Back Again???

[juliej15]

I started MWO on June 12, 2006 and made it 74 days completely AF. Then one night the stress got to me and I figured I could have a drink or two or maybe drink for a week or so and then quit again. Guess what....I haven't quit.

Now my whole family knows about my "problem" as well as several of my friends. Rarely does anyone say anything to me about it but the looks of worry and concern are there. They all want me to quit and I know I SHOULD but I don't know if I really WANT to. I know I am not doing myself any favors by continuing to drink but my poison of choice (Chardonnay...Mr. C as I like to call him) has somehow intwined itself into my life to the point where I am terrified to let him go. I did it for awhile last summer but to a certain point I felt like I lost a big part of my identity. I have always been the party girl...who am I if I am not that person anymore? How on earth do I begin to redefine myself at the age of 41 when I don't know who I am without a glass of wine?

Doesn't this just sound crazy and like I am looking for pity. How can I be a victime of a bunch of grapes???

[obzpodboy]

Back Again???

Hi there. I all sounds perfectly sane to me. I can absolutely relate to the fear of a loss of identity. If you've been Led Zep all your sentient life, how can you feel enticed by the prospect of becoming Cliff Richards? However, I'm fairly sure no-one posting on this site is out for pity or even sympathy. A little understanding maybe. Certainly one or two answers to questions such as: Why do we do this to ourselves when we know the (often harmful) effects?? Huge congratralutions though for making it over two months AF. It shows you are more than capable of abstaining for a fairly lengthy period. I'm pretty new to this sort of on-line group (I was fairly happy in the denial of my drink problem for years), but it seems to be absolutety without piousness or unsolicited judgements. Kepp posting and best of luck.

[shitzulover]

Back Again???

Hi, I am a victim of the grapes myself....and my WHOLE family know as well...fun hah? I have been AF now for over 42 days.... If you did it before you can do it again. But, if need be just cut down....maybe just the wekends now and then work on eliminating that all together. Whatever works. THis is a sneaky disease...so if your family is concerned it must be serious. I have been a party girl myself...but now trying to tone it down. I am 42 now and need to knock it off! Your not going to lose your identity...but find another side of yourself and get to know it....it sounds kinda corney but also kinda fun! Good luck to you on your journey...

[Mayi]

Back Again???

Hello
I know the feeling. I want to be able to cut down and some weeks are better than others but this disease is tricky. I have days when physically I don't feel like drinking and even thinking about makes me want to be sick, but mentally I give in and feel awful physically and mentally. The important thing is not to give up. I also want to say that being AF for over a month is a big accomplishment so don't forget that. If you did it once, you can do it again. Just be careful because when we accomplish something we need to reward ourselves so we need to find other rewards that don't involve drinking. Thank you for sharing your experience we learn from each other. Be well. Mayi

[hidden_gem]

Back Again???

Hi,

74 days... what a fantastic achievement!

You know what... I know you said you're not sure if you really want to give up... but I think a big part of you must want to... otherwise you wouldn't be back here.

And it doesn't sound like you are looking for pity... I certainly know what it's like to be a slave to Mr C!

Gem x

[Rocky]

Back Again???

I guess not knowing if you want to quit is the key.

I read a post here to day and "Changling" put the following quote on it here it is:

Few words from the Alan Carr book that I want to share

"Four things that you can't have too much of
Time, energy, love & money
Alcohol ravages all these things
When you stop drinking you will have so much more of each of these valuable commodities.
Spend them wisely on activities that give you genuine pleasure."

This really hit me. I'm robbing myself of these things...Makes me want to quit!!!

Hang in there...Start over... don't give up!

[juliej15]

Back Again???

Thanks all for the kind words and understaning. I am "gearing up" for round 2. Buying my supps, dusting off the CD's, refilling my topamax prescription. Maybe by a week from now I will have a few AF days under my belt!!

[fairweathergirl]

Back Again???

hi julie
I have been reading a book called Overcoming Problem drinking by Marcantonio Spada
the author talks about filling the gap left by not drinking by actively spending a hour a day doing something enjoyable - , exercise relaxation techniques, watching a film, taking up a new hobby etc.
I got the book on amazon uk it seems good
hope it goes well for you - you did brillantly with 75 days AF
Karen