Another question...

[LostButFound]

Hi all
I've posted a lot today. I'm in need.

I am fearful. I don't understand it.
WHY am I scared? If I were to stop hitting myself in the head with a hammer I'd find relief and be glad when I stopped hurting myself.

I'm hurting myself. Why am I afraid to just stop hurting?

I'm sad; frustrated; scared; anxious and so confused.
One day at a time, right? One night at a time, too.

I live 6 days a week sober and happy with myself for it; in fact I don't even think much about drinking the whole week.
It takes one night to bring me back to feeling rotten in all ways possible.

So why? Why am I afraid??

LBF

[Willow23]

Another question...

Hello again - you'll get sick of me, ha!

You're scared cos it's a big change. Logically you know it's not right to get wasted but what addict can be logical?! That's precisely why we're here on MWO.

I couldn't imagine going somewhere and not drinking - it seemed to boost my confidence, made me able to talk to people more easily, made the evening more enjoyable. Would people think I was boring or weird if I didn't drink? That's scary too. You know what though - it's all fake, that's just the power of AL.

I understand the fear cos I used to have it too, but as I said in the other thread, something's changed in me and now I'm not scared anymore. I'm sure I'll have days where I'll get the chatter going on at some point, it's only been a week after all, but I'm equally sure I'll come through it again. That's REAL confidence coming through now because I'm not clouded by AL anymore.

[LostButFound]

Another question...

Hi Willow
I will not tire of hearing from you.

I hadn't thought of the word confidence.
Confidence would be much better than this fear.

Maybe I'm afraid to both fail and to just have to face these changes then?

lbf

[LibraryGirl]

Another question...

LBF, I bet it is because you are obsessing about quitting. You normally don't feel the desire to drink, except on the weekend, and that's just a habit, I think. You are afraid of giving up what you deem as your "reward" maybe. What I suggest is coming up with an entirely different reward for yourself that you can look forward to at week's end, or whatever day you decide.

I was scared as hell to quit too. I couldn't imagine life without AL. I felt like it would be so dull I might as well be dead...how crazy is that?! What changed was the fact that I was MORE scared of what might happen to me if I continued with AL. That was the key.

Hey, send me a PM any time.

[Willow23]

Another question...

Probably. At the minute you romanticise AL - you know what's it like - "I've had a hard day, I'm stressed/tired, I deserve a reward because I work hard" etc etc. You're giving something up which you enjoy (or think you do) and that's a weird thought. It's just learning to retrain your brain though - instead of thinking of AL being a reward, think of a hangover free day as the reward IYSWIM? There's no fun or 'reward' in getting off your face, embarrassing yourself, wasting a load of money and feeling like crap all the next day mentally and physically.

It takes some doing to learn to think that way cos you need to learn to break the cycle but you can do it. You just need to believe you can!