Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

[Wynot]

I've just logged back in after a LONG absence. Looks like I was last here in August. Tried a stint at AA meetings and outpatient rehab. Now starting again after much soul searching, praying, and many a hung-over morning. It's been 3 days since I have had a drink. Somehow I feel differently this time. I somehow feel as if I have a new outlook on my predicament this time 'round. Could this be it -- do I dare hope.

I've recently read (or actually listened to on tape) the book "Sober for Good" by Anne Fletcher. It recounts how many people have overcome their alcohol addiction. In almost all cases, the "masters" as the author calls them, have decided that what alcohol has done for/to them has been a nightmare. Most reached a point where it just wasn't worth it anymore. Instead of feeling sorry for themselves for not being able to drink like "normal" people, they concentrate on how much better life is outside the bottle.

So that's what I'm trying now. Whenever I feel like taking that first sip of wine, I remember the morning after shame, regret and self-loathing. The sh*tty feeling, headache, fear of what I was doing to my health. The heart palpitations, memory loss. I don't want to live my life like that anymore. That is not the way I want to see myself or to have others see me.

Sorry. I didn't mean for this to go on so long. I'm still so early into this new feeling that I fear it may leave me. I don't want to go back. I have read much encouraging news on these posts and feel this is the right place for me to be now. Thanks for reading.

Peace, Diane

[dilayne]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Welcome Back Diane!
There is nothing to fear but fear itself...you can do this..and I agree, focus on the huge life outside the bottle, not the little tiny limited one inside it..
Namaste!
Dianne

[rivergirl]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Diane, Hurrah, You are here. You have been working and learning the whole time you were gone. I read today that there can be a limbic lag.

"Even though you've discovered false beliefs, uncovered the lies and know a new truth, there is a time lag between what your limbic system believes and what your neocortex has learned. This is called limbic lag, a process that can be anywhere from a couple of months to years, but it will get shorter as you continue to challenge the false beliefs (traumatic memories) and risk trusting people."

Probably now your limbic lag is over and you are set for freedom road. keep posting and reading we are routing for you.

Rivergirl

[lushy]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Welcome back Diane and I hope this is your time as well. There has been much discussion around here lately about what you said; how we need to focus on not what we are giving up by not drinking but what we are gaining from not drinking. I wish you the best!!!!

[Wynot]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I like the "Limbic Lag" Rivergirl. Maybe that explains it. Day 4 done... onto day 5.

[betty boop]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Diane, I didn't meet you first time round but :welcome: back

I also hope that this is the time for you ....

Stick around this time, even if things get tough ....

Well done so far...

[Matt]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

lush;90198 wrote: Welcome back Diane and I hope this is your time as well. There has been much discussion around here lately about what you said; how we need to focus on not what we are giving up by not drinking but what we are gaining from not drinking. I wish you the best!!!!

"Think about what we gain from NOT drinking"

I love that!!!!! So true...

[IN ANTICIPATION]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME

Dear Diane,

Welcome back ! And congrats on Day 5 ! Keep on a-fighting - see quote below.

Something I have found that helped when I have been trying to control my drinking, is to treat myself as a child, and give myself a reward sticker/big tick, etc. each day I succeed ! Sounds childish, but it has helped me.

Also it?s important to have a list of pleasureable things to do, which can be referred to and immediately started when you experience a craving/urge, ie. Reading, walking, jogging, dancing to music, crafts, cooking a special meal, etc.

I make myself a Controlled Drinking Diary to be filled in each day.
Each day, decide whether you will drink that day. Yes?.. No?..
Then decide how much you will drink.
If not drinking, choose, say, 3 pleasurable things to do instead of drinking.

Afterwards:
Ask yourself if you stuck to your drinking plan? [If ?Yes? - give yourself a big tick/sticker and count the days off alcohol.]

If not, ask yourself, ?What happened, where did it go wrong??
?How could I change my drinking plan for next time??
?What will I actually do to make it work??

Hope this is of a little benefit to you.
All the best,
IN ANTICIPATION :l :l :l

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog."
DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

[Flip]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

i have that book too and its a great thing to read how hundreds of other "masters" have stopped drinking and I think it has contributed to my sobriety over the past two months.

I too have been struggling for a few years now, but this time I have the feeling, nay, the knowledge, that I am going to be successful in changing my life for the better.

you are doing great, just keep doing it!

[weemelonhead]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Diane...you sound VERY positive...WELCOME BACK!!!!!!
I agree with your point of focus...abstinence should NEVER feel like deprivation....it should always be the biggest treat we offer ourselves, because we LOVE ourselves sooooo much!!!
Good to meet you.......... xxx

[Wynot]

Feeling Somewhat Sheepish

Thanks again.

As "In Anticipation" suggests I've been treating myself to a Chai Latte to drink on my drive home from work. It's a bit pricey but less than a bottle of vino.