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    time for a change

    my story is like many here, i come from a long line of very distinguished EtOH abusers, and my drinking really got out of control when my wife got pregnant, my best two friends died (one pancreatitis from alcoholism, at 27, the other from heroin OD, at 28).
    when the latter died, i made the decision to quit methadone. cold turkey. it was a three-month warr hell ride and the only thing that dulled my w/d was alcohol.

    its gotten out of control. i drink vanilla extract, hand sanitizer, and anything that doesn't look *too* toxic... that has booze in it. i make my own hooch.

    i have a son now, a month old today, and i cannot care for him with shaking hands, constant retching, and the guilt and fear i have about being intoxicated around him is overwhelming me.

    i need to change this before it kills me, or i do something exceedingly stupid.

    today, i ordered my first shipment of baclofen from 4rx, and pray it arrives quickly. i don't want to keep drinking. i've been to rehab twice, and they just throw a little valium at you and "taper" you over a four day period, at which point the REAL w/d begins, and i leave.

    i'm 31 years old, and i wouldn't mind at all anyone with any input concerning my choice to use baclofen to help ease me off the back of this beast.

    anyway... chreetings, cheers, and salutations.

    -ryan (the FNG)

    #2
    time for a change

    ryan, :welcome: Please go here and read and post for more information about baclofen:

    Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums

    Also, visit the Tool Box, and post in the Newbie's Nest, as there is lots of support in both of these places. I am 23 days sober as a direct result of this site, and I wish the same for you.:l

    Someone with more insight might be of a better help to you, as it seems as though you suffer from major physical withdrawal symptoms. Please get help.:l

    P.S. You might also consider Antabuse. It has helped many, many of the members here to abstain from AL.


    "I like people too much or not at all."
    Sylvia Plath

    Comment


      #3
      time for a change

      i agree it is time for a change

      Comment


        #4
        time for a change

        Ryan, sounds like you're having a really rough go of it. Congratulations on your beautiful baby and it sure does sound like a good time to turn your life around. You have come to the right place and Library girl has given you some good info.

        Have you tried to make a plan yet? A get sober stay sober plan?

        Come on over to the newbies nest and l
        Day 1 again 11/5/19
        Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
        Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
        Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
        11/27/19: messed up but back on track
        12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

        One day at a time.

        Comment


          #5
          time for a change

          Oops,
          So come on over to the newbies nest and look at the last few pages. That's where most of us hang out and give eachother daily updates and encouragement.

          You can do this. The insanity can stop. We are here to help!
          Day 1 again 11/5/19
          Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
          Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
          Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
          11/27/19: messed up but back on track
          12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

          One day at a time.

          Comment


            #6
            time for a change

            Welcome Ryan. Lots of people here have gotten sober using Baclofen. I hope it works for you! Lots and lots of threads and wisdom in the Medications section of the forum. Have you decided on a plan yet for taking bac, and also dealing with other issues related to getting alcohol out of the drivers seat of your life?

            Your baby sounds like good motivation. Good luck to you!

            DG
            Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
            Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


            One day at a time.

            Comment


              #7
              time for a change

              Gosh I am really hoping you can get some control here both for you and your baby son. Please do what you have to to get some help k? It's one thing when we drink and engage in SELF destructive behaviors... It's another thing when we expose our loved ones to destructive behaviors. Not trying to judge you... Don't get me wrong... But your baby is so young and depends on YOU.

              Comment


                #8
                time for a change

                Hi Ryan,
                I just wanted to welcome you and tell you that I hope you stick around. I agree, it's time for a change. You don't want to live like this anymore, I can tell. You've lost two (very young) friends to substance abuse, please let that be an incentive to you. You now have a child to stick around for. I know you can do this, a lot of people here thought they could never do it, and they are now success stories. Please stick close and let us know how you are.
                K9
                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                Comment


                  #9
                  time for a change

                  Hi Ryan, nice to meet you. I don't know anything about the meds but it does sound like you need a change. Well done on taking steps to sort yourself out, counselling would probably work really well for you too considering you lost your friends so young. Take care.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    time for a change

                    well i've tried cutting back drastically, and it sucks that i throw up when i drink, and i throw up when i don't drink. i had a small amount today, and it helped. bac still has not arrived, but my consumption is way down. shaky, anxious, nauseous... same old BS we've all likely been through. i wish i could sleep. or eat. i'm dehydrated, acidotic, malnourished... though i could stand to lose a few!

                    thank you all for your thoughts. i'll keep you posted on my progress, and would like to know how to most efficiently make a plan to use baclofen on my own.

                    i'm thinking i will start at 25mg once a day and titrate up as my EtOH intake reduces further, until i feel just comfortable enough to avoid rum.

                    i'm still very skeptical. most of the GABA modulators or agonists i've used had their own baggage... sure valium or ativan will make the shakes dissipate, but when it comes time to quit them...

                    what surprised me about baclofen is that i'ts quite old, predating most benzodiazepines, and still hasn't a documented abuse potential. that it isn't a scheduled substance might be the best part. it's still a substitution therapy, but i have a lot of hope for the future...


                    thanks again for all your input. looks like a good group here.

                    :thanks:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      time for a change

                      I think you need to see a doctor to get something to settle the nerves and withdrawls and to put you on the right medication
                      You have a wonderful incentive with your baby
                      sorry you are having such a bad time

                      Comment


                        #12
                        time for a change

                        I agree with Merry, it sounds like you could use some proper medical advice.

                        It does suck, of course it does. It's hard. But it's only going to get harder the longer it goes on and it'll never be as hard as being too ill to play with your son, or even worse, not even being here for him full stop. I know that sounds horrid but it's the truth.

                        You can do it, you just need help getting through the first stages. Once you start coming out the other side, you'll feel so much better. Think of it as breaking your leg - it would be painful and a real pain in the ass in the beginning but you'd get help to fix it and get better. This is no different.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          time for a change

                          my dad is a doctor. my mother is a nurse.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            time for a change

                            I don't know about you though but I wouldn't want to talk to my folks about "this", even if they were health professionals. It's too close and personal - maybe that's just me. It's easier sometimes to talk to people who are more detached from you. How are you doing today?

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