Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 7
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 template Next
    #61
    April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

    patricia;1295127 wrote: Good morning everybody, It's almost four years since I found this site. I've gone back to drinking a bottle of wine most nights and once again, I've had enough. Looked up mywayout on my iphone first thing and the relief that I felt was amazing. Since finding this site things haven't got any worse, but certainly I am still struggling with the fact that I'm drinking more than I should. Just want to be at peace with myself and the world - hope it's okay to join this thread even although it is now the 11 of the month. Reading all the posts makes me realise like I am not on my own . . . . . . . . good luck to everyone . . . .think I'll just take a day at a time for the time being x
    Hi Patricia - of course there is room - a restart is a restart whenever you do it. I am wondering if we should start a restart thread that isn't dated. Maybe after the end of the month - as a supplement to the nest - which can feel overwhelming.
    That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
    Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
    AF - August 20, 2012

    Comment

      #62
      April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

      Thanks for this. I've just been looking through all the threads and your thread dated 04-03-2012 was awesome and so very real to me in so many ways. Said it all really didn't it? I realise a lot has happened since then but it was truly inspirational for me to read - I am very very grateful. x
      Short term goal 7 days AF

      Comment

        #63
        April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

        We get by Patricia. Restarting is really different than the first quit. It's easier I think to give it up, easier to ask for forgiveness if you realize how many of us have failed more than once, you in some ways are better off because you are more self-aware of triggers, and harder because you are much more painfully aware on how much of this is habit or mind-f*ck that you must overcome.

        Nelz has a great mind redirect that I am not caffeinated enough at the moment to remember to deal with the head games but you may hear his, it may not resonate and you may want to develop your own.

        And have all the supplements before you start...give yourself the best restart. :-)
        That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
        Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
        AF - August 20, 2012

        Comment

          #64
          April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

          Hi PF,

          Thanks for this - well day 2 (once again) and I'm still here with resolve strong. Your advice is so welcome, usually day 2 is fine for me and I think I can conquer the world. Today however, I am feeling really tired and struggling to do simple tasks, though not in a big way. Gone I think are the days when day 2 gave me a huge buz and when I felt well. But as I said on a previous post, today I looked in the mirror and saw a slightly more attractive person that the one I looked at yesterday morning. Probably nothing to do with attractiveness but confidence and a sense of achievement - ridiculous really but I never said my brain was wired in a normal manner. Haven't every tried supplements, have always tried to eat very healthly even when drinking but I was surprised to hear that drinking wipes out vitamin C, so I probably haven't been doing myself any favours in that direction either. Anyhow, yesterday I didn't drink, and tonight I am not going to and I'm going to try not to kick myself because I am here again. Thank you so much for responding and good wishes to everybody on this thread (and site). x
          Short term goal 7 days AF

          Comment

            #65
            April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

            I'll bump the supplement thread - but you will surprised at all the things drinking messes up - you are likely extremely off on your B's and Amino's - all of which affect your brain - thinking, irritability, energy, and anxiety.
            That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
            Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
            AF - August 20, 2012

            Comment

              #66
              April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

              Prairie Fairy;1295205 wrote: I wish you and FreeFall didn't feel like you had to have your tail between your legs on the one hand but I do understand - I would feel the same. And that's exactly why when I broke but good - I just abandoned the site. And made my way into a full on bender. The accountability can be good in that it keeps you straight when it's hard to be AL free and bad if you do fall, your shame makes you go away from the support here.

              Don't go away. It won't get better if you go away- it get's worse and as restarters- we all KNOW it.

              I am no different. I white knuckle it. I RUN past the liquor section which I can't avoid - the layout puts it at the front of store and I won't even go past the wine section at the grocery. I won't tempt fate. I am not ready. My shopping list takes me to different stores where the layout allows me to avoid the wine section.

              Regardless - we can do this - it just does get harder. So - here we are. Battered, bruised, but we are not broken. If we were broken we wouldn't have hope and we wouldn't be here.:l
              Freefall back to Freefly

              I relate to everything both of you are saying. I've done the accountability here and the shame faced running from here. LillyE - I totally get the Thailand thing. I've got a trip to Italy coming up in a couple of weeks and it's been in the back of my mind for months and getting in the way of my quit. Going with a friend who's quite "normal" and is definitely not a problem drinker. Trouble is I think I'll be letting her down if I don't join her in a glass of wine. So how stupid is that! Anyway been getting my head round it in the last few days and not bothering me so much.

              Happy to report day 3 down. These few days have been good and the demons haven't been a problem. How nice it would be if it continues that way - so much easier! Must go get some sleep - arranged to meet a friend at 6.30 am for a run!! (lol!)
              You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

              :lilangel:

              Comment

                #67
                April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                Day 3 for me. Hope all is well with everybody. Px
                Short term goal 7 days AF

                Comment

                  #68
                  April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                  Sorry FreeFly - typing on the iPhone instead of the iPad leaves a lot to be desired. :-(

                  Feeling at lose ends tonight which is NOT good. I am already dancing with the devil in my head. Going to have to find something to do to keep out of trouble or I am in trouble.
                  That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                  Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                  AF - August 20, 2012

                  Comment

                    #69
                    April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                    Guys I am not doing great. Not at all. Another bender last night. (Out with friends.) Another hangover. Now my hope of a month before Thailand has turned into hope for two weeks before Thailand. Sigh. I KNOW that's a part of the problem. My booze brain is saying 'well you're going to drink there anyway so what's the point really quitting now'. Excuses I know but I'm recognising them for what they are.

                    So, hungover. Spent too much money. Feel like I babbled embarassingly to someone I barely know. Can't enjoy the sunny day OR get any real work done as feel too yuck. Blah. Alcohol - so fun?

                    Comment

                      #70
                      April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                      The despair I often feel after drinking despite pleading and promising myself I won't comes from knowing the great harm I'm doing myself but feeling totally unable to do anything about it - but we can help ourselves and often we just don't know why it clicks one day and not the other. For me I have a far greater chance sticking like super glue to these boards.

                      Day 4 and feeling strong. Px
                      Short term goal 7 days AF

                      Comment

                        #71
                        April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                        Oh Lilly -

                        Your post took me back to a night that was befor one of my bottoms. I did babble. To the wrong person. And got my ears pinned back harder than they have ever been in that kind of environment before - the next day.

                        Which when hung over, feeling like shit, etc - was horrible.

                        I am sorry your day is crappy. And I know you have a lot of self- examination on your mind before you go to Thailand. XOXO
                        That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                        Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                        AF - August 20, 2012

                        Comment

                          #72
                          April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                          Hi all, day 5 and so grateful. Px
                          Short term goal 7 days AF

                          Comment

                            #73
                            April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                            Hi all, day one for me, feeling a bit rough from yesterdays AL intake but nothing major, looking forward to a sober evening!
                            Taking it ODAT

                            Comment

                              #74
                              April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                              Hi all,

                              Weekend under belt - was restless and little grumpy - however Day 6 and feeling good. Best wishes to all and good luck mauritiusdodo. Px
                              Short term goal 7 days AF

                              Comment

                                #75
                                April Restarts - Lets's do this thing!

                                Well, I am back again and I hope that is the last time I say that. I want to quit drinking more than anything in this life. I know it is robbing me of life and precious time. I know all the things I need to do, by why can't I do them? Something I have experienced this past week is a deep depression. For yrs I have taken Zoloft for depression, but lately I have no energy, I feel like I don't care, just very blah. I don't want to be around anyone. I just feel sad, so sad for the years I've wasted, the nights I can't remember, the lies I've told to drink. I have become someone I don't know or like....is this part of the addiction overtaking me (more than it has). Thanks for listening.
                                Yesterday is experience, tomorrow is hope... today is getting from one to the other.
                                GOAL 1 - 5 days AF
                                GOAL 2 - 10 days AF
                                GOAL 3 - 20 days AF
                                GOAL 4 - 30 days AF
                                GOAL 5 - Set new GOALS

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 template Next
                                Working...
                                X