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I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

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    #1

    I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

    Good afternoon all...I have to say I have been avoiding my computer because I bought more wine and was ashamed to get on. I had a horrible night last night...angry and crying...then I was so mad I almost wanted to take my own life. I am powerless over AL...I grabbed my xanax and wanted to down the whole bottle but I just thought of my kids and it changed my mine....so I took 3 and finally past out...must have worked cuz I didn't get up until 11a.m.

    Somehow I must have had an epiphany because..I woke up and started crying again. I told my DH and he was like absolutely going to stand by yourside. So he got rid of all my wine, beer and bottles we had left over from New Years party. Also, my whole kitchen was accented with wine and grapes...he took it all down. He even took down his case of shot glasses and all the glasses he collected and my wine glasses. Its all gone...no more. Today is day 1 and I am ready.

    I also made myself tell our children my 14 and 11 year old. I wanted to tell them that I thought I had a problem and I need help and support. I cried and cried but it was like such a release. I just needed to not hide it anymore and hold myself accountable.

    Thanks everyone for your support. I love it here.
    Honeysoup :heart:
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    #2
    I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

    The very best of luck to you! Looks like you are heading the right direction!!!
    LostButFound

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      #3
      I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

      Awwwww HoneySoup - love you.
      That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
      Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
      AF - August 20, 2012

      Comment

        #4
        I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

        Wow. Thanks for your post, Hon. Even I can feel the relief that it must be for you to 1) tell the truth; and 2) have your husband so solidly with you. Congratulations!! And, thank you, for hanging in there until a little light could begin to shine through.

        As difficult as it has been, now is when the work really begins. Good thing there is SO much wisdom, so many tools, and so much support to be found here to help you find your way out. Please, read, read, read, read, read, and keep posting, so the incredible people of this amazing forum can help and support you.

        As DoggyGirl says, "If I can do it, you can do it." You CAN do this. I just know it.
        "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

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          #5
          I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

          I have been thinking about you since I read your post. Please reach out anytime. I don't know I can be anything but an ear - but I am glad to be that...
          That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
          Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
          AF - August 20, 2012

          Comment

            #6
            I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

            There you go Honey - you've hit your rock bottom. The only way is up now. Soooooo pleased that your DH is being so supportive, it really helps. Thinking of you x

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              #7
              I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

              What you did HS took courage, and I think was absolutely the right thing to do. As Willow says you are on the up now, keep going, you can do it. Drop in here whenever you need extra support.
              Thinking of you x

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                #8
                I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

                Thank you my friends for your support. I felt great this morning...waking up to my kids smiling faces and enjoying Easter. I have to admit when I went to my grandmas house I was having a great time and then all the sudden. The beast hit me...I told my DH we need to go I am feeling anxious and we did. I came home and took my dog for a walk. I feel much better now but its still really hard getting out of this routine. I have tomorrow off work and I am so relieved bc it will be day 3 and that was the hardest last time. Happy Easter...today has been pretty awesome.
                Honeysoup :heart:

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                  #9
                  I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

                  Hi Honeysoup :l
                  I am so proud of you for opening up to your husband and your kids. Now you don't have to hide anymore, what a relief! You are so lucky to have all that support...so let them help you, even when it feels like you don't want them to. I know I feel much better since I opened up, I recently told my parents the extent of my drinking and that I've quit, and my daughter has known for a while too. Anyway, enjoy your day off and get past day 3, it will get easier. Way to go...you did good!
                  K9
                  :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                  Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I think I lost my mind...temperarily!

                    wow, sorry about the rough night. i know what it feels like to that angry you just want to end it all. congrats on talking about it to you husband and kids, opening up is in my mind one of the hardest things to do, even quitting AL, so congrats on that. it will be alot easier to continue living without AL with them in your corner. stay strong.

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