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    #1

    My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

    I am a little pissed at my therapist. After going to her for the past few months and actually coming clean to her about my struggle with alcohol, she told me last week that she "would venture to say that I am probably not an alcoholic." "I just have a lot going on in my life that has driven me to drink and I am covering up the real issues."

    I don't really get this b/c I have sat there and cried in her office and told her I have a drinking problem and that I felt that if I did stop AL, I would die. Is it just me or is this completely irresponsible of her to say this to me? I have an appointment with her tomorrow and I am going to confront her about my feelings on this topic! Any input?
    This just seems wrong to me. If someone has admitted to having a drinking problem, I don't think someone else should say, "you are ok, you don't have a problem." This makes me in the back of my mind give myself a free pass to drink again.
    "One day at a time. Messy bed, Messy head."
    March 13, 2012

    Goal #1: 7 days 3/19/12 DONE
    Goal #2: 15 days 3/27/12
    Goal #3: 30 days 4/11/12
    Goal #4: 60 days 5/11/12
    Goal #5: 90 days 6/10/12
    Goal #6: 6 months
    Goal #7: 1 year
    Tags: None
    #2
    My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

    Hope,
    First of all, do not use this as a "pass" to drink again. You know you have a problem with alcohol, you admitted it openly. Secondly, maybe she doesn't want to "label" you. But she could at least acknowledge the problem you are admitting to. You should confront her about it, and tell her how it made you feel. Let us know how your next appointment goes ok?
    Good luck!
    K9
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment

      #3
      My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

      k9, I am not going to let her comment lead me to drink but I keep thinking about her saying this to me. Any little thing like this can end up screwing me up especially in the moment of a craving. I have got to get her comments out of my head and know that I know the truth and AL is NO friend of mine!
      "One day at a time. Messy bed, Messy head."
      March 13, 2012

      Goal #1: 7 days 3/19/12 DONE
      Goal #2: 15 days 3/27/12
      Goal #3: 30 days 4/11/12
      Goal #4: 60 days 5/11/12
      Goal #5: 90 days 6/10/12
      Goal #6: 6 months
      Goal #7: 1 year

      Comment

        #4
        My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

        Hope, this doctor probably thinks she is doing you a favor by not labeling you an alcoholic. I think only we know if we have a problem. I would bet they wouldn't label me one either, but I'm sure I have a problem. I don't care what the label is, I just know alcohol makes me miserable and therefore I don't want to drink it.

        I hope you will continue to choose not to drink. There are different stages of alcoholism, and you may be in the early stages, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't reach the more advanced ones if you continued to drink.

        Comment

          #5
          My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

          Loads of people told me I wasn't an alcoholic, because I;

          Didn't drink 24/7 (only because I'd pass out after 3-4 hours)
          Could have alcohol free days (but had cravings every single one of them)
          Could control other areas of my life (just about)
          Didn't look like a tramp
          Was too young/intelligent/pretty/self aware
          Appeared too healthy(amazing how I would rebound quickly)

          Bollocks is all I have to say, who was in denial there huh?!
          I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

          Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

          AF date 22/07/13

          Comment

            #6
            My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

            Hey Hope

            I think you are right. Clearly this person does not specialize in substance abuse.
            I say find another therapist, pronto

            Comment

              #7
              My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

              I was told that too a while back, and it gave me another 6 or 7 years of drinking - I do wish I had believed what I was feeling and started this road a while ago! I may not or I may be alcoholic - I don't really care - I know that for myself I drink too much and I don't want to keep doing this, and that is what matters to me.
              Being an alcoholic is a subjective term, not an objective one and it is impossible to classify - be what you need to be for your sake (health, sanity and everything else) and keep going the direction that makes you who you want to be! Please don't be like me and use this as an excuse to keep drinking.....it is good that you are a little pissed, that is probably healthy - I was really relieved, that equalled really unhealthy :H
              Good luck tomorrow!
              “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

              Comment

                #8
                My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                Hope, I have had many, many people say to me that they don't think I have a drinking problem , and pretty much say I drink for the same reasons as you.

                I personally don't like the label "alcoholic" I prefer that to say I have an alcohol addiction. I also would say to people that the drinking was my main problem, and they tried to talk me out of it???
                Probably becuse I kept it so well hidden.

                Anyway, no matter what the therapist says, you and you alone know how much of an issue it is to you and what problems it is causing. Maybe you should look at getting another therapist? Maybe your therapist doesn't understand alcohol addiction?

                When I worked as a therapist, a lot of my clients had been diagnosed with manic depression, bi polar et, the first thing I would ask them was if, and how much they drank. (ironic of me know, I know)

                7 times out of 10, they were regular heavy drinkers. So I would address the drinking first, mainly as once that is addressed, you can deal with your other problems a lot easier.

                Good luck, and I think you are doing really well by admitting you have a problem to your therapoist in the first place.
                Take care.

                Comment

                  #9
                  My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                  Daya, thanks for the feedback. I agree with the fact that once I deal with the alcohol problem, it will be easier to address the other problems. I told my therapist that if I can just stop drinking, many things will get better. I know not everything will get better and I will still have problems but I will not be in a brain fog every other day when I am hungover and can't get out of bed. I am pretty much out of order the day after I drink. My emotions are also all over the place and I am so much calmer when I do not drink.

                  Jane, I have not been seeing her too long but the alcohol talk came out pretty early. I agree that maybe she does not want to label me but especially after hearing what scottish lass said, it makes me afraid and I don't want the therapist to try to talk me out of any real problem I have or to minimalize it.

                  I will let you all know what happens tomorrow. Thank you for the support:thanks:
                  "One day at a time. Messy bed, Messy head."
                  March 13, 2012

                  Goal #1: 7 days 3/19/12 DONE
                  Goal #2: 15 days 3/27/12
                  Goal #3: 30 days 4/11/12
                  Goal #4: 60 days 5/11/12
                  Goal #5: 90 days 6/10/12
                  Goal #6: 6 months
                  Goal #7: 1 year

                  Comment

                    #10
                    My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                    Also to Ann 221, you are right, she does not specialize in substance abuse and told me straight out that she does not have much experience with addictions. I should probably move on to someone else!
                    "One day at a time. Messy bed, Messy head."
                    March 13, 2012

                    Goal #1: 7 days 3/19/12 DONE
                    Goal #2: 15 days 3/27/12
                    Goal #3: 30 days 4/11/12
                    Goal #4: 60 days 5/11/12
                    Goal #5: 90 days 6/10/12
                    Goal #6: 6 months
                    Goal #7: 1 year

                    Comment

                      #11
                      My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                      Hi Hope10,
                      I did a couple of alcoholism questionaires on the internet and they all told me I'm an alcoholic. Maybe you can do the same, print it out and show her. In the final analysis it's us who have to deal with the truth.
                      Please let us know how the session went.
                      make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                        "I don't think someone else should say, "you are ok, you don't have a problem."

                        Hi hope, I think sometimes labels are difficult because it puts things into very black/white boxes. Reading between the lines she may think you fit more as an alcohol abuser for example, I don't think she is saying you don't have a problem with alcohol but she isn't boxing you in with such a serious label of alcoholic. She may be right though that you are using al to cope with other serious issues and by working on those issues it may help you with the alcohol use but if you don't feel like she gets you then it may be time to move on to another therapist. :l

                        Comment

                          #13
                          My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                          Hope, most doctors do not receive any training in addictions. The general practitioners that I saw never seemed to address the problem when I tried to get help. They all seemed uncomfortable talking about it and one even said, "well, just drink less"! What a stupid comment that was.
                          I finally got wind of an addiction specialist and talked my GP into referring me to him. It was a godsend. He confirmed what I already knew and very firmly laid out a plan for what I needed to do. He also said that if I was not willing to do it that there was no need to continue the visits. I have followed his advice, as my alternative is no help at all. It was also a relief to talk to someone who could tell it like it was.
                          I would suggest that you be patient with the doctor but firmly state that you feel you have a problem and urge her to refer you to a professional who is trained in addiction medicine.
                          There are such doctors. I have learned to be a strong advocate for myself and family with doctors.
                          If your drinking is a problem for you, you really don't need anyone to confirm it, you need someone to help you with a treatment plan that will work for you.
                          I wish you luck and take care,
                          R4L
                          Don't worry, be happy!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                            R4L, if you come back to this thread, could you share some of the things the addiction specialist said you needed to do?

                            Comment

                              #15
                              My therapist said I was probably not an alcoholic

                              jessie-brilliant idea! I am going to do that right now!!!

                              I am loving all of this support and I really thank you all sooooo much!:heart:
                              "One day at a time. Messy bed, Messy head."
                              March 13, 2012

                              Goal #1: 7 days 3/19/12 DONE
                              Goal #2: 15 days 3/27/12
                              Goal #3: 30 days 4/11/12
                              Goal #4: 60 days 5/11/12
                              Goal #5: 90 days 6/10/12
                              Goal #6: 6 months
                              Goal #7: 1 year

                              Comment

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