again!! starting again

[okkslady]

again!! starting again

I alwys feel so thankful to all who post and respond to me. I need your help and support. It means alot! so to BOUCHARD, SUGARBEAT, SNAPDRAGON, WILLOW, ALMOST FAMOUS, JENNIECH, K9
THANK YOU...if anyone posts after this or if I missed anybody know that I am greatful.

[choice]

again!! starting again

Hi okkslady,
I remember you too! :l I'm glad your back. I was doing really well.. then I had a little slip and got right back here because I know I like my sober life so much better! It's kinda a hard thing to come to terms with that we can't drink. Blackouts and shame were some of my main reasons for quitting. I hear you on sleeping on the couch.. :l
Take care and keep posting.. from what I remember you are really good at getting your thoughts out and from what I know it helps to write and read here in MWO. :h

[okkslady]

again!! starting again

CHOICE!! hello!!! I so remember you and great to hear from you!!! So far it has been 5days with no drinking...your support does help! Thanks so much n see ya around the message boards

[choice]

again!! starting again

Hey! :goodjob: on the 5 days lady!

[K9Lover]

again!! starting again

Okks-
Good job on day 5! The first few days are the toughest, as you know. My daughter also saw the effects of my drinking...laying on the couch all day, sprinting to the bathroom to dry heave, headaches, always being "sick". I'm ashamed that she saw it, but I'm proud that I don't do that anymore. You will get there too...just hang in there, take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Life without alcohol is good. Remember how much you have to live for and don't let alcohol steal it from you. Fight back, you are stronger than the beast. You CAN do this!
K9

[Pocket]

again!! starting again

Okks--this is super tough, but you're doing it! And you've got three days on me! I know what you mean about your son seeing the effects of your drinking. I've been "sick" or cloudy-headed so many times. It makes me physically ill to think about. I love my daughter so much, and I think she is the number one reason I know I have to stay AF. I want her to look back and have good memories of us together, and I am definitely not the mom I need/want to be when I drink. I feel like I have even avoided spending quality time with her sometimes because I didn't want her to notice how "not right" I was after a bender, and because I felt so ashamed and guilty.

I also relate about the partner who drinks. My ex-partner had an affair almost two years ago, which is why I originally started drinking heavily. She felt terrible about it (not terrible enough to stop, but...) and went through some kind of emotional crisis and has been a heavy drinker ever since as well. Not as bad as me. I mean, she didn't have loads of time during the day to take shots of 90 proof rum and throw the little airplane shooter bottles angrily at the garage wall, which I did at the time. Plus I'm a tiny girl. Now, though, she drinks heavily 3-4 nights a week and drinks at least a few beers every night.

Plus, we stayed together for a while after the affair, and we were both miserable. The only good times we had after that involved alcohol. And the worst times we had after that involved alcohol. It was just a part of our life together.

Anyway, I may not be having great success with my path to sobriety, but that's my path, and even that makes me feel tons better than when I was in that situation. I'm glad not to be with her anymore, and I do think that having a relationship with a heavy drinker makes it pretty impossible to take control of one's own drinking.

Good luck!