Who Am I?

[Miklo]

I have been AF for 13 days and am finding it difficult to find myself. I was a fully functional alcoholic, drinking touched every aspect of my life. Every activity, every chore, EVERYTHING I did was done while I was drunk. Now when I go to do something, anything, I am reminded how I need a drink to do it. Everything is a trigger for me, everything. On top of that, I still dont feel normal, like something is missing. For the most part, the physical symptoms of withdrawl are gone, like the shakeing and so forth. But the psyscological symptoms are still in full force. I dont know who I am. My old lady notices a great change in my attitude and general outlook, but I still dont see it. I want to drink. The old lady wants me to drink moderatly, she will have a glass of wine probally twice a month and she had one last night. Wine isnt really my thing, but if it gets me drunk I will drink it. Damn it looked good, but I told her it was ok to drink it in front of me. Now I am just rambeling, bottom line is I dont know who I am anymore, life is a trigger to drink...

[Nelz]

Who Am I?

Miklo;1274602 wrote: I have been AF for 13 days and am finding it difficult to find myself. I was a fully functional alcoholic, drinking touched every aspect of my life. Every activity, every chore, EVERYTHING I did was done while I was drunk. Now when I go to do something, anything, I am reminded how I need a drink to do it. Everything is a trigger for me, everything. On top of that, I still dont feel normal, like something is missing. For the most part, the physical symptoms of withdrawl are gone, like the shakeing and so forth. But the psyscological symptoms are still in full force. I dont know who I am. My old lady notices a great change in my attitude and general outlook, but I still dont see it. I want to drink. The old lady wants me to drink moderatly, she will have a glass of wine probally twice a month and she had one last night. Wine isnt really my thing, but if it gets me drunk I will drink it. Damn it looked good, but I told her it was ok to drink it in front of me. Now I am just rambeling, bottom line is I dont know who I am anymore, life is a trigger to drink...

13 days is remarkable, but what Id call still in the infancy stage. You are clearly not going to return to normal overnight, what you are experiencing, everyone experiences.

Yes, at first you will have those triggers....I did....but when you start getting more AF days under your belt, they arent as prevalent, and they get easier to dismiss.

Just because YOU dont notice changes, doesnt mean they arent happening, if your S/O notices, then that should be a positive thing for you.


Life is a trigger to drink...LMAO....I felt the same way, I love that line. Just fight off the urges, and believe me when I tell you....it aint easy, but it is worth it, and it WILL get easier.

[LibraryGirl]

Who Am I?

Miklo, I am on day 12 and still adjusting as well. I didn't do everything drunk, as I only drank at night (except for the occasional holiday), but I was used to spending my entire evening with a drink, and everything I did was accompanied by alcohol. It has been a lot to relearn.

You may need to work through some of the psychological reasons that you drank. Just taking the alcohol away does not take away the hurt, and if you don't get some help or work through it, the alcohol will seem like the only way out. I also need some counseling, or something.

Hang in there, and keep us posted. This journey is not going to be easy, but that's why it's so rewarding.:l

[choice]

Who Am I?

Hi Mikio, :goodjob: for the 12 days!! and sticking with it. Your doing great. It is strange to start an AF life, I think it feels really surreal hitting all the milestones. Your almost at 2 weeks.. I bet you'll even feel different by then..

I understand everything being a trigger when drinking becomes such a huge part of everything you do. It makes since. I'm really impressed by your efforts and post.

I'm not sure if your girlfriend is inspiring this change? It sounds like she is a normal drinker which is great! The thing is.. you need to give yourself a break.. I'd tell her maybe that during the first 30 days you really want the best chance to accomplish this goal. It's hard enough to do it without watching someone enjoy 1 glass. She's done with the glass.. and forgets about it.. your still thinking about it.. It's tough! Way to ride that one out!

[Almostfamous]

Who Am I?

Miklo- I'm married to a man like your significant other. He barely drinks. I know from the past that I can not just enjoy that one drink as it eventually leads to the entire bottle of wine. I commend you for staying strong. That's great that she already noticed a positive change in your personality. This is a day by day process on re-training your brain. Don't give up!