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**lushy** · January 13, 2007, 04:08 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Roxy, totally relate!!! I have gained 10 pounds in the last couple of months after having kept off 30 pounds for over two years. Clothes that I was finally able to fit into are now tight on me and I said the same things to myself. I know it is lack of exercise, too many wine calories, and getting older. All I can say is we must get out and exercise instead of wallowing in self-pity. We are causing a cycle that is only going to get worse. Maybe set up a plan of how you are going to excercise this week and do it and see how much better you will feel. I plan on doing the same. Don't be mean to yourself!!! I will try and do the same. There are many worse things in life than being flabby and overweight. We can change this.....

**daisy** · January 13, 2007, 04:10 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Dont be so hard on yourself. I am not at the weight I want to be at either. I also wear the same clothes over and over again. I really dont like the way I look right now but my hubby is so nice to be about the way I look ,so that helps me thru it.
U have to stop punishing yourself. U can do this. Its very hard to stop drinking and very hard to loose weight,so its double hard to do both at the same time.
Keep your head up. U probalby think your weight is worse than it really is.

**betty boop** · January 13, 2007, 04:17 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Hey Roxy .....

You are a lovely person, we know that from your posts .........

I am also overweight from drinking too much, and wear the same clothes all the time .....

What is really important is the person on the inside, not outside .....

We all know and love that person, we see your hopes and fears, and anyone that judges you by your appearance alone is not worth having as a friend .....

We all love you, just as you are .........

Take care Love, Paula xx

ps sending you lots of love & hugs :h :l :h :l

**Java** · January 13, 2007, 04:21 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

well said paula!!!

**Beaches** · January 13, 2007, 04:21 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Roxy,
Oh yes I can relate. I hate shopping. I dread shopping. Whenever I have to go out and buy something for an outing I get totally stressed. I have gained weight and judge myself harshly while I try on clothes. I hate everything that I try on and it's a miserable experience.
THEN I came here and realized, yes I am overweight, yes I am doing something about it, yes I will lose the weight and yes I will be fine and YES SO WILL YOU. KEEP AT IT!!

**Lou** · January 13, 2007, 04:22 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

I can totaly relate to this thread...last nov i was lovely and thin, could wear skinny jeans and anything else i wanted an look good in them. The past month i have put on 12 pounds and nothing fits me...not even my pj's...but we have to put it in to perspective, stopping drinking is the most important thing...we can deal with the weight once weve dealt with the alcohol cause once weve beat that that we can beat anything....stick at it, we can do this. To use one of AA's sayings "nobody ever got stopped for fat driving!!!

Love

Lou-Lou x x

**Accountable for Me** · January 13, 2007, 04:28 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Roxy, I think our low self-esteem goes hand in hand with the drinking. We are so use to beating ourselves up with negative thoughts. You are retraining your brain to quit the drink, you will have to retrain your brain to re-love yourself. Weight is just weight... You are probably a beautiful woman inside and out - you just have to keep telling yourself that!

**stollies1** · January 13, 2007, 04:30 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Hi Roxy,
Honey I know just how you feel :upset:
You just have to be gentle and patient with yourself.When I first stopped drinking, I chose just to concentrate on getting my drinking dealt with and believe me I needed to but I had gained a massive amount of weight due to giving up a very physical job and drinking more and more through depression.I was the fattest that I had ever been and I have been battling my voices telling me whats the point of not drinking when your a disgusting ugly blimp you may as well just stay drunk and be happy with it.
I knew I couldnt keep thinking like that and my self loathing wasnt only because Im so fat now (I thought I was horrible, ugly and revolting at my thinnest: thanks to the help of amphetamine use for 2 years) but that I have these issues anyway and I have to learn to deal with them.
Giving up the grog has helped me to lose some weight and now I'm doing some gentle exercise to ease my self back into fitness and I used to be very fit once too! I was addicted to exercise at one stage a few years ago (now thats an addiction I could do with now.....:H ) but I just have to force myself to like myself or I wont make it through.I have gone and bought the bigger girl clothes and I buy pretty ones too.I can only "be" right now and I will just have to be patient and hopeful for soon to come and feel good within myself for working towards it.Be happy for what your doing to make yourself better, feel good for that alone and the rest will follow.Slowly maybe, but surely.
Love
Victoria xxoxxo

**Flip** · January 13, 2007, 04:32 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Hi Roxy,
I'm the fattest I've ever been and it's all due to drinking excessively. I too have had those moments in the dressing room and the absolute horror of seeing myself as I really am. It's like waking up one morning and some obese monster has taken over your body - THAT'S NOT ME!!!! I am still in there, trapped and judged.

It's a real cycle of despair. But, as I'm sure you know, if you do just ONE thing, everything else seems to follow. Concentrate on the wine problem - then, when that is a bit more under control, you can think more clearly about tackling everything else. It really is better to be fat and sober than fat and drunk.

Have you thought about getting some counselling? There are some good self help groups for both eating and drinking around (In Aust at least).

Big hugs to you darling..xxxx

**irishlady** · January 13, 2007, 05:57 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Roxy, I agree with Flip.....I was a good 20 pounds over weight because of my drinking.....When I stopped, the sugar cravings were so bad and they still are, I turned to chocolate and cakes.....I figured if I could quit the drinking first then it would be time enough to concentrate on my weight...Well that time is fast approaching only I keep moving the start date...For the last few months, if I'm not at work I'll wear tracksuit bottoms and baggy tops...Christmas was depressing for me as regards cloths, I did get dressed up on Christmas day but everything was too tight
on me...But I have decided to do things in stages, the first and most important one was to stop drinking, the weight will be next...I have decided to follow my own advice and do this in small steps , which, after all are better than no steps at all...You know it's weird but you rarely get the men worrying about their weight the way we do...Wonder why???

**Isew** · January 13, 2007, 06:03 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Roxy,

I understand. I hate the fact that we have a big mirror in our bathroom. I can't look at anything else...hate taking a shower.

I wear sweat pants and an x- large t-shirt every day. I only own one pair of jeans. I couldn't even try them on, just bought the biggest possible size I thought I could be. Imagine my chagrin when they fit.

Needless to say I never go anywhere.

I lost 50lbs the first time I went AF for six months, now I have about 65lbs to lose.

I think I'm going to try an eating plan with meetings to help keep me motivated. I'm new to MWO so I really hope it will work for me even if I don't lose the weight.

**Java** · January 13, 2007, 06:07 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

try cutting out one food that you eat that you feel you could give up, okay so i have a drinking problem, but i am an avid health nut (diet included) that will save you an average of 1000 calories a week , most people's one sinful food they cut out averages 200 calories a day, this means you will lose 1 and 1/2 pounds of fat a months by simply making a small change( 10-15 lbs in one year) not a drastic one to your diet, dont want to change your diet?? you can get the same result by walking for 30 minutes, or 2 sessions of 15 minutes or changing 4 elevator rides into 4 flights of stairs, hope this helps.

**momof2boys** · January 13, 2007, 08:00 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Oh Roxy from the posts I have read I think you are a beautiful, caring woman. I to am wayyy over weight, I never shop in stores i order from Sears cataloges, usually about 3 sizes of each item. I actually started going to Curves, because going to a gym with men and woman scared the sh*t out of me. Curves has a wonderful program for exercise and dieting the right way. I know they are all over the world. I did find it hard going there to exercise while I was hung over. But what I love about it is all the ladies are of different shapes and sizes, and I feel so comfortable ther.

Please keep saying to yourself " I am a beautiful woman inside and out"
Take care of yourself.
:l :h :h :l

**momof2boys** · January 13, 2007, 08:04 PM

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Also Roxy go back to your other thread about how great you feel on day 5 af. I think if you read that it might help you feel better.

:l :l :h

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