So now I know i am an Alcoholic.. :(

[levislover]

I am 24 years old. Started drinking 2 years before. I never even had a beer before in my life. These 2 years have been full of alcohol. I tend to drink without eating and wake up vomiting, mouth stinking like shit and with bad hangover.
Last night i was at my cousin's marriage and was pretty drunk. Took out my car and went on to get something. It was a blackout until i hit the road divider and tyre burst out making the immovable. Nobody knows about this incident. My parents don't even know that i drink and i know that i am an alcoholic. It is eating me from inside. I try to manage to quit for a week and then forget everything and starts drinking again.
I hate my life

[caper564]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Hi Levis,
OH please please don't hate your life. we only get one, hate the alcohol, hate the disease. I mean HATE it, with everything, hate what it does to you, hate what you become when you drink it, hate the after effects, just hate it so much that you never want to see it, smell it, drink it again. the worst thing that can happen to you is not your own death but living with the thought of killing someone else, perhaps a family, children, someones mom or dad. are you in school? talk to the counsellor at school. trust me they have heard it all. the first step was posting here, i know thats hard. to actually see it in print. but you on the path, stay on it.

we are here for you
caper

[levislover]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

My parents don't know about my drinking problem. If i stay at home with my parents i go 10-15 days without drinking but when i go out of city to my friends, i do drink and drink a lot. I just want alcohol out of my life. I don't want my parents to find out about it ( that i ever drank ) but right now i am standing over a very thin line which will lead to disaster if they ever get to know.

[caper564]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

is there someone you can talk to? a counsellor will keep everything private. do you have a health plan at work? if your in canada i can help you find someone for no cost. You can PM me if you need anything or just wnat to chat.

caper

[Cinders]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

levislover,

I went through a period of time where I didn't express my knowledge that I was an alcoholic to anyone but those here on MWO. At least I had MWO to vent but the hiding and the fear was horrible.

In my case, things finally got so bad that everyone knew. Then the game was on!! It has taken me years and years to get to the point where I want to be sober. Not that I know I should be sober but that I WANT to be sober.

I hope you can achieve the want sooner than later.

Be grateful it was just a barrier you hit and not another car or a person. That is something to truly be grateful for. I know about the blackout driving. That is one of the reasons we should never ever pick up a drink again in our lives.

:welcome: and I hope you find a way to get to sobriety soon.

Cindi

[Lost Soul]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Sorry you are struggling Levi :l

I'm 26 - It's hard being young and alot of social outings revolve around drinking. I think I can get how you feel.

You've taken the first step and recognised you have a problem, many who struggle with drinking never admit they do - it helps to be honest with yourself

From your posts you seem desperate for a way out and perhaps don't know how. Reaching out for help here is great - knowing you are not in this alone makes you feel less isolated and there is much good advice here.

I don't know your background - but have you contemplated telling your parents? I know that may sound horrendous - but if you have good parents who love you - they will want to help and support you.

[levislover]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Lost Soul;1257089 wrote: Sorry you are struggling Levi :l

I'm 26 - It's hard being young and alot of social outings revolve around drinking. I think I can get how you feel.

You've taken the first step and recognised you have a problem, many who struggle with drinking never admit they do - it helps to be honest with yourself

From your posts you seem desperate for a way out and perhaps don't know how. Reaching out for help here is great - knowing you are not in this alone makes you feel less isolated and there is much good advice here.

I don't know your background - but have you contemplated telling your parents? I know that may sound horrendous - but if you have good parents who love you - they will want to help and support you.

Yes i don't know how. I can go cold turkey i know that but how do i just keep going. I would go on for around 10 days without drinking and then all of a sudden would get a phone call from friends for a meet-up. And then everything collapses. I just forget everything and start drinking until the time i puke.

[redwinedrinker]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Hey buddy. No need to hate your life, cause many of us in here are in the same boat. Honestly bro, if you trust yourself, you can do it. I just started to quit drinking…. So far, today is my day 7 ! I don’t know how long I can last, but every time I want to drink now, I will remind myself the hangover feeling and the time wasted. Hope you can do it !!!

[MWOLady]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Levis you may have to neglect your friends for some time until you can figure out how to get some help for yourself. Can't you come up with some excuses for not going out? You could have the flu? or A cold? Or something like that? If these are only drinking friends are they really friends?

It sounds like you have some serious thinking to do about what you want to do with the next few months while you get an idea of what your life is all about: are you going to drink yourself into the grave? Or are you going to get this problem fixed so you can live a happy, productive life? As you are a young person NOW is your time!!!!!!

Can you go to the doctor and confide in him? Can you take something to help you stay sober? Please keep posting so we can support you!!

[levislover]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

MWOLady;1257602 wrote: Levis you may have to neglect your friends for some time until you can figure out how to get some help for yourself. Can't you come up with some excuses for not going out? You could have the flu? or A cold? Or something like that? If these are only drinking friends are they really friends?

It sounds like you have some serious thinking to do about what you want to do with the next few months while you get an idea of what your life is all about: are you going to drink yourself into the grave? Or are you going to get this problem fixed so you can live a happy, productive life? As you are a young person NOW is your time!!!!!!

Can you go to the doctor and confide in him? Can you take something to help you stay sober? Please keep posting so we can support you!!

Yes they are real friends but whenever we get together we party. I am the biggest drunk of all of them and they look upon me that i will say "Let's party". Whenever i try to abstain from drinking they kinda start saying what should we do ? Like asking me let's party.
I am a religious person and i thinking of taking an oath for some time and also tell my friends that i am under an oath, so i cannot drink.

[DriftyAlison0]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

I was 24 when I quit (25 now) and when I drank ( 2 yrs and 4 months) I knew I was an alcoholic and needed to quit. Tried too many quits to count, failed, moderated pretty good and eventually failed in that. This site has helped me a ton. Keep reading and set up a plan and stick to it. Checking the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html is a real good idea. Have a support group both online and offline.

I had a friend tell me that when I was drinking, I was drinking her and others under the table. I stopped the madness before it got real bad and now I am living the sober life for 8 months. It isn't easy, but its easier then continuing to drink. These days I can go out and not have too much of a problem of not drinking and I am starting to have days where I don't think of AL and when I do think and/or crave AL, I think of you all, and I think of the disappointment and the hangover. I am not going to go through another hangover as long as I stay sober. I could try to mod again, but I know where I would end up, so no way in heck will I go down that road again.

I still go here every day even if I don't post. Oh and I didn't want to tell people that I thought that my problem was so bad that I was trying to quit, and I think that played a huge role in failing. I wanted to tell that I quit weeks after. This quit, I told people that I quit and this quit has been easier in a sense that I got people rooting from both sides and I can go places where they won't even ask or rarely ask. That is why I say tell others about it. It can make the difference between failing and succeeding.

[levislover]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

DriftyAlison0;1258040 wrote: I was 24 when I quit (25 now) and when I drank ( 2 yrs and 4 months) I knew I was an alcoholic and needed to quit. Tried too many quits to count, failed, moderated pretty good and eventually failed in that. This site has helped me a ton. Keep reading and set up a plan and stick to it. Checking the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html is a real good idea. Have a support group both online and offline.

I had a friend tell me that when I was drinking, I was drinking her and others under the table. I stopped the madness before it got real bad and now I am living the sober life for 8 months. It isn't easy, but its easier then continuing to drink. These days I can go out and not have too much of a problem of not drinking and I am starting to have days where I don't think of AL and when I do think and/or crave AL, I think of you all, and I think of the disappointment and the hangover. I am not going to go through another hangover as long as I stay sober. I could try to mod again, but I know where I would end up, so no way in heck will I go down that road again.

I still go here every day even if I don't post. Oh and I didn't want to tell people that I thought that my problem was so bad that I was trying to quit, and I think that played a huge role in failing. I wanted to tell that I quit weeks after. This quit, I told people that I quit and this quit has been easier in a sense that I got people rooting from both sides and I can go places where they won't even ask or rarely ask. That is why I say tell others about it. It can make the difference between failing and succeeding.

Yes i think MWO can help me. That is why i try to browse MWO 2-3 times a day.
Sometimes i just think that the day i started drinking was the worst day in my life. It led to a disaster. But if i can stick to soberness than i can put those wrong things behind me which i did while i was drunk.

[Pinecone]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Leivslover, welcome! I just want to say that your story hits home with me. We have alot of things in common about the way we drink (or the way I drank when I was your age). You can have exactly the kind of life that you want for yourself. It sounds like you have been doing some clear thinking about this recently. I hope to see you around!

[Lost Soul]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Hi, How are you feeling?

You mensioned you feel like you don't know how - but already you are thinking about what you can do which is very positive

Managing a little while alcohol free and then drinking alot is binge drinking - a bit like binge eating (If your super hungry, when you eat you stuff yourself and eat too much!) This can be a very easy cycle to fall into and very hard to break - I have struggled with this. I can never only have one. So I cannot ever have that 1. Having to come to terms with this is hard - as at first I very much still wanted that 1! And indeed missed that 1! It gets easier though

Please tell me to butt out if I am prying but you mensioned that you didn't want your parents to find out and you were religeous. If you have had a strict upbringing this may be why you would drink to excess, in a way of letting your hair down?

It is positive that you view unhealthy drinking habits as just that. You used the phrases 'worst day of my life' and talk of putting those wrong things behind me.
From your posts you sound like you feel very cross woth yourself - don't beat your self up too bad! This can put alot of pressure on which can in turn set yourself up for failure - be gentle with yourself

I am not religeous - but I do have tremendous respect for those who are and your faith can be your greatest asset and comfort during your struggle You are not perfect (none of us are!) we are all learning - the day we stop learning is the day we die. We all inevitably will make mistakes along the way. Im happy that you are finding regularly visiting MWO of benefit to you. All the best xx
Best wishes

[levislover]

So now I know i am an Alcoholic..

Lost Soul;1258521 wrote:
I can never only have one. So I cannot ever have that 1. Having to come to terms with this is hard - as at first I very much still wanted that 1! And indeed missed that 1! It gets easier though Yes this is it. You can have the whole bottle or cannot have a little drop of it. I don't know how people manage who take a single drink and enjoy.

Lost Soul;1258521 wrote:

Please tell me to butt out if I am prying but you mensioned that you didn't want your parents to find out and you were religeous. If you have had a strict upbringing this may be why you would drink to excess, in a way of letting your hair down?

The upbringing was never hard. I mean parents never intervened in anything. Until 22 years of age i never had a sip of alcohol. But one day the cycle you are talking about broke. And it broke so hard i had black outs for the following two years.