Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Drinking Again

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Drinking Again

    I know it wont save me,
    it just makes me worse
    But it's all I can do,
    The real bitter truth.
    It seems so frightening
    That there's no other way.
    I've searched for escape
    And there's none to be found.
    I just want to sleep
    Forever and ever.
    Wake up in a place,
    Which is far, far away.
    I'm not that unhappy,
    My whole life is fine.
    I'm just getting bored
    And want to do something else.
    I want to be different,
    Stand out from the crowd.
    I need to be more than that face in the distance.
    I can't stand the feeling I don't know who I am.
    When I look in the mirror
    I want to break down and cry.
    Because I'm not looking at myself,
    Because I'm now looking for myself.

    I'm actually not - This is a poem I wrote when I was 13.
    I'm 26 now and am on the better side of recovery

    This still fits my emotions at the points when I wasn't doing ok - feeling despair and lost. Wanting an escape.
    I'm not sure whether anyone can relate but thought it might be of some use in 'just starting out'.
    To see a world in a grain of sand
    And a heaven in a wildflower.
    Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
    And eternity in an hour.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Drinking Again

    Lost Soul, you were/are an eloquent writer. Your words capture the thoughts I had as a 13 year old. I read my diary from that time and your words mirror mine but your poetic ability is outstanding. So glad you have kept that poem to reflect on your travels in life. Looking for our true, authentic selves is the essence of life. You captured that.

    For that I thank you.
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu

    Comment

      #3
      Drinking Again

      Great poem Lost soul. Thanks for sharing.

      Rob Hirst is a drummer, writer, and doctor, from the band 'Midnight oil'. Just some inspirational trivia for you. I think he now has a band called 'Ghostwriters'

      Best wishes, G-bloke.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

      Comment

        #4
        Drinking Again

        Great poem lost soul, keep posting :-)


        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

        Comment

          #5
          Drinking Again

          Thank you for sharing that. Beautiful!
          "One day at a time."

          Comment

            #6
            Drinking Again

            Thankyou, I wrote it honestly, which is something as an alcoholic as I progressed - gets buried deeper - the ability to be honest with yourself

            Always building walls and barriers to the outside world, keeping up a face. You become TWO people - the face to the world calm, balanced and in charge - and the true self, the one struggling with alcoholism and with vulnerabilities.

            The more entrenched with our drinking obsessions and habits - the harder it is to reconcile the two and find our true self, I think

            Guitarista, I was going to start a thread on - What did you want to be when you grew up? :H - Along the lines of 'we might have been/still be able to achieve' - Without AL holding us back. I wanted to be a writer, a drummer and a doctor (ridiculous pipe dreams I know! ) - your post was such a strange coincidence.
            To see a world in a grain of sand
            And a heaven in a wildflower.
            Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
            And eternity in an hour.

            Comment

              #7
              Drinking Again

              Lost Soul;1253800 wrote:
              I wanted to be a writer, a drummer and a doctor (ridiculous pipe dreams I know! ) - your post was such a strange coincidence.
              I don't think these are pipe dreams. I know that anything is possible.

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment

                #8
                Drinking Again

                Guitarista - Are you sure Rob Hirst was a doctor and writer as well? I was curious and goggled him and couldn't find anything on that.

                Agreed - ANYTHING is possible for an individual - with enough drive to succeed However medicine requires years of hard work and time, as a single parent with a 6yr old and 6 month baby - I have neither going spare. That is not to say I won't lead a fulfilling life, it's just about my childrens futures and not about my pipe dreams anymore
                To see a world in a grain of sand
                And a heaven in a wildflower.
                Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
                And eternity in an hour.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Drinking Again

                  LS if that is indeed a dream of yours then find a way to go for it. You may have to take it at a slower pace for awhile but do not give it up as impossible. I had three children, pretty much sole parent, run my business and household, taught Sunday school and sat on parent council all while still doing a correspondence course for my herbalist diploma. Don't sell yourself short. You can do it! xo
                  Psalms 119:45


                  ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                  St. Francis of Assisi



                  I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                  :rays:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Drinking Again

                    RC - That is quite an achievement, reading your post makes me feel a little exhausted! Who knows, once my little bambino starts sleeping a little better - and im not concentrating so hard on where did I put the phone (yes, the fridge!) the sky might indeed be the limit.
                    A hearty congrats on your 30 days - So pleased for you xx
                    To see a world in a grain of sand
                    And a heaven in a wildflower.
                    Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
                    And eternity in an hour.

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...
                    X