I have been here before. I've stopped and felt great! When you stop and life is going good you start thinking I can have just one drink and be ok, then one turns to 5!!! I've made so many more mistakes this time around than the last!! I am a binge drunker. I can go weeks or months without drinking but when I drink its like I cant stop until im at blackout mode! I've hurt myself and others!! A friend told me "i always give you a 2nd chance because i think this time she will have learned from last time and not drink so much and be ok" he said "but u aren't ever ok!" it it hurt but so true. I've been stress eating and drinking lately because of tons of problems! I need help. I called to places asking for help and they all cost $$ that i dont have. I've ordered the books n supplements, something I thought I didn't need before. I am hurting, sad, alone, in need of help.
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Hi Okkslady - and sorry you're hurting and feeling lonely :l. I'm sure many of us here on the site can relate to saying and doing things when drunk and then hoping for forgiveness and promising not to do it again - to then do exactly that! But it's the alcohol - not you. I almost lost my lovely husband several times over the years and have begged and begged for another chance - yet here I am still spoiling our lives with my terrible addiction, which in his words 'changes me from a beautiful, loving women, into a monster spewing filth from my mouth!' I'm certainly not proud of myself either - and I've been through a few difficult times recently which have also made me reach for the bottle. But do you know - it just makes things worse and makes life feel even more depressing.
I know I've said it numerous times before - and failed everytime - but today is my first day AF - I've even posted it on my signature (I've never done this before, because I always believed I would fail). Do you want to join me?Never put off to tomorrow what you can achieve today! -
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Oh hon. Well, you're in the right place! Come over to the Nest (see Newbies Nest thread) - lots of us over there. I just did 9 days, then fell off the wagon last night. So I'll be on day one with you.Comment
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Hi Willow
I want to start day one today and participate in a thread - is the newbies nest the best place to be?Never put off to tomorrow what you can achieve today!Comment
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I know exactly what you are saying. I can go for months without a drop, feeling great and then one VERY bad decision causes me to reach for "just one" glass. It leads down an ugly, guilt ridden road. It's not easy but worth the work. Please read, post, re-read. There are very inspiring stories and a wealth of info. The first 3 days are rough but you can do it!!!!AF since 2/22/2012Comment
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willow and snap I will join you guys in the nest on day one.Comment
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Snapdragon - yeah, it's good when you're just starting out. Lots of support and advice. See you over there!Comment
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Welcome Piper too xComment
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day ONE AGAIN for me too!!! My binges are binges but different. I will go without drinking for a week. Then, I have a couple of beers with dinner. Next night, a bottle of wine. The night after that, 2 vodkas and then a bottle of wine. Then i wake up so hungover i can barely move. So, i stop drinking for another week and the vicious cycle starts all over again. Last two nights were one bottle of wine each night. I feel fat, depressed, tired, unmotivated, inpatient....so what is the booze doing for me??? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. So, DAY 1 again for me......I just won't anymoreComment
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Great Willow, Piper and Jenni (remembering everyone's name is going to be a challenge for me, I can see!) I've just squeezed myself a space in the nest so look forward to seeing you all there too.
Day one for us all - we can do it!!Never put off to tomorrow what you can achieve today!Comment
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I'm binger to can go for weeks months, everything falls into place, then the head goes I take a drink on my own and cant stop for 2-3 days cause I am so disgusted with myself again and can't face all being lost again. Its a bad habit I've been at for 2-3 years, been given so many chances, and that's the hard one, I knowit shouldn't matter but its trying to have a bit of hope/faith that people will believe n u and be in your life again. If I could feel that hope inside I could go off get on with it and look after myself for a while
I really want this, there's a few of us in it Ive 10 days over me, so lets pull together"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"Comment
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Hi Okkslady,
I remember you from a while ago...I am glad you are back! I know how hard this is...I struggled for years. I'd stop, start, stop, start...ugh the back and forth gets so tiring! I'm sorry you're feeling sad and lonely, I felt that way too towards the end of my drinking. I always drank by myself, at home. The seclusion I brought upon myself made me very depressed and I just stopped caring about so many things. I have quite a bit of sobriety time under my belt now, and while it hasn't been easy at times, it's SO much better than it was before. I know you can do this. I'm glad you are with us again, we're happy to help and support you. Please stick around!
K9:heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:
Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.Comment
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K9Lover I love to see someone ith their sign up as happy
"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"Comment
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Welcome back. You can do this!!!!Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the know to the unknown."
Author Unknown :h
AF - Sept 4, 2012
10 days - Sept 13, 2012
2 weeks - Sept 17, 2012
Slip on the weekend but tried too moderate!
AF - Sept 24, 2012 (get back on the headaches not worth it)
Slippery slope Oct 1 ..... Trying to not give up!
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hello everybody!
I am so thankful that you all know what I am dealing with. Hello K9!! I remember you as well and recognize some other names too. Man, this past couple months has been the worst for me!!! Binge drinking and doing things I would NEVER EVER think about doing while sober and in my right state of mind. I've felt sluggish slow and cloudy. I feel heavy and weighted down. My face is bloated, my mother pointed that out to me. It has been 3 days since i last drank and when i think back on the night it wasn't even fun. I started dating another alcoholic a year ago. He has to have a drink everyday. Im not saying he is worse than i or im any better...we both had our problems. We wouldn't see each other daily but when we did i always felt like i had to keep up with him. My tolerance was lower than his and id always end up being out of control. He stopped seeing me out of the blue but i think it was a blessing in disguise. I have a 10 year old who is never around when i am drinking but he does see the after effect of me sleeping on the couch and being depressed. My son was diagnosed with a neurological condition in Sept that has turned our world upside down!!! To escape i would go have drinks with friends which would always turn out with me doing something terrible and total regret the next day. I ask "how many chances is God going to give me?" I want a chance...i want this to be the one i am successful at!!Comment
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