Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

[ava]

Hello everyone, I was here early last year and quit after a grand total of 4 days AF. Definitely not one of my greatest accomplishments. Anyway, I've been trying to moderate as much as I can. Today I just got home from doctor and blood pressure is way to high. So now I am scared.

I AM going to quit drinking because I am an alcoholic and am killing myself. I've been drinking for many years. Therefore, I know how hard the next couple weeks are going to be.

If anyone has any advise that you would care to share, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks you in advance.:helpme:

[Unwasted]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Ava, welcome back. Sorry you're having health issues, but maybe the silver lining will be your being able to get off the alcohol roller coaster. We can all sure relate.

Here are some thing that helped me - I just had my 90 day AF anniversary:

Reading the book Kick the Drink by Jason Vale (changed my perspective about alcohol)
Eating very healthy food - mostly vegies
Juicing vegies
Walking or jogging almost every day
Reading voraciously about addiction - here and in books
Finding t.v. shows I like.........they really are a great distracter from alcohol
Avoiding trigger places, bars, dinners out at first (strong association with drinking and eating out for me)
Reading and posting here A LOT
Meditation
Newbie's Nest
Toolbox (1st tab under Monthly Abstinence)

Hope that helps......:lilheart:

[Lavande]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Welcome back Ava,

Glad you decided to check in with us!
You can get your B/P under control pretty quickly but you have to do the work - I did
Are you on any medication?

Take a look at this: DASH Diet Eating Plan
That's the best way to get your B/P under control quickly.

Losing excess weight, getting some exercise & eliminating AL are all necessary. Not easy but completely doable.

Come join us in the Newbies Nest for more support!

Lav

[Jolie]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

:welcome: back Ava!

I remember you from last year (as you can see, I'm back as well). Went 4+ months and slowly worked my way back to where I had been. Feeling very positive this time and if I can do it, you can too!

Best advice I can give is to get all the alcohol out of your house. Why tempt fate? Find a new favorite "witching hour" drink to replace the alcohol with. I'm taking 5-HTP and I truly believe it's helped my mood and general outlook. Your sleep may be affected as well. I take Melatonin before I go to bed and am sleeping fitfully thru the night - believe me, haven't done that in years!

Good luck to you and hope to see you over in the nest!

[ava]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Thank you!! Thank you! Thank you!

[ava]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Thanks, I'm going to get that book today.

[caper564]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

HI Ava,
I am sorry to hear about your blood pressure. But they say everything happens for a reason. and now you are here and quitting AL. Good for you, you have managed 4 days in the past (that WAS a great accomplishment) the first few days was the worst for me. I chose to go with Ativan to help me sleep... without it i don't know how i would have gotten through. You may want to go to a clinic or your DR and see about getting some sleep aid.
stay on this site and read read read... that was the ONE biggest thing that pushed me to quit. hearing the stories that were so similar to mine and knowing i was NOT alone. I read storeis that made me laugh outloud and cry. i saw myself in each and every horrible tale ... it was eye opening. I thoguht i was the only one that was hiding bottles and driving drunk and making an ass out of myself at family and office gatherings... OH and all the other much more horrible embarassing things.. I WAS NOT ALONE... and that was what i needed..

I hope this helps
caper

[caper564]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

hi ava, you ahve posted twice so make sure you check both threads

[ava]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Thanks for the support. I WILL make it this time. I think I will ask about the sleep aid. I can't even remember the last time I had to do it without alcohol.

[caper564]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

ava;1263306 wrote: Thanks for the support. I WILL make it this time. I think I will ask about the sleep aid. I can't even remember the last time I had to do it without alcohol.

I'm hear ya sista... sleeping was the worst part for me... I hadn't gone to sleep totally sober in years.... the ativan was a god send..

[K9Lover]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Hi Ava and welcome back!
I remember you from before and am glad to see you back. All we can do is never give up, so it's a good sign to see you are still willing to fight for this. We know this is not east, but it CAN be done. Unwasted had some good suggestions for you, I know I've taken a lot of her advice and it works. Keep yourself busy and immersed in other activities the first few days. I still read everything I can about addiction and recovery. I come to MWO everyday. Most importantly, start working on how you view alcohol, and realize you are not "giving up" anything, well nothing good anyway. Once you start seeing alcohol for the poison that it really is, it gets much easier to be thankful it's out of your life. Please stick around, keep posting and let us know how you are!
K9

[jenniech]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

I am back again.....i feel very much like I am using alcohol as a crutch for all the pressure i am under at work....on january 5 i was 5 days AF when i went out to a business function. I told my friends that i wanted to see how long i could not drink and see if i could lose weight that way....but they talked me into it. Saying, you work so hard, you deserve to relax with a glass or two of wine. So, sitting at that fancy bar with top shelf delicious wine only an order away, i folded. Ended up getting blind drunk. At home, at some point I don't remember, i must have been going downstairs for something. Feet slipped from under me and down i went on my back. I was on the couch for 10 days with excruciating pain and muscle spasms. Didn't drink during that time until it was toward the end when I decided that since i could go that long, then i could pick and choose what nights I drank. Couple of weeks later, and I am back to a bottle a night and then some. Friday night: went out with very close friends and got blind drunk again. Did not injure myself, but the next day my friend emailed me saying: "Please let me know you are ok...." I could sense the concern and wondered what I did or said to make her so worried. I have absolutely no memory.
WAKE UP CALL. So, saturday night, depressed and incredibly hungover, I read a post by timpin that said you had to have a PLAN. So, I read a bunch of stuff, ordered the jason vale book and starting ready a book written by the guy who runs Passages in Malibu. Decided my plan was to have that one last bottle of chardonnay in the house. Still depressed and sad about my drinking but determined to go through with my "plan". Was sitting to dinner with glass of wine - the last one in the bottle and somehow, I knocked the full glass over and broke it. No more wine and broken glass all over. I think that is a fitting way to end this nightmare. Going to an AA meeting today. I know I should feel psyched and happy but i really just feel sad, depressed and out of control.....and if you actually get to this part of my post, thank you...I just really wanted to write this down to try to get this weight off my chest.

[Unwasted]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Jenny, I've been wondering about you. It seems that something obviously has to change if you're going to have a shot at sobriety because you've been here a long time trying. But, it sounds like you're serious about putting a plan into action if you're going to an AA meeting. There are always going to be things in our lives that make us want to drink. So if we want to beat this awful addiction we have to work super hard at the beginning until things start falling into place. Otherwise we become chronic relapsers and each time we try to stop it gets harder.

I think AA is a great idea........what do you have to lose? From what I can tell you'll either get a good group that can really help you, or you can just not go if you hate it. But, one thing seems certain - you have to do something different.

You sound determined, and I really hope you can do this. I'm coming up on 100 days and I can't tell you how much better being sober is. You won't believe it, really, if you can just stay sober for a good chunk of time. Things will start to turn around but you've got to stick with it. Ride out the cravings, go to a doctor, AA, exercise, eat well, minimize all the stress in you life that you possibly can, you know the drill.

Have you considered Antabuse? Why don't you read around the site about it......many here are having success with it.......or even Balcofen? I would be open to any of that if I couldn't swing this on my own. So far I am, but if I had to I'd certainly go that route.

Anyway, wishing you the best. You won't regret walking away from alcohol.........it's only making your life miserable. :lilheart:

[mylife]

Starting AGAIN. THIS TIME I have no choice.

Ava - glad to see you back here. I remember you too! You can do this!

Jenny - think of your experience as a blessing in disguise to get you AF once and for all.

I have been coming to this site for over a year and I'm determined to do everything I can to achieve an AF life. I've been re-reading Jason Vale's book over the weekend and it is really clicking with me this time around. I can especially relate to how "unfun" AL really is. Jenny, I think it will really click with you as well after your recent experiences.

Good luck with your journey! :l