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[CollieMom]

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LBF - For me, one of the most useful aspects of this site in my first days (and still!) was to read, read, read through these posts. There is so much wisdom and 'been-there' knowledge. At the suggestion of another poster, I started cutting and pasting some of the best things that I thought were most useful into a document I could keep at hand. (just one of those -- "it's a craving, not a command' -- has become my mantra during my witching hour. If that wears thin, I'll take a look at my 'inspiration page' and come up with something else.) Stay strong. Stay here. And know that you already have the support of a lot of people.

[K9Lover]

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Hi LBF!
I just wanted to welcome you to MWO, it's a great place for support, encouragement and advice. I know a lot of people wish that one day they could moderate, but for me, I know that's not an option. It's all or nothing for me...and all wasn't working for me anymore. I've been on this journey for a couple of years now, with several long-term quits, but I feel like I never "got it" like I do this time. Alcohol has nothing to offer me anymore. I've had 2 DUI's in the past and am so thankful I never hurt anyone. Please keep us posted on how you are doing...and again, welcome!
K9

[Kaslo]

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Welcome to MWO, Lost but Found....

I think if you look back on this after 30 days it will look a lot like you actually have hit Rock Bottom. You are so lucky you didnt hurt anyone driving, and your patterns, well you know deep down its a real problem. Its so easy for Professionals to say you are not that bad, but they are not always all that astute and AL is insidious.

Greeneyes advice is really good. Check out the various tool box and book options on the site. Its going to be a challenge but you can do it.

Meanwhile the beating yourself up part, I disagree with TDN a bit (sorry T) but that was serious, and its gotta be a real eye opener that you had to do that with a 3 thousand pound hunk of metal at 50 miles an hour, but now you have a real chance to help yourself and your bf recover.

Keep posting, lots of great support here and people with a LOT of experience and sympathy for the really rought times when quitting, but its NOT that hard really...especially if you commit to 30 days to start.

Kaslo

[K9Lover]

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Hi LBF,
How are you doing today? Please let us know how things are going for you.
K9

[BlondeAFAmbition]

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Welcome Lost! Glad to have you here on MWO...it is a really great place to be as you start your new AF journey! In your opening post, you mentioned stopping for "one" drink with a friend, which then resulted in more drinks and a tricky drive home...and a terrible hangover. Alcohol is an addictive substance...period. This is why we cannot have just "one" drink...ever. It is the nature of the drug...it will hook us with one and then we cannot stop at that. We must have more and when we have more, we let our guards down because, again, due to the nature of the "drug", our judgement is impaired. It's why heroin addicts or cocaine addicts cannot stop...AL, like those drugs, does the same thing addiction wise. Do not succumb to the first drink. Celebrate your new found freedom from AL and start living a full, clear-headed, wonderful life. If you have not heard of Jason Vale's book, Kick the Drink Easily, I would highly recommend it. It totally changes your perception of AL and instead of feeling deprived living without it, you begin to see it for the brain washing poison that it is and you celebrate your freedeom from ever having to drink it...again. I don't recommend things 100% unless they have trully worked for me, and this did. Do a search on MWO for comments about this book as other members have spoken highly of it as well.

Good luck...stick with us...it only gets BETTER! Tomorrow I will have 30 days of sobriety under my belt and I am feeling better than ever!

[LostButFound]

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Thank you all for writing me. I'm basically in the same position today as I was last week when I originally posted.
The difference today is that I'm a lot more open to the idea of quitting. I want to change that word, though - rather than quitting something bad for me I want to enhance my life. I want to add instead of take away. I want to add health and reason and safety among a zillion other things.
I like the idea of clipping inspiring things from here and saving it.
I'm thankful that, at least for me, AL isn't an everyday want or need for me. I'm trying to find some kind of "at least" so I'm not just beating myself up or hating myself.

[LibraryGirl]

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Yes, LBF, you can be grateful that you don't want/need AL every day. In theory that should make it easier for you to quit. In reality, it is still a habit and something you have grown accustomed to doing one day, or two days (however much it is for you) a week. Therefore, you will have to do the work like all of us, and commit to being AF, if that is what you want for yourself.

Keep posting and asking questions. This is a great place to be!

[LostButFound]

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Hi LG
In some ways it's what I want (AF) in some ways in some ways I don't want it.
But I think I 'have' to do it. Obviously I can't control myself and even if it's only one night a week it's an over-the-top, dangerous night that is followed by a hangover.
I'm hoping, too, that perhaps that one stupid bad night a week can be averted!

Why do so many suggest trying 30 days AF? Why 30?

(thanks)