is there a supplement for self hatred?

[Roxy1234]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

New Girl
I had to respond to your post to let you know that I too have always been an avid fitness person despite the drinking. I even did a 1/2 Ironman triathlon -- carbo loading with a six pack of Heinekein each night:H

I looked and felt my best ever, despite the drinking. I think that is why I am having such a hard time with the way my body looks now. How crazy this all is. I guess I have figured out one thing and that is I can't have it both ways anymore! So I get to choose. Scary.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will take them to heart!

:l Roxy

[Roxy1234]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Momof2Boys,
I just went back and read that post. You are right. It made me feel much better...what a rollercoaster!

Thank you for your kind words

love,
Roxy

[Roxy1234]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Paula,
thank you so much for your kind words. You're so right...what matters is what's inside. Re other people's judgements, I know I'm probably not alone when I say it's not the harsh judgements of other people that are the problem; it's my own SELF judgement. So I really need to work at seeing myself through the eyes of the people who know me and who knows, maybe one day soon as I continue to make positive changes, I will begin to see myself the same way. In the meantime, I am thankful to have people on this board to keep me focused.

Flip,
"Cycle of Despair"...well that pretty much sums it up. I will try to start incorporating your "It is better to be fat and sober than fat and drunk." (hey, wouldn't that make a great recovery bumper sticker?) Re counseling, yes, I've had quite a bit of it. and I will probably go back once I have some good sober time under my belt. I realized when I was going that I was using "going to counseling" as a substitute for getting sober, always waiting for the counseling to "start working" while avoiding the obvious, and that is that before I am going to get anywhere with counseling, I need to stop drinking. Another vicious cycle!
Anyway, thank you so very much for your thoughts and support.

Irishlady,
You are right. Stages. One thing at a time. Small steps. It all makes so much sense. I guess if we didn't all have the all-or-nothing extreme gene, we wouldn't be on this board, huh ??

Isew,
50 lbs gone when you went AF!! Wow...that is incredible. I bet you felt great ! Call me crazy, but sometimes I think "feeling great" is the culprit! I know for myself that "feeling great" isn't my default setting. But punishing myself and not feeling good about myself is. So when I feel too good, I need to take myself back down a notch. You said you are new to MWO. I think if you follow the supps you will be pleasantly surprised at the way they help with sugar cravings. And I think the topo is known for it's weight loss side effect Best wishes to you as you begin, and thank you so much for your thoughts in this thread.

Victoria,
You wrote, "I have these issues anyway and I have to learn to deal with them." Yes...I came to that conclusion today. These issues were here long before my first sip of alcohol. Keeping them numbed all these years as kept me from being so acutely aware of them. I am amazed at how many women have posted in response to this subject, and it really helps knowing there are others in the same boat who are making their way through, so I really appreciate your thoughts and sharing your own experience.

THANK YOU EVERYONE...you are all so dear :h

love,
Roxy

[Roxy1234]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Lush,
You are so right about the exercise..and it wouldn't even take that much, just consistency. I am going to pick four days this week to exercise, and do it no matter what. Wanna join me and hold each other accountable?? I know that once I get started, it will feel so good that I naturally want to keep going back..it's just getting the boat turned around to start the course!

Let me know if you would like a cyber gym buddy to check in with

[irishlady]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Roxy, I owe you one big thank you....I have been re-reading all these posts in response to your thread and now I feel all fired up to go out there and do something about my weight....No more putting things off...

Thanks Roxy,
louise xxxx

[Olly]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Hey Roxy,

Great thread here. Ditto Irish lady... I"m off for a good huffing and puffing power walk. I get so frustrated with the fact that loosing weight is not and can not be an "instant gratification" fix. I'm so hooked on instant gratification. Going AF... boom... don't drink (although I know it's so much more than just not drinking and the real benefits will only come long term...) I get so gung-ho and fantatic about starting my exercise program, planning out my weight loss with diet and exercise, and last about 4-5 days... when , whew, I want to stop. Man, I can be sooo absolutely sure "this time" I'm gonna do it! Exercise 45 minutes every day and eat healthy (and believe me, I know all about eating healthy, low glycemic, lots of veg and some fruit, no processed, yadda, yadda, yadda...) Hm, I'm thinking I should be posting over in the fitness forum. I haven't been there in a few days as I've been "sluggin' it" for several days on end and am too embarassed! There, I said it.

Putting on walking clothes and going out. I'll be thinking of you all as I JUST DO IT in the cool, crisp, sunshine.

Olly

[Roxy1234]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Olly...yes! Instant gratification...I guess if we didn't all have that personality trait, we'd likely not have problems with alcohol. It is the epitomy of instant gratification. "I feel fat. I feel sad. I feel angry." Boom! A bottle 'a wine and no more feeling anything.

I am amazed at how much we all have to offer one another. A friend of mine who is in AA said one time that she gets so wrapped in figuring how to help other alcoholics, when really all she has to do is "show up" and typically there wil be some opporunity to do just that. All we have to do is be ourselves and be willing to give a voice to what we're going through and other people come out of the woodwork, experiencing the exact same thing

So in the spirit of showing up, since I have shown up here and seen that so many of you guys are going to be out exercising today, I'm going to hop on my bike and enjoy the beautiful weather!

:l
Roxy

[hidden_gem]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

And Rox...

Remember that you get what you think about! Remember that the universe doesn't hear the "don't" as in "I don't want to be fat.."

It's a tough one, but the first step is to love your body as it is now (I'm learning to do this!). Everytime you look in the mirror and don't like what you see - stop that thought and bless your body instead. Send it love. Send love to your body EXACTLY as it is.

And remember that your body looks the way it does today as a result of your past thoughts. And when it looks fantastic - it will be a result of your new thoughts.

Jumping on your bike in the beautiful weather is a brilliant idea... that way you can enjoy being outdoors and enjoy that feeling you get when you exercise... and you can be grateful for having a body that you can exercise!

Lots of love
Gem x

[Lotus]

is there a supplement for self hatred?

Dear Roxy

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have put on 3 1/2 stone (49lbs) over the last 5 years. I keep "putting off" buying myself new clothes as I keep saying to myself that I'll buy it when I get slimmer. Instead I wear the same clothes and most of my clothes are in black (as I think it's slimming). I hate it even more when I wear Indian outfit as they are tailoured specifically to be figure hugging.

My friend once said to me that if she asked me to think of my good and bad points I'd find it very easy to pick out the bad points about me. That is because we are our own worst critics. Next time you go shopping, take a friend/relative that you trust. Someone you know who will be honest. Sometimes certain clothes can hide all sorts of flaws.

In the meantime, keep a food diary and exercise. Don't criticise yourself, otherwise you will either start comfort eating, or go on a faddy diet.

I think there is a thread about weight loss and where we can all monitor each other's weight losses...this may help.

Mandy x