DUI update

[Nelz]

DUI update

Unwasted;1258955 wrote: Nelz............24 hours....not months.

uhhmmmm, yeah, I knew that..............just seeing if you guys paid attention to my posts...yeah, yeah, thats it


/puts back on reading glasses once thought not needed

[Struggles 106]

DUI update

Hey Star

I'm so glad you returned with an update! I was thinking of you. I'm so sorry about all this, but everyone here is right. Let this be your bottom. Don't be like the guy Unwasted talked about, or the guy that I know that is blind drunk EVERY day.
I know you feel awful, and I know about the husband thing too. I had the same type of situation. This is a mistake not a condemnation of you as a person. Addiction is simply what it is--noone chooses it, but it's what you do about it.
I told you before that I live in NC in the Raleigh area-got stopped a couple of years ago driving drunk and was allowed to park my car and call someone. Still don't know why.
That was not enough of a bottom for me as I continued to be stupid for a couple more years. Your addictive mind might tell you that drinking is not the issue, that it's about drinking AND driving. I think you know better than that. It's the drinking-period.
Hold your head high. You can get through this. You are NOT a bad person because of this. Like Nelz I hope your husband comes around, in terms of educating himself about your situation, and feeliong some compassion, understanding and support for you. At any rate-you've still got us!
Take good care of yourself and get better.

[K9Lover]

DUI update

Star -
I completely understand what you are going through. I got 2 DUI's within a year of each other. I was told that statistically that would happen, but I thought "Not to me!!!"...well um yeah, it did. You WILL get past this. 24 hours in jail will hardly register. I had to do 20 days in County jail, then 30 days in work furlough (jail...but they let you out to go to work). Twice they sent a probation officer to my job to check that I was at work. I had never felt so low in all my life. My daughter was 3 years old, and I refused to talk to her on the phone from jail. I cried the first 2 days, then just sucked it up and got it done. I also lost my license for 6 months, then had an interlock on my car for 18 months. At the time, I thought I would never survive, but I did, and you will too! I know it seems larger than life right now, but it will pass, and you will come out stronger. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you strength.
:h
K9

[mama bear]

DUI update

everyone here is so dang sweet!!!

[Unwasted]

DUI update

Wow K9, I've never heard your whole story. I'm reading a book called The Interventionist. It's about a nurse who is now an interventionist.....her addiction was absolutely unbelievable. You certainly went through a lot yourself. She talks about how even when you love your kids more than anything in the world, you'll still do anything for the drugs.....even put them in harm's way. So, Star, it's the addiction.........don't beat yourself up......just get the help you need. For K9, it's Antabuse.........there are options out there if you can't do it on your own. :lilheart:

[nicelife]

DUI update

K9 - wow........... Seriously, you're a legend! Much respect to you girl..... (head bow happening)

Star, I've also had a DUI, lost the privilege to drive, lost my self worth and much, much more. BUT that was a while ago and even though it was pretty horrible wading through the shit I brought upon myself I survived. I'm different for the 'experiences' during my AL life and for that I'm glad.

Just put one foot in front of the other and try to stick your nose in the air and try to walk tall. I never managed the nose in the air bit and had no choice but to tentatively step forward. I had three little kids in tow and a good job I needed. My AL life was mostly secret to those outside my inner circle.

I get what you mean about wanting to be able to go back to bed.... I painted this saying over my bed because it was my sanctuary "to sleep, perchance to dream..." - part of Hamlet's soliloquy. I slept a LOT - when I wasn't up to no good boozing and causing chaos!!!!

Star, I think I'm rambling now, but just wish I could fix all your hurt, solve all your problems, lessen your pain and make sure you are feeling fine..... Yep, I've got the savior complex happening BIG time - LOL

Anyway, hugs, strength, peace, calm, comfort, chocolate, cake, custard - whatever it takes to get you through!!

Amanda :l

[K9Lover]

DUI update

Thanks Nicelife...I'm horribly ashamed of the DUI's, but I guess in a way proud that I was able to come out the other side fairly unscathed...and much, much wiser.

I don't want to tell too many DUI stories and scare Starfairy. MY horrid story is the result of 2 DUI's within a year of each other, AND an arrest for driving on a suspended license...so Star, please don't think that my experience is a reflection on anything you will have to endure. I was a dumbass over, and over, and over....and I paid dearly for it. You, on the other hand, will be able to get through your ordeal much easier, I am sure.

Stay strong,
K9

[starfairy]

DUI update

k9 i am so scared of losing my license. i just don't know what i would do. we don't have too much of public transportation here. i have 2 little girls to get around. i am ok with the limited driving that i will have to deal with if it comes to that...strangely my thought was "man, i won't even get to go to a movie at night" petty i know but that is something i love to do by myself. i tried to talk to my husband a little tonight. he still seems unaware that i feel like i have a problem. i just don't get it! we have been married 9 years and together 11. i cannot tell you how many times i have tried to be sober in that time because of really stupid stuff i have done while drinking. i frequent this site which he knows of (since 2008). i read so many books on alcoholism. i take supplements for drinking. i make up stories for my bruises, scars or sick days, etc...this is not stuff that a normal drinker does. i just really like who i am sober. i feel like the roller coaster is holding me back and keeping me from accomplishing my real worth in this life and experiencing all the great things that surround me. there is NOTHING good that comes from me drinking..NOTHING. i am actually looking forward to my 1st group meeting this saturday. i hope i feel comfortable enough to talk as open as i want. but for now i just want to have a good nights sleep. fingers crossed it will happen tonight. thanks so much for listening to me all this week. you all have been more helpful than you know. i am sincerely thankful.

[cpn1004]

DUI update

Starfairy,
Take it one day at a time or one moment at a time if necessary.
You can get through all of this.

[Nelz]

DUI update

starfairy;1259507 wrote: k9 i am so scared of losing my license. i just don't know what i would do. we don't have too much of public transportation here. i have 2 little girls to get around. i am ok with the limited driving that i will have to deal with if it comes to that...strangely my thought was "man, i won't even get to go to a movie at night" petty i know but that is something i love to do by myself. i tried to talk to my husband a little tonight. he still seems unaware that i feel like i have a problem. i just don't get it! we have been married 9 years and together 11. i cannot tell you how many times i have tried to be sober in that time because of really stupid stuff i have done while drinking. i frequent this site which he knows of (since 2008). i read so many books on alcoholism. i take supplements for drinking. i make up stories for my bruises, scars or sick days, etc...this is not stuff that a normal drinker does. i just really like who i am sober. i feel like the roller coaster is holding me back and keeping me from accomplishing my real worth in this life and experiencing all the great things that surround me. there is NOTHING good that comes from me drinking..NOTHING. i am actually looking forward to my 1st group meeting this saturday. i hope i feel comfortable enough to talk as open as i want. but for now i just want to have a good nights sleep. fingers crossed it will happen tonight. thanks so much for listening to me all this week. you all have been more helpful than you know. i am sincerely thankful.

Maybe try to imagine that each person in the room is one of us........Im guessing the more open you can be, the more you will get out of it.

Or picture them in their underwear!

[ThreeDogNight]

DUI update

Hi, SF.
I had a bad BAL, too. Try three times the legal limit and yet was coherent and wasn't even driving badly. So I understand what that means. I go to court on Monday. I expect to be without my license for at least a year, and who knows what else. Alcohol school--which I did for my first DUI, also--fines, lawyer's fees, etc. And the whole thing will be reported in the local newspaper. But I have to stay focused on the now, not the past. Saw my therapist today for the first time in a month, as she was on vacation. Told her how I have been calm for the first time in a long time and know that I have to accept whatever happens.
My husband was about to give up on me, and made it clear that this could never happen again. I had to go to rehab just to be away from everything and everybody, and it was the best thing I ever did. Your husband needs time--he feels let down, confused, and he can't trust you yet. May take a long time. My husband trusts me more now, probably because I couldn't get alcohol even if I wanted to. But I know that he is embarrassed that everybody knows my dirty little secret--even if they don't say it. (I drank alone, so nobody saw me in bars.) But I cannot change that.
I do take Paxil for anxiety now, and I haven't felt anxious or overwhelmed by things. I fall asleep quickly now an sleep better than I used to. Maybe you could get a prescription for something like Trazadone (not sure of spelling), which some of the people in my rehab took. Think you can become dependent on Xanax, but not with Trazadone. After my first DUI I couldn't sleep at all and relived the arrest every night when I closed my eyes.
Try to hang in and see about getting some counseling. Have you tried AA? I try to go five days a week. The court will probably order you to go. I really like the meetings. Nobody judges you and most have been through worse things than you.
Keep checking in here.
:lTDN

[Boh]

DUI update

Hey sending much support!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I was .17 about 8 years ago and I lost my license and paid a heafty 1200$ fine. I blamed everybody but myself... I learned to separate the acts of drinking and driving, and kept on drinking until a few months ago. I figured as long as I didnt drive drinking was fine. I drank and drank and drank for years until I realized AL was really my problem.

Stay positive you guys, you can beat this and overcome this stumble. I figure if you make an effort to admit AL is a problem and you are taking steps to recover, the judge will take that into consideration and probably cut a little slack. Just stay committed! You have found a great place with all of the support in the word.


boh

[ATLThrash]

DUI update

Star--I am just putting this out there and I hope it does not offend! Late in my drinking careeer my husband was always on me about having a "plan"-- in fact when you said that I just thought -- wow-- heard that before. I came to realize though that my husband's plan was not that I never drink. He wanted me to be like him-- can drink but not to exciess or to where I am an anxious headcase. He never understood me coming on MWO etc-- he just wanted me to fix it so I woudl mysteriously turn into him-- someone who could take or leave booze but who would not worry about it. Now mind you-- he can put it away but NEVER feels bad or guilty about that at all whereas I would wake at 3 in the morning in a panic after these episodes. I never had DUI but I have had the plan speech many times and not understood what he wanted. I have young child too-- I would say well do you want me to go to rehab? And the response would be-- God no-- you don't have "THAT kind of problem." as if yep-- I have a problem but surely it could not be one that required rehab like a drunk or for me to not drink. I went in patient for anxiety issues which i do think were huge for me-- and this was the only way he would accept it-- and while I think tha anxietyy was at the root of it-- I was a problem drinker in the end and had to have help. I feel for you. It is by the grace of God I never got a DUI. I think you are doing what you can. Good luck to you

[pizzaman1960]

DUI update

Hi Starfairy,
At the moment it will seem like the end of the world, but you can turnbad situations in to good,take all the help you can somethings will work others wont, none of us are beyond hope,if you can get of the drink each day you will grow stronger,buf if you keep doing what your doing you get the same old results everytime,none of us are perfect,we may be weak but when we all pull together we can reach new heights.Give it your best shot and never give up you worth it we all are good look best wishes Joe

[K9Lover]

DUI update

Star -
Just take each hurdle as it comes, I promise you will get through this. Just be determined that you will never go through this again. I hope you got a good nights sleep and feel a little better today. Just remember, no matter how bad you think it is, it could have always been worse (at least you didn't throw up on the Cop that arrested you...like I did).
Sending you strenth,
K9