My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

[nancy]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

your therapist

I think DG made some good points.
I would just add.... I think one of the problems here is the term "alcholism" with its murky definition from the 12-step tradition, including asking yourself a few questions.
It's a label that is often unhelpful and which some people don't like. The NIAAA has some information on "alcohol use disorder" and more detailed questionnaires that actually take account of the life problems you have had with alcohol, as well as the actual amount you are drinking on a daily and weekly basis. I think that this term is something that more people can live with and is less subject to debate. For example, are your drinking levels above what the recommended limits are? Are you having relationship problems because of it? Those things are a lot more helpful than this vague term of alcoholism. And it's more based on your behavior than some underlying vague primary disease of alcoholism.
In other words, are you dependent on alcohol or abusing it are more appropriate questions and easier to answer than do you have alcoholism? And the solution to both might be the same, that is abstinence. Fixing an underlying problem first is an option if you are not willing to be abstinent but I agree that knowing why may not necessarily help.
But in general, I don't think doctors, including some therapists, are that well-educated about it and if you are not in tune with yours I agree that it's best to find a new one.

[LibraryGirl]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

One very simple explanation that I heard regarding addiction is this question: Are you continuing to use ___, although it is affecting your life negatively? If so, then you have an addiction.

[Turn Around]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

"Are you an alcoholic?"

Here's a question that came from my ex's attorney while I was on stand battling for my young son for custody. I knew it was bound to be asked, since this is the only avenue that they had to label me as an unfit parent and him to gain custody. Little background; My ex has 4 DUI's, continues to drink, had a long battle of pain meds that eventually led to heroin which he may or may not still be doing (scary) My response went as follows...

Me: "I don't know"
Attorney: "What do you mean you don't know? You either are or you are not. Answer the question"
Me: "I really don't know if I am"
Attorney: "Again, answer the question, yes or no"
Me: " I can't give you a yes or no answer because I don't know. I can tell you that I haven't continued to drink to find out that answer, so it really doesn't apply to my life anymore."
Attorney: "So what you are telling the court is you refuse to answer the question because you are an alcoholic."
Me: "Nope, I didn't say that at all. It may be your interpretation and be what it may, but I will not sit up here under oath and give an answer yes or no to a question that I can't honestly answer the way you would like me to."
Attorney: So you are admitting that you are in denial about being an alcoholic."
Me: "If I was in denial, I wouldn't have stopped drinking last year. I can answer that. No, I am not in denial."
Attorney: So you are indeed an alcoholic and not in denial about it?"
Me: "I don't know if I am an alcoholic, and I am not in denial. Are you through yet?"
.....and the subject was changed.

Either way, it's a personal choice to 'label' yourself as an alcoholic. If you need to have that answer of yes or no, then you will eventually get there. I personally don't need that answer to continue sobriety and others can label me for their own understanding. It wont help or hinder what I am doing.

Could I stop once I had one drink? Sure, but most often chose not to. Did I drink because I couldn't deal with my own self and issues? Absolutely! So I taught myself to love, respect and take responsibility for the mess inside I was and not use AL as a source of comfort or diversion from what was really going on.

Now, I cannot even think of AL as a "stress reliever" or a "way out". I view it as a stumbling block. Really, I think back to how if felt to be tipsy or drunk, and get uncomfortable with that feeling. I don't ever want to have that feeling again.

When you accept who you really are past what you are doing, the journey becomes a lot more rewarding and becomes a lot less difficult to forgive yourself for choices you cannot take back now. There's nothing special about AL.

[shueaddict]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

powerful stuff, Turn!
Way to take the stand for yourself, and I don't mean just in court.

[hope10]

My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

mollyka, thank you for sharing your story in re. to therapy. I think it just proves to me that I need an addiction counselor. I really think that this person I am seeing is so clueless in addiction therapy. Did you see the addiction therapists in a treatment facility? I know rehab would help me but I have not followed through b/c my child and other people finding out who just CANNOT know!!

I know the alcohol problem stems from my childhood. I never had an addiction to AL until about 7 years ago. I was addicted to cocaine in college. I just feel so blessed to have kicked that!!! But AL took it's place. I just have a major addictive personality....hence...I need an addiction specialist!

Doggygirl...thank you for your educational knowledge! I totally believe in the theory where I would need abstinence before all of the other underlying problems are able to be addressed. I can't get any "work" done on myself until I get hold of this addiction!

Turn Around...I can definitely relate with the custody/attorney nonsense. You make me not want to label myself as an alcoholic b/c I don't want that label to be used against me in a court of law for instance. I have such paranoia about everything. I have major paranoia about people reading this site and realizing who I am such as family members. It's annoying.