Irie's Journey to 30 days...

[Irie]

Day 2.

Good morning. It's been almost a year since I found MWO, and the effect it has had on my life has been profound. However, no matter how committed I am to remaining AF, I have not been able to get past 10 days or so before I cave... and, to be honest I've only gotten to the 10 day mark two or three times.

So, I'm going to post every day for the next month, and hope the extra public accountability does the trick. That and a whole lot of hard work and knowing I want this more than anything.

I hope it's not too selfish to start a personal thread like this, since we all have the same struggles. I just know its time for me to be successful in this battle and I think this will help.

[sunshinedaisies]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Oh Irie - of course it isn't selfish - that is what this forum is about - this way everyone can give you support. What happens at the 10 day mark that makes you start again? Can you make a plan to stop that happening this time? Do you feel that maybe as you have managed 10 days that you can handle the odd drink now and then? I KNOW I can't drink again. Write down WHY you want it so much - when you get to that point where you start craving so badly that you cave - go to your list - re-read it - or come here and read your post!! Do anything - but DON'T pick up that drink. Go to the Tool Box - loads of helpful advice there too. See if someone else is starting their journey the same time as you - PM each other ........ I found L-Glut to be helpful to me in the early days re the cravings - took them away totally. I know you are going to get loads of other folk coming here and giving advice - I wish you well, and I have faith that I know you can do this - Go YOU,

Hugs, Sun

[Nelz]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Go get em Irie!! I have faith in ya, I just know you can do it


Wishing you total success in you goal........eyes on the prize

[Unwasted]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Irie, just wanted to stop by and lend support. It's a tough journey to be sure. I've been reading up on Antabuse and have ordered some as a backup for myself. I don't even know if I'll take it, but I've hit a couple of rough spots that made me feel I needed some insurance. I don't know much about it other than many have had success with it, and it makes you very ill if you drink while on it. I plan to use it before going on vacation, which is something that always trips me up. Like you, I'd rather do this without another drug, but I also want to remain open to something that might make the difference for me if I find I can't do it without something beyond willpower and the support here (which is amazing and why I'm now nearing 90 days AF).

Anyway, in my Antabuse research Greg posted something that really struck me. Part of his success is that he has come to the realization that much of his romanticizing about alcohol can be attributed to "euphoric recall" and that many of his good memories about drinking are really from a very long time ago and aren't accurate about what alcohol does for him now. If you're interested, he and others have posted a thread in the meds section. I really think this is true for most of us.....alcohol gave us a pretty amazing feeling way back when, but if we're honest, shortly before we got to where it became a problem for us, it wasn't giving us that great of a feeling. I had started to get depressed and angry when I drank.........so keeping reality in mind should be a good tool to have in our arsenal!

Sending you peace and strength. :lilheart:

[Ishybit]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Hello Irie,
I'm glad you started this thread. I've been a lurker on this site for a very long time. I was feeling like crap yesterday and i realized that part of my failure of not being able to quit is that I haven't reached out or put myself out there/here for support and some accountability. The more i think about alcohol and try to put it into perspective....i think "so your an alcoholic, big whoop, it's not the end of the world...do it." mind you its 6am right now and I'm always optimistic early in the day. Anyway, this is not easy for me to make a commitment....but I would like to join you for the next 30 days. I think I can handle posting or checking in once a day. I'm in...Ishy

[Struggles 106]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Hey Ishy and Irie
Welcome and good luck! How about if you guys check in on this thread daily? This is really selfish on mu part, because I love coming here, reading and throwing in my yammering on assorted subjects. In my case it keeps me sane!
Stay strong guys-it's worth it

[middlepathpilgrim]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Hey Ishy and Irie!

Me too... I pledge to post every day. Every day no matter what. I'm done beating myself up and have got my tools together (all except the Topamax, but I can find a way to get it). Geared up, fired up.

See you guys tomorrow

G

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

What nice support and how great to have you all joining me! I absolutely will check in daily for the next 30 days. I will give a lot of thought to what normally has me giving up at day 10 or so, but I think I know. It's a combination of what you all have said. At that point I romanticize drinking and think I can handle it. I know that's not true and I'm not going to waste my time going down that road again!

There is some real strength between us... Let's use it to pull each other through the next month. Ishy, I'm so glad you posted. I'll bet it makes a big difference for you. Tonight, I'm feeling strong. No problems here! If it gets tougher as the day goes on, I might think about Antabuse. I've thought about it before, and I may need it to make the 30 days. One way or another, I'm going to do it! Thanks for the support, and I hope I can share some, too.

[K9Lover]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

UW made a great point in her post regarding how we view alcohol. I know I've always slipped after long periods because I romanticize it...you know, the drink in front of the fire, feeling so relaxed and happy. We have to move past that version and remember the one that got us HERE. For me, that's the version where I get angry, hostile and mean, blackout and then pass out...and wake up feeling worse than death, physically and mentally. Keep the reality of drinking at the front of your mind, and not the TV ad version. You can do this...we'll be here to support you!

p.s. I highly recommend Antabuse!

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Day 3.

Wow! It doesn't take very long to feel the benefits of a little AF time. I've slipped back into the happy mood I typically have when I wake up from a good night's sleep and my first thought is...Yea! I did not drink last night! Great way to start the day.

I'm away from home for my job and last night in my hotel room I spent a lot of the evening just watching tv. I could not believe how many times there were shots of people drinking, and most often it was wine. Sitcom, drama, ad, you name it, there was the wine. No wonder we romanticize drinking!

I hope everyone has a great day and is successful with their AF goal. Let's not let anything derail us. Nothing!

[Unwasted]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Irie, it's funny but now that I'm not drinking I notice the TV propoganda for alcohol a lot more.........it's astounding. Every single show glamorizes drinking.........I would bet that the people with vested interests pay big time to be featured -- just like sodas and cereal boxes!

Glad you're already feeling the effects of getting the poison out of your system! Take care. :lilheart:

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Day 3 is safely In the bag. Back to my hotel room after a grueling day. I could use a drink to relax, but it's not a big deal. I didn't have much trouble at all passing it up. So, I'll try unwinding with a bath and then see if I can unravel the work issues that popped up today so that I'm ready for tomorrow. In a bit of a funk, but nothing I can't handle.

[Unwasted]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Good job Irie. I had a hard night too......not sure why, but was totally bummed at the thought of never being able to drink again. Crazy, though, because I know I'll feel totally happy in the morning and won't have the slightest desire to start up the torture chamber!

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

I guess we have to really start appreciating the joys of delayed gratification, Unwasted. We are used to instant gratification...as soon as we sip that first drink. We are having to learn that if we resist that urge, we are rewarded the next way in a far more meaningful way. It's just hard to always be so dammed practical though, isn't it?

You are creeping right up on 90 days, though! What an amazing accomplishment!

[Ishybit]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Good job Irie and good attitude as well. I meant to post this morning but it just got away from me, busy with kids etc.... Well today has been a bit of a struggle. It's the antsy-twitchy feeling i get. Drinking is such a reflex. It's the fastest twitching muscle i have ....brain to hand to mouth. it's amazing when I can't slow it down in time or ride the urge out. When I feel like that and act on the urge, i'm already chasing down the next goblet of wine before the first one has even hit my lips. Anyway, i'm getting through today twitchy and all and without drinking. On to tomorrow. thanks for posting everyone!!! Posting definitely helps.
ishy