Nervous about joining but know I need help

[workingitout]

Hi all. I've been reading your posts for quite some time and finally decided to join in. Sadly, I hate to admit I'm writing while drinking. Tonight was supposed to be quit night but as usual the demon gave me many reasons why tonight "could be the last". My question to all of you is how did you finally get to to the point where you could stop, if even for a few days? It's amazing how our resources can be so strong in the morning when we feel like crap and change so much as the day goes on. Why is that late afternoon/evening period so hard????? I have the book, CDs (which I can't seem to find the time to start b/c I"m drinking). The supplements I try but seem to have a hard time remembering to take. It's funny, because I smoke, and I never forget a cigarette. Guess the question is, how do you finally kickstart this? I'm so extremely tired of waking up feeling terrible, hiding this from loved ones, and just plain feeling worthless.

[kitkatsue]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

I wish I knew what to say I'm not doing so good myself. I'm planning to go to the hospital tomarrow. so I can detox safely. I hope you feel better soon !!!!

[Empty Glass]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Working it Out

My question to all of you is how did you finally get to to the point where you could stop, if even for a few days? It's amazing how our resources can be so strong in the morning when we feel like crap and change so much as the day goes on. Why is that late afternoon/evening period so hard?????

You really nailed me with the part about how we feel remorse in the morning and as the day progresses we can't wait for another drink! I was so hung over today but by the end of the day I picked up a couple of bottles of wine and a bottle of rye.

I did stop for four days while my wife and I were doing a cleansing diet. I felt great! But I sure couldn't wait until the `deadline' was over so I could have a drink. And of course I drank too much and felt horrible the next day! It's quite a demon that we fight. If you learn any tricks let me know! Good luck to you!

[workingitout]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

hMMMM. Started writing and lost all of it. Maybe newbieness. Anyway, hang in there. It will be okay. Thank you for your reponse and I hope to hear how it's going. I hear this all the time and hope to be convinced of it soon, but everything will be okayl

[KatieSmiles]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

One step at at time

Workingonit...Give the CD's and Supps a fair try..They really seem to work well for me.

Kitkatsue..I hope you feel better soon too! Good Luck (((Hugs)))

Empty Glass...You have stopped for a few days...I believe you said for four...It's doable, don't give up!

Keep reading and posting,
Hang in there
This site and the people here ROCK!

Katie

[Rags]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Hi and welcome to the site.
You'll get lots of support here.
How did we get to the point? Well, I got there many times over the years and EVERY time I found a reason to have a drink. I finally came to the point about 6 weeks ago when I faced myself and my problems yet again, as I had so many times before, and knew if I didn't stop now I never would, and would probably die of liver failure etc.
But, having done that I put a twist to it and decided to act as positively as I could towards the problem. So rather than looking towards the evening with fear and potential self loathing if I failed and drank, I celebrated the fact I was not going to drink that night. I turned the whole thing on the head and started to take the power away from the alcohol and give the power to me.
Difficult to explain in words. I have slipped up a few times. But I try not to nosedive into despair, remorse, guilt, as that is part of the cycle of drinking.
When you decide on your night to stop drinking, why not try putting yourself in a position where you can't drink for a couple of hours, and are not doing the things you normally do that lead up to the first drink. Maybe go to a movie. Instant reward for not drinking!
I guess another reason it is so hard is because we have become so habitualised into our routine , so we are waiting for 5pm to come round, or plan to have spag bol tonight so we can test the merlot to see if it goes with the dish; all these little primers that we have unconsciously set over the years to ensure we don't miss out on our drinks..
Most important, please be kind to yourself. It is a hard journey as so many here will attest. But you feel so good when you do manage to stop for a couple of days. Once you've done it once just for a couple of days, you know you can do it. Hope this helps.
Rags

[Diana]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Hi,
I don't have the answer either but I just know that I got more and more fed up with myself knowing what I was doing and feeling powerless to stop. Then NYE I had a real bender and everthing I hold dear was nearly lost. I was on the edge of doing something about my drinking but that time was the push I needed to get serious. I went to a couple of AA meetings but didn't quite feel that I fitted. Today is my 24th day AF and I hope to be able to drink in moderation eventually with the help of my supportive friend. Anyway, I went searching on the internet for other help and found this site and the rest is history.

The support is unbelievable and there are so many to help and others that your posting help as well.

Keep up the good work. Any day without getting sloshed is a good day.

Best Wishes
Diana

[Popeye]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Hello
Like Rags, and a few others, I tried to stop drinking regularly - I mean like every other week. I tried AA for a while but I couldn't handle the face-to-face side of it. I don't think I was being totally honest with myself. Always, after a day or so, I felt that I had recovered enough to have another drink (or twelve) and that is what I did.
I came here and saw that there are lots of people in the same boat. I can't explain the trigger, but I managed to make a real effort, for the first time, to manage my drinking better. I thought that I could moderate at first, but it soon became obvious that I cannot.
I feel that I have come a long way in the short time that I have been trying to control my drinking, but I still have so much further to go. I was drinking 4/5/6 bottles of vodka a week two and a half months ago. Now I'm down to one and a half botttles in the last six weeks. The longer that I stay with it, the more I feel that I can turn it around totally.
I hope you find success in your own journey.

[amisssue]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Amisssue

I have been trying to get the confidence to get in touch, today Ive finally done it.
Last night was my first AF night, after trying loads of times thanks to the determination of lots of you lot, hopefully I can continue.:thanks:

[hidden_gem]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Hi Workingitout,

For me, it was New Year's Eve. The party I was going to go to got cancelled. I ended up staying at home with my boyfriend and I just drank as much as I could. I had a complete blackout from about 10 pm. onwards - but I know I was up drinking until 1 a.m. I was so ashamed. I know I rang my parents (they're in the UK, so in a different time zone), but I couldn't remember the conversation.

I have been at the "point of shame" many, many times over the last ten years ago. So what was different about this one?

This website. If I hadn't found it, I probably would have got over my shame within a few days and got back into my usual routine. But having a place I can be honest, and talking to people in the same situation, made it real for me.

Here I can admit I have a problem and no one downplays it or makes me feel ashamed.

So I just keep coming back... and so far 24 days AF... it works!

Gem x

[Rags]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

AMISSUE,

A BIG welcome to you.
Yep, it takes a pretty big leap to finally write something. But don't you feel relief that you have, and that you're not alone in this. Having completed your first night AF you must be smiling a bit, knowing you've done it. You are now starting to turn the power game to yourself. Well done
Rags

[Rocky]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Workingitout,

I do not have an answer for you ...YET

I too have not been able to get one day in AF, and have been here for about two weeks. I have read the book and read as much of the posts as I can. The information I have been taking in, I feel is giving me more determination each day.

Shortly I plan to get the CD's and sups and start. If you have the CD's and sups perhaps you need the Topa Rx, to help kick start?

What I can say is stay here and keep reading and posting, these folks really support each other!!!

We all understand where you are at.

Looking forward to my first day....

[sammys]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

For me it was being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also found this site and it has changed my life.


Sammys

[Lotus]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

:welcome: Workinginout and ammissue.

My kick-start was that I had enough of constant arguing with my husband and then not remembering why we were arguing in the first place. Also I prayed that my husband would be successful in a job interview and I would give up alcohol for 40 days. (A religious bargaining - a bit like giving up something for Lent).

Whatever your reasons are, for either cutting down or givin up alcohol, it might help to write them down. Therefore, whenever you are tempted to have a drink and give yourself a reason to have "just one last drink", you have all the reasons of why not to.

I wish you both all the best. Keep posting and keep reading.

Mandy x

[Popeye]

Nervous about joining but know I need help

Amisssue,

:welcome:

I love this place. There is a lot of wisdom here and plenty of help when you need it.