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    #31
    quitting for me

    Ginger, I'm a conundrum exactly like you in that I don't like to take anything yet was willing to drown myself in alcohol.......craziness! I didn't take the supplements for long, maybe a couple of months. Now I rely on healthy food (organic vegies mostly). Regarding sleep, just Google alcohol's effects on sleep and you'll be blown away. There are reams of information on how it disrupts REM sleep, which is critical to your well-being. Once you stop, your sleep corrects itself, or at least mine did. Now it's over-the-top fantastic and I wake up feeling refreshed and ready for anything that's thrown my way. I can cope......no feeling frazzled, strung out, exhausted, depressed.

    Hope everyone else is donig well....Caithness, Meggie, NC and anyone else visiting this thread today!

    Sending you peace and strength:lilheart:

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      #32
      quitting for me

      unwaster...I'm just logging in today. I spent most of my day online yesterday reading and getting familiar with the site. I got nothing done all day. I feel like a failure though. I wasn't very successful but I did not drank as much. I'm going to keep logging on and I have ordered some of the things I need, so I've decided to just not give up at this point. I have alot of reading to do and I know I need to make a change in a big way. I guess this is a starting point.

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        #33
        quitting for me

        NC, well you have to want it, and be sick of alcohol to be sure. At least that was true for me. The supplements, all the external stuff, isn't a cure-all. All those things help, but at the core of it all you really have to want to be sober. If you're not ready, you can at least start to understand what alcohol is doing to you. It took me a while to get committed. Wishing you the best! :lilheart:

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          #34
          quitting for me

          Unwasted...I do want it, but I'm also scared. Scared of failure, scared of what will happen to me if I don't quit, scared of the unknown. I want to be free from the control I know it has over me. I want to be healthy and happy without AL. I'ts really kinda weird because I feel like a happy person. So why do I do something that is so unhealthy for me? Why would I sabatoge myself in such a stupid way? Why am I the only one of my 4 siblings who have this problem. They all have drank before but never enjoyed it the way I did. I have a twin and she struggles with overeating, but she can take or leave the AL. But when I start, I don't quit and it's just disgusting to me. Tired of waking up in the mornings and feeling guilty about drinking only to find that my the evening I'm giving in again. I want the cycle to end. I'm glad I found the cite and hoping that it will help me. Thanks for your input. I've ordered the books, now I need to commit to the vitamins and such. Not sure what to do about the Topanax. Is there anyone to get it without going to the Dr. It's just gonna cost me that much more money and not sure if he would prescribe it anyway.

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            #35
            quitting for me

            NC, I hear you! It took me close to a year and a half to stop. I tormented myself mentally every day. For a long time alcohol wasn't an issue, but then suddenly it was. Something changed. By the time that happened I guess my brain had been rewired and like you every morning I would say "no more" only to sabotage myself by the evening. Looking back I can't believe the mental anguish.....always an excuse to start.....that never-ending battle. I still have days where I can't imagine not ever drinking. But, the memories come flooding back and I know I can't go back there.

            The only thing I can say is keep trying. I just kept at it....failed many times (two very serious attempts of 30 and 45 days). I don't say I have it licked, but I've come a lot farther this time. And somehow I'm able to retrieve those memories of how bad it was now. I can replay them in my head and know that not drinking is easier than drinking. Well, neither is easy when you get to the problem drinking stage, but I'm counting on sobriety getting better. It already has - still tough at times, but better. So I can tell myself that when I get a year I won't be as frustrated or wistful about not being able to drink. I can already see a big improvement, so I think that will continue.

            Don't be afraid of failing because it's the failing, starting again and failing and starting again that will finally give you the impetus to be successful. I read that over and over here. Just keep getting chunks of AF time because you'll start feeling better which in turn will enable you to get more time, and then suddenly you'll not want to go back.

            Just keep reading, posting, trying to change your routine, trying to put things in your life that take you away from alcohol.

            We're here for you, so don't be afraid.......you have people here who truly get it and won't judge you because we've experienced the EXACT same feelings and frustrations and failures. :lilheart:

            Re the Topomax - try River Pharmacy online. I just ordered Antabuse from them which I plan to use as a backup for vacations or particularly tricky situations. I haven't received my script yet, but I've heard good things about them, so I'm confident I'll get the shipment any day.

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              #36
              quitting for me

              Totally relate to all your feelings - needing a change. I'm only on Day 2 - but did get thru Day 1 (for the upteenth time) I've said Day 1 so many times I couldn't count them. I've said Day 2 qutie a few times also...but I haven't said Day 5 for years...so I am taking a baby step and going for it. Keep reading on her and you will get tons of support, encouragement, advice and the feeling - someone cares.

              Unwasted-have you used antibuse before? I have considered it. A couple yrs ago I went for counseling and they prescriped Campral...can't tell you if it worked...I couldn't stop drinking long enough to take it. I know if I took antibuse I wouldn't drink....I abhore being sick to my stomach. I could never go thru my dr....but am reluctant because of my BP, and other health issues plus interaction with other meds.
              Yesterday is experience, tomorrow is hope... today is getting from one to the other.
              GOAL 1 - 5 days AF
              GOAL 2 - 10 days AF
              GOAL 3 - 20 days AF
              GOAL 4 - 30 days AF
              GOAL 5 - Set new GOALS

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                #37
                quitting for me

                Unwasted...thanks for the encouraging words. If I'm understanding you right, the online pharmacy actually will prescribe medication for you? I'm going to get the Kudzu and L-Glutin and try that first. Someone had said that it worked for them, so worth a try. I would order online but I'm going to the health food store today to see if I can get it there. Would really like to start right away and not have to wait on the mail.

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                  #38
                  quitting for me

                  gingersnap...Im already feeling a little comforted that there are so many people who are dealing with the same thing. It's nice to be able to just talk about it. I can relate with so many people that are posting on here. In fact, I can't quit reading the post and then I get nothing else done. I have a show this weekend and may not be able to log on very often, but I'm going to try to get on at least once a day. I think this will help me stay focused on the goal and not get unconnected to people who understand and can encourage me. I'm thankful for finding this site. Have a good day.

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                    #39
                    quitting for me

                    Ginger and NC - yes I ordered Antibuse from River Pharmacy - no script is required. I'm not sure how that works, but I didn't question it because they have a good reputation here.

                    Ginger I've never taken the Antibuse but because I failed to stay sober twice when on vacation I thought it made sense to take it for that. However, I have no other health issues. In your case, I would ask a doctor because of your other issues - blood pressure, etc.

                    Antibuse can make you deathly ill if you drink while on it, so don't mess with it - you have to be very careful. You have to not have had anything to drink before by a couple of days I believe, and you have to not drink after you stop it (if you do) for quite a while....more than a week I know.........maybe longer.

                    The success rate is high with Antibuse. I read a statistic that 50% of the people who take it for a year remain sober. I plan to use it differently as I mentioned, but some take it every day for years.

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                      #40
                      quitting for me

                      help...

                      :upset:I am really tempted to have this beer. I am having trouble talking my self out of it, any suggestions?:upset::

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                        #41
                        quitting for me

                        You will regret it

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                          #42
                          quitting for me

                          Caithnessgirl -
                          Why do you have a beer in front of you?
                          Think of all the BAD stuff that happens with alcohol, and then decide if it's really worth it.
                          :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                          Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                            #43
                            quitting for me

                            Caithness, here's why you shouldn't drink it:

                            I.m new here and desperatley trying to quit drinking.
                            ....your first words here!

                            If you really want to quit, you'll just start the whole process over again and then have to stop. Most people think it keeps getting harder.

                            Go take a nice, warm shower or bath, grab a book, watch something mindless on TV....

                            :lilheart:

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                              #44
                              quitting for me

                              unwasted,
                              Just finished reading the book "No Way Out" Wow, I can so relate to all of it. Now I need to order all my stuff and try out the River Pharmacy online. Have not been on here in probably a week. Nothing has changed, but I'm feeling very encouraged after reading the book. Just gotta do it and get all the things I need to help me. Doing it alone is certainly not working for me.

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                                #45
                                quitting for me

                                Unwasted,
                                I'm reading back thru the post and trying to figure out how to get Topomax. I may have spelled that wrong. Anyway, when I click on River Pharmacy it will not connect. After reading the book this weekend, I feel that I should probably add this for my best chance of success but I really don't feel comfortable going to my dr. and we do not have insurance to help with cost. I also do not want this to be an excuse for not getting started on the program. Do you think ordering the starter kit with the CD and supplements will be a waste of my time if I can't get the Topomax? Thanks for your help. You are the only one I have really started a conversation with although I've been reading thru many of the post. So much information sometimes its overwhelming. Have a wonderful day and I hope to hear from you.

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