Irie's Journey to 30 days...

[shueaddict]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Good glorious morning,

Here?s to putting another AF day behind me ? not without temptation ? hubby poured himself a nice chilled grappa and proceeded to sip it in front of me. Man, my salivating glands went into overload !!! I stuffed my face with spicy sausages, downed a liter of Perrier ? and quickly made lavender tea ( cleaning up the dished meant in the past sneaking in another drink ? grappa in a tumbler disguised as water ? urghhhh!!!).

I am thinking about asking him not to drink in front of me (during the week at least ) ? would that be cruel? He is supportive but not really in full knowledge about the extent of the hell that I am going through. He is also one of those infuriating people who only has one glass in the evening and leaves it unfinished on the table for me to clear up.

Scottish Lass ? well done winning your WWF evening fight. My money is on YOU!!!

UnWasted ? Holidays have been my undoing in the past ? the last two I started AF the first half and went downhill from there ? the moment I relax, let my guard down ( and wonder off outside wifi coverage for MWO) I cave.

Ishy ? I checked my journals too ? I actually started worrying about my drinking in 2009, in Jan 2011 I finally got the courage to go to see a doctor about ( ?liver is fine , dear, just drink moderately? ? and HOW exactly am I supposed to do that???)

Mumoftwo ? let us know how you get on on Antabuse ? it takes guts and determination.

Irie ? looking forward to another dose of positive thoughts from you today

Sunshine ? lovely to have you watching over us

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Day11!

Good morning! I got a great night's sleep and I'm ready to go. I'll have a long day today, an all day meeting andadria a drive across the state for a meeting tomorrow. The good thing is there is no chance of drinking today. By the time I get to my hotel tonight I'll be ready for a bath and bed!

Shue, you sound so happy! Good to have the real you back. I'm going to have to try the Lavender tea you've been mentioning! I've never drank so much tea in my life! My standby is Constant Comment which has a little orange flavor but I've also been drinking lots of vanilla and licorice teas. I've been using my prettiest mugs to make it feel like a little treat. One thing that I enjoyed about wine that had nothing to do with the buzz is that I always drank it in beautiful wine glasses. That's something I can replicate with tea or sparkling water by making sure I use special mugs or glasses when I drink them.

I had been eating like crazy, too, lately and finally put a stop to it by starting Medifadt last Friday. I'd never tried it, but lots of my friends have had good success with it. Since you have to stick to it to a tee, I never wanted to risk spending the money for it since I knew I would end up drinking and blow the diet. So far so good! I need to lose 20 pounds to be exactly where I want to be, so I've got my fingers crossed!

Thursday can be a tough day. Let's all hang in there so we can face the weekend with some good AF free time behind us. I certainly don't want to face a Day One on Friday!

[sunshinedaisies]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Mumof2 - How do you mutiquote? I have never been able to get the hang of it!! Anyway - lovely to have you here. Yes, I too was a highly functioning Alcoholic too - it never affected anything in my life - but as I was drinking every evening, I decided that I had a problem - and wanted to get it out of my life! Did to immigrate from UK to Australia? I am English living in USA! Love how we get such a mixed bunch on here! How are you feeling? Obviously with the antabuse you can't drink - a friend of mine took that and still had cravings (obviously) - do you? I am so pleased that you are doing so well......

Good morning Shue - as irie said - you sound SO happy! I do not think it would be cruel to ask Hubs not to drink in front of you - if he can have half a drink and forget about it, he probably could forgo it for now. He seems really sweet and I am sure that if you explain it to him, he will be upset that he has been affecting you by putting the AL in front of you that way......

Hi there Irie - YES - yet another day under your belt! I remember that I ate like crazy the first two days - then made myself stop and think about it - and decided that I would only eat when I was hungry - and would have a glass of water the rest of the time and got back into my regular routine quite quickly. Good luck with the Medifast!!

Hey there SL - with 2 girls, 11 and 13, the timing is wonderful - they will not be as tempted if they don't see you drinking all the time (one hopes anyway) plus their memories of their childhood will be better - yes? Anyway - well done on another day - keep it up :l

Hey Ishy - how are you doing? Hanging in there? We are all hoping for you - how did day three go - or is it day 4 - I am getting old - LOL - Lifechange - you too - how are you doing - post and be with us.

Hugs to all, sun X

[MumOfTwo]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Morning/Evening Everyone,

Hope you all had a fabulous Thursday

Sunny - We are actually from South Africa, however we lived in the UK for a couple of years before moving here. It is funny though, no matter where you are from or what your background, we all have similar AL issues. My cravings are getting less and less and so are the constant thoughts of AL. I know it is going to take time. The good thing with Antabuse and me is that it takes away the internal argument to drink/not drink, which I really really needed. I have (touch wood) not experienced any SE so far. I know AB is not for everyone, but it is the right one for me.

Shue - congrats on another AF day, every one under your belt is a victory, you should be proud. I dont think asking your DH to not drink in front of you is cruel. I would point out to him that it is increasing your temptation. Would he consider going AF? I am lucky that my DH decided to go AF as well (he does not have a problem like me and also could have one or two and leave it at that), so we have no AL in the house. however he still does not understand what a biggy being AF is for me (cause he does not have the problem). dont think he will ever get it. the only ones who understand are you wonderful ladies

Ishy and SL - 6 girls between us how fabulous. Being a sober mommy is sooo much better and really does send a better message to them

SL - hope you are hanging in there and that the AF fight is still winning ((hugs))

Ishy - how are you doing today? Hope all is going ok and the fight is subsiding ((hugs))

Irie - another one under our belts, does it not feel good I am also battling with my weight and have about 10kgs (also about 20 pounds) to loose (this is all AL weight I put on). Am trying to eat sensibly, but not too much is happening. May need to follow a program soon.

Time for this bunny to get out of bed, get the kids up for school and off to work on this beautiful Friday. Forecast for 30deg C (have no idea what that is in F - sorry lol ).

Am looking foward to a second AF weekend.

Wishing you all a safe and wonderful thursday evening/friday and I will try check in later

xx Jo

[scottish lass]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

OMG - I HATE witching hour!! I want a drink, but I don't too! Hoping the don't wins, but I would love a drink!!
TGIF Mom - we have a ways to go.
Yes, lots of similarities for us, I am British living in the US.
As to tea, i am loving mint tea just now - never tried Lavendar - I like Lavendar, but never tried Lav tea.
Ishy - you around? soon we will have a week under our belts. Hope all is good.
OK - off to make supper, without wine...more changes...just lik eclean up time :H:H

[Ishybit]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Hello everyone,
Well I just dodged a couple of bullets! May be a few more to go but I'm a little calmer.SL your post made me laugh out loud....that's exactly how I was feeling...in the same time zone. This has been by far the hardest day. I started out tired...again,( I swear I'm anemic) but I pushed thru a spin class and felt soooo great BUT feeling great makes me panic because that euphoria or endorphin kick makes me happy enough to drink!! So I spent a lot of the day totally obsessing about friggin drinking! Damn it's crazy.
I did check in a couple of times but I find I need a chunk of time to post....it's time consuming, in a good way of course . Hugs to all of you....seriously. Thanks for posting.

[Ishybit]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Ha Shue,
when my liver results were fine......I would just use it to chug-a-lug. I remember hoping my liver would send a red flag, then maybe I'd do something about it. I must admit my b12 s were off....and I'm pretty certain that's AL related.
Ishy

[scottish lass]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Supper done, still want wine!
Ishy - isn't that the thruth, something good happens, and I want to celebrate - feeling good and I want to enjoy the feeling, not sure why I think wine will help with that, but that's exactly what I thought.
The first time I plucked up courage to mention my drinking to a Dr, she told me I was just fine and not to worry - well I loved hearing that and took it all the way to the bank! It gave me a few more years of denial. Next time I brought it up, I had it dismissed, I asked to have my liver numbers checked - they were fine and teh Dr said told you so - CRAZY! I know I have a problem, I work in health care and am so well aware - I would love to believe the drs, but we obviously know more about it than they do!
Mom of 2, you sound so up beat, well done - keep it up!
Off to keep busy until this time passes, or bed time comes :H

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Just getting into my hotel room. I think by now the witching hour is over for you, SL and Ishy! I hope you both made it safely through! It sounds like you both were on top of it, so i'm betting you did. I was white knuckling it tonight, but not because I wanted to drink, it was because I hare big city traffic, especially at night! I don't know how people manage it. I guess you just get used it, but I was tied up in a knot.

So how many millions of times have I holed up in my hotel room with a bottle of wine (or more)? More than I can count, that's for sure! No problem tonight, though.

I don't want to get my hopes up yet, but the nicest thing happened tonight. When I called home to tell my husband I had arrived, i could tell right off the bat that he was stone cold sober. Ler me tell you, that virtually never happens. He said he was taking a page out of my book. I'm smiling as I type this. It's almost to much to hope for that we could both get this monster off our backs. Sunshine, I think you said that's what happened with your husband? Boy, what a miracle it would be!

This is my second marriage, and we both have drunk heavily throught the whole 15 years that we've been together. I don't know how on earth we've managed to have such a good marriage with all the drinking! It would be a great time to start a new chapter without alcohol. Well, one step at a time...

Good to see you back, Mum. You are doing great. Boy, do I envy your warm weather. I'm sick of winter!

[Nelz]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Irie;1263593 wrote: Just getting into my hotel room. I think by now the witching hour is over for you, SL and Ishy! I hope you both made it safely through! It sounds like you both were on top of it, so i'm betting you did. I was white knuckling it tonight, but not because I wanted to drink, it was because I hare big city traffic, especially at night! I don't know how people manage it. I guess you just get used it, but I was tied up in a knot.

So how many millions of times have I holed up in my hotel room with a bottle of wine (or more)? More than I can count, that's for sure! No problem tonight, though.

I don't want to get my hopes up yet, but the nicest thing happened tonight. When I called home to tell my husband I had arrived, i could tell right off the bat that he was stone cold sober. Ler me tell you, that virtually never happens. He said he was taking a page out of my book. I'm smiling as I type this. It's almost to much to hope for that we could both get this monster off our backs. Sunshine, I think you said that's what happened with your husband? Boy, what a miracle it would be!

This is my second marriage, and we both have drunk heavily throught the whole 15 years that we've been together. I don't know how on earth we've managed to have such a good marriage with all the drinking! It would be a great time to start a new chapter without alcohol. Well, one step at a time...

Good to see you back, Mum. You are doing great. Boy, do I envy your warm weather. I'm sick of winter!

This is so awesome....I got all goose pimply when you were talking about your hubs!

[shueaddict]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Good morning, lovelies

Another AF day done ? Went to the movies with 2 girlfriends ? they had wine with dinner .. the smell of the wine danced in my nostrils and filled my mouth with saliva ? and I don?t even have a good sense of smell ? blessing in disguise really ( especially when changing nappies or having the dog faring around) ? Anyhoo ? I realized that I cannot smell any oaky undertone or cherry casing or anything ? I just smelled ALCOHOL ? terrible realization but it just went to prove how sensitive I am to AL.

Ishy & SL ? I could have written that ? I went to the doctor hoping he was going to scare the living daylights out of me ? and guilt me into not drinking. I remember telling him that I have been drinking more and more over the past few years and Xmas NY I completely over did it and I am concerned about my health. I think that is pretty forthcoming. Well, I guess if your liver enzymes and internal scan are OK ? then you must be fine. Noooooo ? WE KNOW BETTER!

Mom of Two ? I ?ll be working on my hubby too . He?s got good potential to become o social drinker only. Minus 10 celsius at my end ? but I love it ? going skiing / sledding this weekend

Irie ? ouchie ? rewind to last year ? I was away for work every other week ? remember coming back from work dinners to order yet more wine ? stare into beautiful Vienna view from my posh hotel room and drink myself to sleep. I really do not want to go back there.

Sunshine ? thx for the advice, I?ll put that to good use. I never thought about it like that.

Nelz;1263604 wrote: This is so awesome....I got all goose pimply when you were talking about your hubs!

Nelz ? that?s because you are a great hubby too, you big softie!

Have agreat AF Friday!

[lifechange]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

good morning everyone!!--or late afternoon for those of you in aus.!! i'm american livingi n germany, so i'm somewhere in between. i'm so jealous of the 30C, Mumof2
this is a great thread, Irie--i read it each day, even if i don't post. it's so nice to hear about the call with your husband.
you're all doing so well and are so positive.
Shue, i also don't think it would be bad to ask your hubby not to drink in front of you. at least at home and for awhile. you sound so upbeat and strong-- his support would mean a lot.
Ishy and SL--great on getting through the witching hours. i'm always surprised at how strong the cravings can be at times--and then when they're gone, they're gone. at least that's been my experience. this time!!!
Sunshine, it's always nice to hear your words. thanks for thinking of everyone.

i'm now on day 10 and am also the mum of 2 girls-- 7 and 10 yrs old. i feel so good about being on this path. i'm so happy you started this 30 day thread, Irie.

a wonderful, sober friday to you all.

[sunshinedaisies]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Good Morning everyone.....just popping in to say hi and well done to you all - I am feeling old this morning - LOL All your girls are so young - which i think is wonderful! It is great that you are getting this monster off your backs now - my two girls are 26 and 28! When I quit, my youngest brought me a bouquet a flowers to work with a note saying "I am SOOO proud of you" - I now have that note on the fridge as a constant reminder !!! To stop now, when yours are so young is a tremendous thing to do - you have so much of your life ahead of you and although I didn't start drinking nightly until not that long ago (relatively speaking), if I could have looked forward at your ages, I would have stopped way back. So this is an awesome thing you are all doing. I am so proud of all of you........

Irie - how lovely that your hubs might be joining you - but don't push him - I said nothing to mine about him joining me - he decided all on his own - and yes, he hasn't been drinking either - he quit about 4 or 5 days after I did. I am STILL amazed that he hasn't started again - absolutely gobsmacked! He drank way more than I did and I never would have thought he could do it - but he just stopped. Just. Like. That. Will of iron when he wants to have one.

Off to get ready for work - late shift last night and early shift today - barely 5 hours sleep - I don't do well on little sleep - have a wonderful day everyone,

Hugs, Sun XX

[Irie]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Day 12!

sunshinedaisies;1263752 wrote: Irie - how lovely that your hubs might be joining you - but don't push him - I said nothing to mine about him joining me - he decided all on his own - and yes, he hasn't been drinking either - he quit about 4 or 5 days after I did. I am STILL amazed that he hasn't started again - absolutely gobsmacked! He drank way more than I did and I never would have thought he could do it - but he just stopped. Just. Like. That. Will of iron when he wants to have one.

Hi Sunshine. I couldn't agree with you more about not pushing him. I've been so, so careful to make sure he doesn't feel like I'm judging him if he drinks and I don't. I'm in absolutely no position to judge! I think he just sees how happy I am and wants in on it!

My kids are older, too. I have two married daughters who each have two young children, and my son got married this summer, so no kids yet for them. I found out earlier this week that my oldest is pregnant again, so I will be the grandmother of 5! Holy cow, how did that happen? I still feel like a young mom myself!

I'm so looking forward to the three day weekend! I'll have to spend the majority of the time in the office, but once that's done hopefully work will be a little less stressful. Maybe once I get this alcohol out of my life I can take a look at the other thing that's out of balance in my life. My job is way, way too stressful. Unfortunately, I need the income to pay the bills, or I would think about looking for a lower paying, less stressful position. That's a problem for another day, though. For now, I have a laser focus on getting the AL monkey off my back.

I appreciate so much all you who are joining this thread. I honestly feel like I have a secret weapon, and you guys are it! I felt a little selfish when I started it, but I can see it's good support for others, so that's just perfect.

I won't get home until late tonight, but you can bet I'll log on to report my second sober Friday night! I hope that we all navigate the weekend successfully. We certainly have the tools and support to do it!

[mylife]

Irie's Journey to 30 days...

Hi Irie,

I'd like to join your thread late if that's okay? I think I know most of you from other threads, and it's great reading about all your success. I'm on day 2, but the good news is my antabuse arrived and I've started, so I have hi hopes for my sobriety. My pattern in the past has been to get in about 10 - 20 days AF and then talk myself into "just one". I'm really not sure what happens to be honest as I always know it won't be just one, but then I'm on a craving and drinking cycle that goes on for days.

Anyway, I'm here and loving reading your posts. Irie you are doing great. I can't believe I think I read you're doing medifast at the same time?? !! :goodjob:

Great to hear from all of you and hope you have a wonderful AF day.