I scare myself

[wenzalc]

I scare myself

Oh gosh! U cld even get past day 9!! so proud of u Roxy! Dun worry about the slip. It's normal. Wine is still ok. Just dun do liqur like i do. I'm only in day one of abstinence and I'm already dying. My fingers now as when I'm typing the kepboard is DYING to get that vodka from the closet. sobs. Hang in there Roxy!

[betty boop]

I scare myself

Wenzalk

You hang in there too

Love & Hugs to keep you going :h :l :h :l

[Roxy1234]

I scare myself

you are all so wonderful

Good morning everyone.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the incredibly supportive, encouraging words. This path is not easy but it certainly is filled with kind and loving friends to walk with.

Paul, if it makes you feel any better, I had the same thoughts about the drink tracker And then I realized that even if I filled in 0's like nothing had happened, I would still be lying to MYSELF, and its my relationship with myself that I am trying to improve and value. Its myself I am trying to not hate. And lying is at the root of the self hatred. Like you, I am ashamed of even thinking about lying, but having those thoughts has made me realize the depth of shame that I am carrying around about my drinking problem.

We both have a decent number of sober days now as a reference point. I loved being able to sleep well and wake up feeling optimistic about the day and my life in general. For the past three days that I have drank, that feeling is gone. It's unbelievable how quickly feelings can turn around because of a bottle. But today is a new day and I am starting over for all of the same reasons I started last time.

Thank you so much for being honest. It is a relief to know that I am not the only one who struggles with shame and has thoughts of doing everything but be honest to hide it.

And thank you, once again, everyone here, for your kind and loving support. It means the world to have one safe place to come and practice being honest and to know there is no judgment :h

love to you all,
Roxy, Starting Day 1

[Popeye]

I scare myself

Hello Roxy

You expressed the waty I feel exactly. Thanks.
It's Monday morning now. I didn't realise it, but yesterday I was a big bundle of nerves all day. Only after a good nights sleep have I realised how tense and agitated I was. My stomach's been in a knot all weekend. I'm still angry with myself for drinking. I hope this passes.

wenzalc
How you doing?

[Roxy1234]

I scare myself

Well, funny you should mention feeling tense and agitated yesterday. that's how I felt too. But today my perspective has completely shifted. I went to bed at 8:30 and slept until 6:30 (L-Tryptophan is a great sleep inducer). I am doing my best not to beat myself up over the three-day lapse and focus on moving forward towards the ultimate goal of permanent and PEACEFUL abstinence

Try not to be too hard on yourself, okay??? You had an awesome sober streak, which means you can do it again We may have succumbed to one of the battles, but that doesn't mean we've lost the war

hug to you!
Roxy