Back in Time?

[middlepathpilgrim]

Hey guys and gals, I'm back. It's been about 3 years but I've fallen.

Let's see... load up the "reasons"... DH unemployed for 18 months, then underemployed for 15, claimed Chapter 7. Relocated to a southern town dragging our 9-year-old in tow. Huge mourning, big relocate. Much better now. Moved from owning to renting.... etc. All excuses.

I've gotten out of hand being unemployed in a new city and basically, unresponsible. Not a good combination. Devil's work.

Am hitting bottom... My GP won't prescribe Topamax but I've got a month's worth in my pocket. Liver panels are not good... 234 where 27 is normal.

Will check in tomorrow since I'm not worth typing at tonight. Damn, damn and damn.

G

[red67]

Back in Time?

Welcome back. Since you have done this before and you do recognize you have a problem you have a very good foundation to start this again. Yes it will be hard to get started again but you know you can do this. You probably need lots of support and daily reassurance and here you can get that. Plant yourself in the newbies nest and post and read lots. Check in daily if you can.

[ATLThrash]

Back in Time?

Middlepath-- welcome back. I am sorry things have been so tough for you but good for you coming back. I wanted to ask-- and I hope you will not m

[ATLThrash]

Back in Time?

Oops-- posting with iPhone and it sent-- since you seem to have a relationship with a doc and he sees your liver panels at an elevated level-- why is he not willing to prescribe something that could help you? I hope it is not callousness -- the absolute insensitivity of doctors is why I would not say anything to mine while I was actively drinking. I have been sober since August and now have elevated enzymes-- I don't think it is drink now but due to the horrid reaction of doctors in the past there was no way I would mention it. I hope you beat this-- if you are not medicine adverse I have read slot in the meds forum here about options-- some which you might be able to get legitimately on line. I did not go that way but I would throw everything I had at this if that is what was needed. Get immersed in the boards again and kick this in the rear-- you can!

[ThreeDogNight]

Back in Time?

Hi, Middlepath.
It's great that you came back! Such great support here, and I know that I wouldn't have made it this far without the forum. I haven't had a blood test recently, but last summer my liver enzymes were elevated. I take milk thistle 3X a day, as this seems to be the best natural help for the liver. I even started giving it to one of my dogs after his tests showed elevated level (he is getting chemo.) Just got the results yesterday, and they are back down in the normal range. I don't know much about Topa, but maybe it affects the liver? Check out the meds section.
Keep posting and I know you can do it-if I can, anybody can!!!!

:lTDN

[middlepathpilgrim]

Back in Time?

Morning all and thanks for the replies. It's good to be back. Listened to the clearing cd last night and will re-read the book.

ATLTrash... I am who I am and if the doctor can't take it, so be it. The medical center where I have coverage is, I believe, for interns so my doctor has to get permission to do anything off label. They want me to go to rehab (not an option for many reasons) because they're afraid of seizures (don't think so). I gave her my permission to speak with the dr that DID prescribe for me and I'll see if that helps. If not, I'll go hunting down another doctor. Not easy out here since I take Xanax for anxiety attacks and most practices won't even let you in the front door if you take it. Strange world.

Plan on spending some time in the toolbox and clearing out the house today and ordering the supplements. I've just GOT to get motivated to quit drinking. So much of me thinks "why...no one cares." Not constructive thinking to be sure.

Many thanks all for reading and posting. It's good to be back.

G

[ATLThrash]

Back in Time?

Middle-- I applaud you for continuing to find a doctor who will help you-- I would have given up after one bad encounter (actually I did and that is how I found MWO and made my own plan). After I had my son I had horrid post partum depression, it was not really treated well and I buried it by drinking to try to sleep. That lead me to not lose my baby weight and made me more depressed. When I went to the doctor to discuss getting help and told him I was concerned about my drinking and that I was drinking most every night-- he said QUOTE "Stop drinking. You would not be so fat and depressed if you stopped" and that was it! The psychiatrist put me on a number of benzos (not sure why those docs would not see you if you take them-- but maybe because they are misused-- which don't get me on another rant-- ruins it for those who really need it) which I took as prescribed but when I tried to go off them I was in hell. So got off those and then addressed the booze problem.

Did you have a history of seizing? I know people do or can with withdrawing and it depends on how much you drank etc but it sounds like they just don't want to get sued. I am so sorry that you are being treated like that-- it took guts for you to tell the docs who you are and what you wanted. I applaud that and it says alot about how much you want help. Good luck with your journey!

[middlepathpilgrim]

Back in Time?

Hi there, ATLThrash! (Sorry I got the name wrong.)

I don't know where to begin my rant on Western Medicine! I've had some very good doctors and some very bad ones as well. I'm so sorry about your experience! I've gotten the "quit drinking, go to AA" crap as well. Told him to stuff it. I'm not a very good patient:H And rather verbal about it. I'm usually a very quiet, go with the flow, person but something about doctors sets me off.

Just hit the return button and ordered the supplements. I've got to get dressed and out of here for a bit. Looking at four walls and applying for jobs that I won't get (been at it 6 months now) will drive me to the bottle. Thanks for being there!:h

[ATLThrash]

Back in Time?

Good luck with the job search-- that would be depressing. I have a friend in IT in NYC-- worked for all the biggies, was laid off in August and has nothing. He sits at home playing video games and drinking Jack Daniels all day-- we are concerned about him-- and he never used to drink much so I know it can get to a person!

I am not a fan of docs either. I have had some serious illnesses in my life and woudl prefer to see none at all-- but maybe I just have met the wrong ones. Good luck!

[MWOLady]

Back in Time?

Right on about doctors. If it was that easy don't they think we would just stop? Mine said the same thing, "well, I think you should try to stop on your own." HELLO, what part of "I'm an alcoholic." don't you GET!!!!

Order off the internet if you can. I'm using Topamax and although I find the side effects a bit strong, taking it has been a life saver. Check out the Newbie's Nest and stick around!!!

[middlepathpilgrim]

Back in Time?

Hello MWOLady and ATL...

Well, got out and did some errands and am getting ready to clean house! Yes, ATL, do worry about your friend. I get very depressed and am seeing a therapist (can't take any of the anti-depressants--too many side effects). There was many a day when all I could do was curl up in bed and shake until it was time to pick up my daughter at school. I've learned that I have to force myself to go out every day or all I accomplish is a new top score at Bubble Burst.

[ATLThrash]

Back in Time?

And he has no child to pick up and no reason to go out-- he basically orders delivery -- I think even booze is delivered to him. The only good thing is that he had an emergency fund in case this happened-- he wanted to take some time off from work-- he was in the North Tower during 9/11 and basically worked straight through at different big money places until this August.

Keep on keeping on-- we are going to a hockey game tonight which was always a trigger-- one of the rare times I woudl drink outside the house-- so I am going to have to be really careful.