My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

[resrchqueen]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

I am not sure labels matter.... What matters is that you feel you cannot control the drinking. Hopefully your therapist can suggest ways to cope with stress other than turning to alcohol. I use alcohol, wine specifically, to relax in response to some major issues concerning my 22 yr old son. Am I an alcoholic... Not sure but I know I need to get some control here or stop and find another way to decompress or I certainly will become one.

[Miklo]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

You may have a problem with drinking, drinking may be causing problems in your life. I think at this point you have a psychological addiction to alcohol; but that does not make you an alcoholic. Do you want to be an alcoholic? No, who would, but an alcoholic is someone who is physically addicted. Internet questioners are bogus, they claim that a man who has more than 3 drinks in one night is a heavy drinker(what does that make the man who has a fifth of whiskey a day?), or a woman who has more than two. Those questioners may indicate that if you continue on the path that you are on, you will develop a problem. If you don?t wake up shaking, or you have a hangover you are not an alcoholic, but you do have a drinking problem. Do not get drinking problem and alcoholic confused, they are not the same thing. Do not let her discourage you or let you think you have a pass to drink. You don?t. you know you have a problem, take one minute at a time and don?t give in.

[YouKayBee]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

In my opinion a drinking problem could mean heavy drinker, a heavy drinker can stop without undergoing cravings. An alcoholic is someone for whom drinking alcohol causes problems, and for whom stopping drinking and staying stopped is extremely difficult.

These are my definitions.

Binge drinkers are another 'class', binge drinkers can be alcoholics. I know because I was one, and still am sometimes although it doesn't cause me problems in any shape or form.

Another characteristic of alcoholics is their obsession with alcohol even when not drinking it. I know I'd dream about it, think about it, how I was going to get it and how to conceal it or the after effects.

A heavy drinker tends not to have those worries. They open the bottle at whatever time, drink a lot and finish.

This is how I see it, and only my opinion!

[choice]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Hi Hope,
I had that happen to me too with my doctor and then two different friends in the field. I've also had my trainer at the gym tell me I wasn't. The frustration of coming "out" so to speak and opening up only to be discounted feels beyond terrible. I felt like I was lying or being dramatic. The first time I was wondering about my problem was in 2005. After a session that I was really nervous for I talked about my drinking issues. I was being treated for sever depression and anxiety.. I was seeing this doctor about 2 times a week and was put on so many anti-depressants (trying to find the right one) valume, and sleeping pills... So I was taking 3 very expensive pills a day and talk therapy. I'm so angry still to this day that I went on like that for 2 years. I think it was highly IRRESPONSIBLE of this doctor to discount my wondering if I was an alcoholic. The goal is to get better. So I just drank on all those pills. (And told him I was, was honest about all substance intake) His whole point I remember was.. drinking is a huge part of our society.. and I would struggle to fit in. Everyone drinks and he didn't recommend stopping. He thought it was drastic. Since stopping drinking guess what? I don't need any pills, no depression or anxiety. So wouldn't stopping drinking been a whole less painful and such an obvious cure? What difference did it make about the label alcoholic? Not drinking is obviously better for me, and if I needed the label to stop who cares? When I finally found MWO I loved that not drinking was finally supported and encouraged. Whew.. sorry for such a long response... Long story short... I think you should find a Doctor who is more informed in this area, your paying, and should get what you need. Sorry this happened to you. I am really impressed that you are going to call your doctor out. I wish I had the courage to do that.

[Running4life]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Hi Unwasted, I would be glad to share what the doctor told me to do. He told me that I first had to be willing to quit. He started me on two 250 mg pills of Antibuse daily. I am to attend AA meetings at least three times a week and get a sponsor who will monitor the Antibuse. I have followed all his advice but do not have a sponsor yet, (I haven't found one) He said to go to different meetings and find people that I relate to. He also said that I should get into a 12 step group and get to work. I have been doing some of that as well. I have been doing quite well am at four months and counting.
Unfortunately today has not been good. I attended my Rotary meeting early this morning and then came home to check my email. Hubby had gone to work and forgot to close his hotmail. Got a snoot full of what he has been doing and it is really not good. Sooo, once again our marriage is on very shaky ground. I have been trying to fix an unfixable marriage for the last 10 years. He says he loves me and I believe it but he is addicted to sex and can't seem to control it. It is putting me and my health at risk and I just can't live this way any more. We are off to see the councellor once again but I don't know what good it is going to do. He was supposed to follow a program and hasn't.
Anyway, enough doom and gloom. Addiction is a nasty thing and it sure can rob you of your relationships and happiness. I am hoping to stay on track with the support of this doctor. I need to be sober and making smart choices for myself.
Hope, I wish you success with your doctor.
R4L

[LibraryGirl]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Hope, as some others have said, maybe you aren't an alcoholic. Do you really need that label in order for you to quit drinking, if you don't care for the negative effects it has on your life? I know that when I was drinking, I didn't like my bf occasionally saying snidely that I was an alcoholic. I felt like as long as I wasn't "as bad" as a "real" alcoholic, then I could continue drinking without worry. LMAO The fact was, and IS, I wanted to drink every night, or at least I had a habit of doing so. Sometimes I didn't even FEEL like drinking, but after about 3, I did, lol. The effects of drinking so regularly and heavily had profound negative affects on my life and that is why I wanted to quit. End of story.

Now, whether I, or you, drank to conceal other problems is another matter. Of course I did. I can only speak for myself, of course. Perhaps your therapist wants you to do the work of examining WHY you drank, and not focus soley on drinking itself. Maybe he/she thinks that if you could confront and work through your issues, the drinking would naturally stop. However, if you lay all the blame on AL, then just stopping might seem to be the answer but it will not. From what I understand, there is a thing such as a "dry alcoholic" as well. You can quit and not confront the issues of "why" you drank, and the issues will remain.

Maybe you should ask your therapist at your next appointment, "Why are you so quick to say that I am not an alcoholic? Are you giving me a license to drink? Because I believe it is having a very negative affect on my life, and I don't wish to continue to abuse alcohol." I believe he/she will probably say that no, they did not intend it to mean that you should continue on the path you were on.

Anyway, I am rambling and just throwing out some ideas. If I'm wrong, please don't take this to heart. I truly only mean to be of some help, if I can.:l

[lil.michelle]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Mine said the same thing. The thing is, they only count an alcoholic as someone who needs to have a drink as soon as they wake up and ever 30 mins of the day to keep themselves topped up. If you drink through depression or any hard times it's counted as just drinking too much.

[hope10]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Running4life...I am so sorry about your marriage! I completely understand finding junk about your husband on the computer and the cheating thing. I caught my ex-husband cheating when I was 8 months pregnant. I literally caught him at another womans home when I was supposed to be on bedrest. I wish you the best and my heart just aches for you!!!!! Please don't let his crap get in the way of you getting healthy!

I think I am the only person who can truly define whether or not I am an alcoholic. I say I am. The reason....I cannot control my drinking any longer. I cannot stop at just one.
No one else can put a label on me but me. If I put that label on myself...no one, especially not my therapist should try to dissuade me.

My husband has discouraged me from thinking this for years, and I have continued to drink b/c he has been very lackadaisical about it. He has almost encouraged me to drink in the past. When I had a bad day and would say, "rough day, I am struggling with drinking." He would tell me, "yeah you have had a bad day and a drink is definitely in order." This is only b/c he wanted to drink too!

I am a little ashamed to admit that I did not confront my therapist about this at our appointment yesterday. I just want to be honest with you all. I instead gave her very real examples of why I consider myself an alcoholic. She did not try to discourage me yesterday and was actually pretty supportive. She did get on my nerves in other ways though. I don't know. I have a tendancy to sabotage good things in my life. I want to stop seeing her but I know if I stop, I may not seek out another therapist.

Librarygirl, I do get what you are saying. She did say before I left that there is something else that we have not cracked the surface of. I think there are some deeper things going on with me. That "dry alcoholic" thing makes sense.

so much to think of! choice---I hope I get to the place where I can get off of my meds just from being AF.

[Unwasted]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

R4L, I'm so sorry about what you're going through right now. That's got to be so painful. I hope you realize it's a problem about him, not you, and that you won't let it trigger your drinking! Thinking of you :lilheart:

Hope, my husband used to encourage me too until I really sent the message home to him that alcohol was driving me crazy. And Jeesh, sorry about your ex's treatment of you.......so depressing........I hope you can work through all of this and do what's best for you regardless of the circumstances surrounding you......not easy, but worth it.

[damo180]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

This is an amazing post and has really helped me tonight.
On the outside, you would not think I had a problem with alcohol. I hid it so well, was such an expert at hiding it.

But I firmly believe if you think you may have a problem with alcohol, you HAVE got one and it will only get worse.
I have not been on here much, but glad i logged on tonight, thank you.

I would also like to recommend AA if anyone is looking for extra support.
AA is amazing.

Anyway, thanks again and hop everyone here are well.

Damo in Dublin
xxx

[DriftyAlison0]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

I never considered myself a full blown alcoholic, however I knew I was heading down that path so I quit before I got full blown into it. You know for yourself if your one or not, however you don't have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking.

[FlyAway]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

LibraryGirl;1277127 wrote: Hope, as some others have said, maybe you aren't an alcoholic. Do you really need that label in order for you to quit drinking, if you don't care for the negative effects it has on your life? I know that when I was drinking, I didn't like my bf occasionally saying snidely that I was an alcoholic. I felt like as long as I wasn't "as bad" as a "real" alcoholic, then I could continue drinking without worry. LMAO The fact was, and IS, I wanted to drink every night, or at least I had a habit of doing so. Sometimes I didn't even FEEL like drinking, but after about 3, I did, lol. The effects of drinking so regularly and heavily had profound negative affects on my life and that is why I wanted to quit. End of story.

Now, whether I, or you, drank to conceal other problems is another matter. Of course I did. I can only speak for myself, of course. Perhaps your therapist wants you to do the work of examining WHY you drank, and not focus soley on drinking itself. Maybe he/she thinks that if you could confront and work through your issues, the drinking would naturally stop. However, if you lay all the blame on AL, then just stopping might seem to be the answer but it will not. From what I understand, there is a thing such as a "dry alcoholic" as well. You can quit and not confront the issues of "why" you drank, and the issues will remain.

Maybe you should ask your therapist at your next appointment, "Why are you so quick to say that I am not an alcoholic? Are you giving me a license to drink? Because I believe it is having a very negative affect on my life, and I don't wish to continue to abuse alcohol." I believe he/she will probably say that no, they did not intend it to mean that you should continue on the path you were on.

Anyway, I am rambling and just throwing out some ideas. If I'm wrong, please don't take this to heart. I truly only mean to be of some help, if I can.:l

Very wise words LG. I particularly like questioning why you need the label "alcoholic" to quit drinking.

[FlyAway]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Running4Life I'm very sorry about what's going on in your marriage. My husband had an emotional affair in the past and I figured it out before it got too far. But it was tough to get past and if it happens again we're over. I can't imagine the pain of what you're going through and I totally understand being done. :l

[LibraryGirl]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

TBH, I don't think I am an alcoholic. I don't dream about alcohol, never hid it (except after the fact, like the next day...or not telling my loved ones how often/much I drank), and didn't obsess about the next drink. I just knew I'd buy a bottle of rum on the way home from work, if I didn't have at least a half of a bottle at home already. Regardless, I suffered from debilitating hangovers, every day nearly, edema from deydration/water retention, anxiety, and a host of other problems I still may not even know the extent of. All of that is MORE than enough reason to not drink.

I just wanted to add this, not sure why.:H

[Doggygirl]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

Ann 221;1276347 wrote: I think you are right. Clearly this person does not specialize in substance abuse.
I say find another therapist, pronto

Ditto. Nothing against your therapist. I am in school to become an addictions counselor and here is what my class work suggests to me about your experience with this therapist.

There are a number of theories about the etiology of addiction. One theory is that underlying problems cause us to use alcohol or drugs inappropriately, and that if the underlying problems are resolved, then the substance abuse will stop. It sounds like this might be the school of thought she believes.

People who have done a lot of work with addicts would not agree with this approach to treatment. While in some cases that cause might be true - some people drink because of life events or other undrelying problems - people who specialize in addiction believe that once addiction takes hold, solving the underlying issues will not solve the addiction. The substance use has to be brought under control (that often means abstinence, but not always) first. Then the underlying problems can be addressed. This view is not everyone's view, but it is the one that makes the most sense to me.

In any case, since you have identified alcohol use as a problem for youself, I would at least make sure I was working with a therapist who specializes in that.

Good luck to you. I know my own problems became a lot more manageable when I was able to stop drinking.

DG