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    #1

    Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

    :new: I'm new here , I don't have the book yet and I've never spoken openly to anyone about my situation.

    I stopped drinking on 26th December because I think I finally realised that I was more angry with myself than I was with the people 'encouraging' me to stop.I am angry for losing control of myself and not facing up to lots of things for lots of years
    I know I have a problem but am not convinced that I would call myself an alcoholic! I hope that does not mean I am not facing up to the problem either I just don't know where the borderlies between "problem with drink" and alcoholic and I'm not sure if it even makes any difference in the long run
    I don't drink all the time but one in three times I do I seem to lose my ability to say 'enough is enough' and I will keep drinking until I get hammerred. The other two times I simply make a better effort to keep it under control but I really wish I was getting hammerred.:

    Does this ring a bell with anyone out there and can anyone provide advice on the best solution ....Is this something you can solve on your own ( with help from reading the book or taking the meds) or is the only solution a full time programme of treatment. Is it possible to identify why we do what we do with drink and thereby solve the drinking problem or is it just a chemical reaction which we have to learn to avoid . I would love to think I could get to a place where I could drink 'socially' without getting overpowered by it . Is that an unrealistic dream ? or do I just have to accept that the solution to the problem is to stop altogether forever
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    #2
    Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

    HI Paddy and welcome!!! I suppose only time will tell whether moderation will work for you. It sounds as if you are able to moderate well most of the time with the occasional binge. Maybe the supplements, in particular, the kudzu that is recommended in the book will be the ticket to keeping you from overdoing it. Some of us have found that we just cannot moderate and others on here have been able to do it. Yes, it has to do with your brain chemistry, but also a lot of determination. Best of luck to you. Glad you found us.
    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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      #3
      Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

      Hi paddy, glad to see your here...you sound like me in the early years of my alcoholism..(i am now 42) now which has progressed for me to abstain forever If I want to keep my family!.....atleast you see your pattern and may be able to correct it. Best of luck to you and keep focused.

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        #4
        Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

        :welcome: Hi Paddy and welcome to this board.

        I have been reading the book and in it she very clearly states that for every 1 "alcoholic" there are four people who can be considered "problem drinkers." I have never been comfortable with labeling myself an "alcoholic"...even if I am one, the word is such a source of shame to me, I have finally given up trying to make it stick and I am now, instead, choosing to accept that, whatever name I am called, I do not, and most times cannot and don't even want to, drink like "other people."

        It leaves me with my own reality and my own wisdom that keeps telling me abstinence, for me, will actually be EASIER than moderating...I can't even imagine myself being happy drinking in moderation. it would be like a cruel tease:bonkers:

        I've also given up trying to figure out why I love to drink so much. I have spent so many years analyzing it, and finally come to the conclusion it doesn't much matter why anymore. What matters is that I do...and I am sick of trying to process it.

        So I guess you could say I've gotten it all boiled down nicely to two basic facts:

        I drink too much and if I am ever to have a life that is void of self hatred, shame, regret and all of the things alcohol seems to cause, then I will have to give up the hooch!

        You are not alone overseas! There are all kinds of us who have been or are still where you are. We all get it :thumbs: So you are in a great place to start your process, whatever that may entail!

        Best wishes to you and welcome to the club!

        Roxy

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          #5
          Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

          Hi Paddy & :welcome:

          I don't think that it matters whether or not you label yourself as an alcoholic...

          What matters most is that you have recognised that you have a problem with alcohol the same as everyone else on this site and you have asked for help ..

          :goodjob: well done for that.....

          You are in the right place to ge the help and support that you need ....

          All the best ...
          Love & Hugs, Paula :h :l
          sigpicXXX

          Comment

            #6
            Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

            I agree with what PaulaW said. The most important thing is YOUR desire to stop, not that someone else wants you to.

            On thing you already have on your side is the unbelievably supportive community here at MYO. I just started as well and am overwhelmed by the support I've gotten and the people I've met.

            Best of luck to you.
            Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

            Comment

              #7
              Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

              Welcome Paddyoverseas! I can't really add much to what has already been said here! Just wanted to welcome you here!

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                #8
                Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

                :welcome: Paddy,
                I am with everyone else here, I am sure if you keep reading you will find that we all have a lot in common. I think the biggest step for me was admitting I have a problem and want to change that. I guess my first big test since being af id tonite when I go curl. We always have drinks on the ice and of course after. I am hoping to stay af but if I do cave am really hoping to keep it to 1 or 2.
                Again welcome, this is a great place to start your journey.
                :l :h
                "What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it."
                Catherine Pulsifer

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                  #9
                  Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

                  Hello Paddy. Welcome.

                  I can't have just a couple of drinks. If I go out, which I very rarely do, I have to drink as much as I can, as quickly as I can. If I drink at home, which was 3/4/5 times a week, I had to drink until there was nothing left in the house. I've decided to stop drinking all together. There is no middle way for me.
                  Others here can moderate successfully.
                  You will have to find out, I suppose by trial and error, which way is for you. I tried and erred too many times, so I had to stop.
                  Anyway, it's good to have you here.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Hi I'm new and not sure how this works

                    Paddy, a cruel tease - what a great way of describing the issue, I have difficulty with this as well . At the moment I find I can only have a few if it is with a meal - obviously stomach is too full for my poison of choice (lager) and have full quota of carbs!
                    Good luck and I am sure you will work it out.
                    mic

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