Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 3
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 template Next
    #1

    Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

    I wish I could hide behind a curtain. I'm not even Catholic, for God's sake. Maybe I wouldn't say that either, if I were religious at all. Preliminaries aside, I have come here to confess, and you clicked on this post to find out why. Here's the rub: I am not infallible. I never thought I was, but I acted as if I were. AL came to take that shit eating grin off my face. Again, I apologize for my language.

    About two weeks ago, I think, I bought a six pack of wine coolers, and drank 2. This week I drank the other four, over two days. Wed. I asked my bf, against his will, to pick me up another six pack, and I drank those over two days. Tonight I bought a large bottle of white zin and have consumed over half the bottle, bf drank about 1/2 a glass.

    Even at the supermarket, I "almost" said, put that bottle of wine back, I'm not buying it...but after the checker ran it through, I thought, too late. LOL, and here I am, buzzed. I'm not drinking any more tonight, and have switched to diet pepsi, but I know this cannot continue. Hence, my confession.

    Please kick my ass and help me get back to the mind set I had when I first came here. AL is a sneaky bastard, and I don't want him in my life anymore.


    "I like people too much or not at all."     Sylvia Plath
    Tags: None
    #2
    Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

    Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful they say.
    Love and Peace,
    Phil


    Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

    Comment

      #3
      Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

      I'm so sorry, Library Girl! But you set a great example to those of us just starting out (and I'm a former librarian, no less) - not that that's much of a comfort to you. I've been sober for all of three days so far - first time in at least ten years. Hasn't been as bad as I thought (yet) except for the withdrawal symptoms but you remind me that I shouldn't get complacent. I've been reading a ton and don't want to sound too touchy-feely but do you remember what you were thinking/feeling when you decided to pick up those first wine coolers? What was the trigger? I'm trying to avoid such pitfalls myself. Grateful for any guidance and thanks for being so honest! https://www.mywayout.org/community/im...es/newhere.gif

      Comment

        #4
        Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

        :b&d: There ya go LG!

        I did what you did for years until I finally hit the damn wall, decided that I truly would do anything to quit & fortunately found MWO!

        The only way to be successful is to commit yourself!
        I did not go to AA but many here do - have you considered that?

        I found the MWO Hypno CDs to be very powerful in helping me to seal my commitment. Have you tried them?

        Identifying your triggers is big! Write it all out in your plan & use the Tool box ideas to find non-AL ways to handle life's issues.

        You can do this if you really want to - we're here for you
        Lav
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

        Comment

          #5
          Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

          I have considered AA Lavande, but it was always a place I thought I didn't really belong. For one thing, I am not religious, and I think it is a faith based healing sort of thing. It still may be something I should consider. Not sure.

          As to the question asked about triggers...the first trigger was getting angry (at my bf...), then after that first drink, it was like a gateway. That is, it seemed "ok" to just go ahead. Also, I'm not one to look to as a mentor. I have only been AF for 39 days totally, before I drank again.

          Anyway, I'm about to go to bed. Early morning tomorrow, and plan to work at the flea
          market tomorrow.


          "I like people too much or not at all."           Sylvia Plath

          Comment

            #6
            Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

            Hey LG, do you have a Smart Recovery group near you. I tried everything before hitting my rock bottom and Smart Recovery helped me like nothing else did. It is based on cognitive behavior therapy and helps you change your ways of thinking. I found it worked for me because i need real things to do in order to change and it gave me those options.

            I also learned you HAVE to commit to NO DRINKING NO MATTER WHAT. Life happens, good and bad, and we cant drink to fix any of it. It cant even be an option. When the thought comes up you have to say no. It takes ALOT of practice but when you know its not even a possibility it becomes pretty natural. Not to say that the thoughts dont still pop up, but they are pretty easy to dismiss now. And you know what? Things i thought i could never deal with, I can, and without a hangover the next day, guilt or anguish about what I did while drinking the problem away (hahaha the problem never did go away after drinking).

            Short answer, you have to make a 1000% commitment to being and staying sober. I know you can do it!
            AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

            Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

            Comment

              #7
              Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

              Aw, LG, well done for being honest - and for coming here to speak. Isn't that so much better than before when you had no outlet and no-one you could tell who would understand? And there, already you have something to be thankful for! And there's no judgement here. And it isn't over and you haven't failed so long as you just don't stop stopping. Maybe it sounds counter-intuitive, but something I've learned over the past year is that the worst thing I can do is to not forgive myself - to keep on beating myself up for every mistake. So, you stuffed up. It's not the end of the world. Forgive yourself and then recognise that you're still in a better place because YOU'RE HERE, on this forum. Which means you're still determined to keep trying. Big hugs to you, my friend. It's okay - tomorrow is another day. You will get there.....
              If you always think what you've always thought,
              You'll always feel what you've always felt.
              If you always feel what you've always felt,
              You'll always do what you've always done.
              If you always do what you've always done,
              You'll always get what you've always got.


              3 Days AF = DONE
              6 Days AF = DONE
              14 Days AF = DONE
              21 Days AF = DONE
              28 Days AF = DONE
              30 Days AF = DONE
              60 Days AF = hmm, much bigger gap to this goal, but let's see if ODAAT works for this one too....

              Comment

                #8
                Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                Sorry - to someone with only 3 days AL free 39 days seems pretty impressive.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                  Thank you for the loving support everyone.:h 8, I didn't mean to be dismissive, I just didn't feel like I was anyone to look up to last night, but I do appreciate that I might have been helpful to you.:l

                  The good thing is, I didn't drink nearly as much as I could have. Over this failure of the last two weeks, I have not overindulged, and for that much I'm grateful. I did wake up feeling a bit under the weather, and for that I attribute to the wine, so no more!

                  Day One!


                  "I like people too much or not at all."                   Sylvia Plath

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                    LibraryGirl;1296641 wrote: Thank you for the loving support everyone.:h 8, I didn't mean to be dismissive, I just didn't feel like I was anyone to look up to last night, but I do appreciate that I might have been helpful to you.:l

                    The good thing is, I didn't drink nearly as much as I could have. Over this failure of the last two weeks, I have not overindulged, and for that much I'm grateful. I did wake up feeling a bit under the weather, and for that I attribute to the wine, so no more!

                    Day One!
                    Its just like Deja Vu all over again. LOL IMO the "stumbling" save for a very few incredible individuals, is a very normal part of the process. You have to keep in mind, we didnt get this way overnight, we probably wont be fixed over night.


                    Im with Lav, I started and stopped more times than a calculator could ever figure out. I hit "the wall" and viola, knock on wood, so far so good.

                    Id suggest against beating yourself up over it....you made a mistake, you know it, let it go, and most of all LEARN from it. Use this "catholic guilt" feeling, remember EXACTLY what that feels like, and the next urge that hits, re visit what it feels like.

                    You had a great run at some AF time, which tells me you CAN do it again.....I just know it. We all "can" do it, it really is just a matter of wanting it bad enough.


                    Good luck, and MUCH strength for the next set of urges that are bound to come your way....../tosses LG some garlic, a silver bullet, and some holy water That should help ya
                    Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




                    DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                      Nelz;1296650 wrote: Its just like Deja Vu all over again. LOL IMO the "stumbling" save for a very few incredible individuals, is a very normal part of the process. You have to keep in mind, we didnt get this way overnight, we probably wont be fixed over night.
                      True - humbling - and true.

                      It takes courage to say "Last night? That was not me. That was not good enough. And I am go to try again"

                      It takes courage to pick up, dust off, and say - "Well then, let's do this. I am better than AL.". And step back into the ring.

                      So - you got up this morning - came back HERE and did the equivalent of sliding through the ropes. Grab your gloves. There are a lot of rounds to fight before any victor is declared.

                      We are all fighting this same fight. We have all lost rounds. We are here with you. We will even stitch up cuts over your eye if you need it.

                      Just one thing - don't do what so many of us have done - if you lose a round - don't leave the ring.
                      That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                      Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                      AF - August 20, 2012

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                        I left the ring - I spent months getting worse not better. I can't get those months back. I only wish I could.
                        That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                        Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                        AF - August 20, 2012

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                          Hi LG (& all)
                          I'm kinda in the same boat!
                          I had been AF (save a few sips of champagne on Easter and wine another night - only sips and that was all) for 2 weeks but last night I had some beers while out with friends.

                          I guess we do stumble and that's trying as well. It's tiring!
                          But we're both starting off and learning; allowing our minds to be changed little by little; and Trying! I wonder how many stumbles there will be but at least at MWO we're in a safe place and getting the needed support and words of wisdom.

                          To better days, I cheers to you with my coffee!!
                          LBF
                          LostButFound

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                            Hey LG
                            I started reading Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale. You seem a lot like me and maybe this book would be helpful for you, too. It's not the regular self-help book. Even after reading the first few chapters I was successfully AF for 2 weeks.
                            Well, today it's back to hangover-city so I, of course, will be picking it back up and continuing.
                            I can't do AA either. I have a friend in it but it's just not for me.

                            Here's the book link if you're interested:
                            Amazon.com: Kick the Drink...Easily! (9781845903909): Jason Vale: Books
                            LostButFound

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Confession. Can We Keep it Anonymous? LOL

                              Lavande;1296468 wrote: :b&d: There ya go LG!

                              Lav
                              LOL - can I have one too please Lav
                              You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

                              :lilangel:

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 template Next
                              Working...
                              X