DUI update

[starfairy]

DUI update

hi everyone..well it is sunday morning and i am sober. still have not drank since my arrest on feb 4th. this weekend was pretty hard because the weather was nice and for whatever reason that was a trigger. my husband stated that him drinking was no fun without me and doesn't want to buy anymore for the house. i have to admit i am bored without it right now. i have no motivation but i know it is just a phase. without a hangover i don't even sleep in so the days have been long. i go to court on thursday. i have been to 3 group meetings so far but feel like everyone is just there because they have to (court ordered) but everyone is really nice. i am in no way complaining about the way i feel because i know it is much better sober than drunk or hungover. i am just feeling mopey. i want to paint desperately but can't get myself in my room. it is like i can't function in there without my false self esteem. i am working on changing that. i have been eating like a horse. i am a health nut (though i overlooked my drinking) and juice 2 times a day but that has gone to the wayside. i guess i am filling a void. i have been eating things like chips, swiss rolls and apple pie. i am cutting myself some slack about it for now because at least it is not Alcohol. i know once i get over this hump i will jump back on my healthy bandwagon. i have now told everyone that i want to know about the DWI and it feels good to have a couple or people to talk to about it, but my husband did tell me that there is a local magazine with arrests and mugshots and he bought it to see if i was in there and I WAS! i hope to the universe that no one that i know sees it. i did not want to see it and told him to throw it away. my heart was beating so fast and i could fell that impending funk creeping back. i just want to thank you all for checking up on me. it really means a lot. :h

[Unwasted]

DUI update

Star, I've been watching for your post and just want to send you strength. You're sounding much better. I know things aren't perfect but you do sound on the upswing.

I think everything will work itself out if you just stick with being af -- the sugar, the embarassment, etc. Remember it absolutely could have been ANY of us and ANY of most people you know!

Please keep checking in :lilheart:

[ThreeDogNight]

DUI update

Hi, Star.
Just want to wish you luck at court tomorrow. Please let us know how it goes. I will say a prayer for you and will be thinking about you tomorrow.
:lTDN

[mama bear]

DUI update

Good Luck tomorrow Star!!

[LibraryGirl]

DUI update

Hi Star, and good luck with everything. I am new here, this is only my 2nd day, but thought I would share my DUI story. It was the year 2000, and my friend was really upset one night about something and was acting suicidal, so I decided I had to go and see her (30+ miles away). I knew I'd had too much to drink and I thought I'd finally made it to my destination without getting caught, but went through a stop light going 15 miles over the limit, and very quickly charged with DUI.

The officer who arrested me ended up being called to Iraq (he was also a soldier), and therefore wasn't present for my trial, so I was found not guilty. I totally looked at the situation/experience as a "drinking and driving" problem, not a drinking one. I went to the court-ordered classes, and passed all the tests, but inside I was thinking, this is not ME, I don't have a problem.

Well 12 years later, and there's no doubt in my mind (and some others) that I have a problem. I never drive after drinking anymore, but I am wrecking my body.

I'm not sure how sharing that helped, lol, but I am on day 2 and hopeful for a sober future.

Good luck to you!

[starfairy]

DUI update

well my trial was continued for march 22nd. i was told that was probably going to happen. i have been to 4 group classes now. i am trying to get what i can out of them but everyone is just really trying to kill time. there is a class on tuesdays that i can go to (for free) and they are more serious in that meeting. once i get closer to finishes my 14 mandatory classes i will start with those. i am now 20 days without a drink. this is the first weekend where my cravings aren't so bad. i do think i will smoke some weed though. i know many of you may look down on that but it is something i have always enjoyed but actually can take it or leave it, not like i am with alcohol. i have been trying to get in my art room a little this week to prove that i can paint without drinking and that has been going well. i am trying to rewire my brain and self esteem. so far so good. i have also been reading like crazy. how has everyone else been doing? i am afraid i am going to switch my addiction to something else and i am hoping and wishing i could make that happen geared toward exercise. how great would that be to claim i am a workout-a-holic!! have a great weekend

[Unwasted]

DUI update

Star, I've read a lot about cross-addiction and pot is definitely in the category. I'll have to try to find something to quote on it, but it's going to keep your alcohol addiction very alive. But, it's your life and I'm sure not here to judge....I would just recommend at least being aware of what it will do. To me, knowledge is power, and if you're going to smoke pot you should at least know how it will impact the alcohol addiction. But then I don't even know if you intend to quit drinking long term.

Actually, was able to find something pretty quickly online. I think I have a book that talks about it too, but here is the quote and link to an online site if you're interested.

Each of these behaviors triggers the same reward sites in the brain, resulting in cravings that are difficult to resist.

Understanding Addiction Transfer and Cross Addiction - Drug Addiction and Drug Abuse Center - Call For Help

Sorry your trial was continued - you probably hate having that hanging over you. But, I think it's really common and may be continued multiple times. Anyway, best to you - you're sounding better. :lilheart:

[choice]

DUI update

Hey there, just jumping in to support. I really wish you strength star in this. It so easily could be me writing these posts. I'm also an artist. I haven't been creating very much. I sorta took a break because I associated it with smoking and drinking.. I really need to get over that because I am really missing art in my life. I also use to smoke pot. I wasn't addicted to it either but I think I'd found some dependency for it. The thing is all these substances have (at least for me) an affect that makes me somehow not care as much. In someways it's good because I stop beating myself up.. but it opens doors to screwing up again... and keeps going around. I think your doing a really good job facing up to things. I'd try and avoid all the mood altering substance. I know why you want something... I think that's why I started exercising so much when I was first starting my AF journey.. I just needed something to feel good. I think your in the middle of changing your life and it's all so positive!!

[starfairy]

DUI update

unwasted-i know i shouldn't smoke so early on but they really have been seperate entities for me. it has never been a trigger . i actually would drink less when i smoked, if at all. i believe we all have an -aholic side. i do not want to be the drunk, the idiot of the party, the alcoholic mom, the constantly hungover and guilty woman. i do know that for sure!! i am really feeling great being without alcohol. i want so badly for it to stay this way but being human i know that i will still find a way to escape i just do not want it to be with that vice. i understand if you don't agree you have been so helpful to me during this and i am just trying to figure it all out.......

[starfairy]

DUI update

thanks choice...i really think i will end up enjoying the clear mind rather than the buzz....i have been able to focus and that is huge for me. i think i am scared of being completely clean because it is all i have known for so long. thanks for the words of encouragement! right now i am just so thrilled that i have had mulitple conversations with my neighbors without wondering if i made a fool of myself. i havealso been making early morning weekend plans because i won't be hung over or still binging. when the lingering feeling of the DUI aren't as present i am feeling pretty darn good about life. i just have to use these emotions as a good base and hope that i continue to improve.

[Jaxees]

DUI update

Starfairy- so much of what you wrote I connect with.
How old are yo? Approx. if you don't want to give an exact age.

I would think that by the time your court date comes you could have a huge list of your accomplishments with sobriety to show you you are taking this serious to the judge.

Is MED Mari legal where you are?

[starfairy]

DUI update

jaxees i am 37. not legal here as of yet.

[Unwasted]

DUI update

i really think i will end up enjoying the clear mind rather than the buzz

Star, I drank for decades - it was all I ever knew, but this is better. Give it time. Just my $.02.

[Doggygirl]

DUI update

Hi Star. So glad to read that you are working through this one day at a time. Congratulations on 20 days without a drink! That is really awesome. You can make that a great turning point in your life if you want to.

I interact face to face on a regular basis with lot of alcoholics and drug addicts - some still using and some not. The "track record" for what is commonly called the "marijuana maintenance program" is not very good. What may have been a secondary substance while you were still active with your primary substance might not stay that way with AL out of the picture. Another thing that people talk about is use of the secondary thing leading them straight back to the primary thing. I don't hear a lot of success stories.

The legal issue is another consideration. If you were to get busted with pot while you are on the court's radar for the dui, how will that affect you? I'm sure that varies by state and I have no idea. Maybe you have already considered that and checked it out. If not, you might want to just so you are fully informed and aware of possible consequences.

Whatever you decide on that front, I wish you well with your sobriety. It was very very hard for me to finally sober up, but my life keeps getting better and better now that I have. I see THAT a LOT. I hope that happens for you!

DG

[LibraryGirl]

DUI update

Interesting convo on the weed. I used to smoke it regularly, in my teens, but gradually lost the desire. I have occassionally smoked it through the years, but mostly not. My bf smokes weed regularly, and only drinks on rare occasions, and probably wouldn't at all if it weren't available. He says he is fine without drinking at all, since I am now quitting.

I do wonder if marijuana is as harmful as some people think. I have not seen evidence of that... But I am no expert.