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    #1

    AF for 2 weeks, then...

    Hi All
    We stumble. We fall. We get back up. We try again.
    I was AF for 2 weeks. After the initial withdrawal from a hangover (as that's the only withdrawal symptoms I had) I was very successful with being AF.
    No true cravings but there were head-games. Fear of quitting, fear of others reactions, etc. But that began to subside, too.
    For whatever reason (and we all know how it is) I relapsed and went to a happy hour with friends and drank last night. I was pretty buzzed but not sloppy - somehow I held it together until I got home, then I was stumbly.

    Guilt. Remorse. Hangover. Heavy depression. Self-loathing. Disgust. No self-worth. That's what I'm going through right now.
    The difference today compared to other hangover mornings is that if I could do 2 weeks I can do so again and hopefully more.
    I started off thinking I wouldn't binge (as that's my problem more than daily AL) when I went AF but I'm just kidding myself.
    I feel like staying in bed all day and just sleep the day away the depression gets so bad over this. It's an overcast cold day here and of course I have things to do - but...

    I need some words of encouragement and some help:upset:
    LostButFound
    Tags: None
    #2
    AF for 2 weeks, then...

    Hang in there LBF

    We just have to figure out how to avoid letting this happen. I'm still proud of my 107 days and I know I can do this. We all do stumble and fall-let's get back up and get on with it.

    In my case I just have to stay away from the situations, and NOT care about what anyone thinks. I really don't care what they think but in the back of my mind I feel like I'm just deficient in some way. NOT TRUE.

    Take care and please don't let this derail your progress! Stay strong!

    Comment

      #3
      AF for 2 weeks, then...

      Thanks Ann! I don't want to be defeated. I do want to make progress!!
      LostButFound

      Comment

        #4
        AF for 2 weeks, then...

        Hi Lost,

        Two weeks is great Well done! Don't waste any time beating yourself up. You're feeling poisoned right now so your head will play games with you. Don't indulge those thoughts. Give yourself a balm day - be kind to yourself, lay in bed, watch a movie, have a bath, try a little food and then move on forward. Tomorrow can always be another AF day and as quickly as you felt like sh***, just as quickly you'll feel great Onwards and upwards
        You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

        :lilangel:

        Comment

          #5
          AF for 2 weeks, then...

          Hi Free -
          Thanks for the encouragement! Physically I'm not feeling as lousy as my mood.
          I do beat myself up but I will try to work on the positive aspect of moving forward plus lesson learned. I did 2 weeks. Now I want to try 3 (at least!).
          LostButFound

          Comment

            #6
            AF for 2 weeks, then...

            Lost,

            Beating oneself up is a complete and utter waste of time! I think it keeps us in the bad place too. Everything can change in an instant but it's our thoughts that keep us where we don't want to be. So choose well dear friend, and visualise that 3 week feeling. It's only a thought away!

            You're doing great
            You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

            :lilangel:

            Comment

              #7
              AF for 2 weeks, then...

              Ps. We teach best what we most need to learn - LOL!
              You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

              :lilangel:

              Comment

                #8
                AF for 2 weeks, then...

                Hey Lost

                Don't beat yourself up ... We have all been there and probably much worse. I'm only on day 4 and I'm struggling today . . One of the people in my shared house has had a party today and they have all gone out and left loads of opened bottles of wine, beer etc ... and I've been tempted. I've thought to ...it will be ok if I only have one .... but I'm trying to be strong.
                Just take tomorrow as the first day .... and if no one has been hurt sorry about the cliches but don't cry over spilt milk ... just try and learn from it and concentrate on that day not the past.

                Berner
                AF 20-05-2012

                Comment

                  #9
                  AF for 2 weeks, then...

                  Struggling with everyone here today. Utterly betrayed by the ex and wanting to drown it all away. But I know as mad as I am - it's going to make me a mean mean person who won't remember what I did/said - so I just did a MASSIVE dose of witching hour potion - and I am trying to wait it out. I am praying that in a half hour the monkey chatter will have died down to a dull roar and I can do something productive.
                  That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                  Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                  AF - August 20, 2012

                  Comment

                    #10
                    AF for 2 weeks, then...

                    PF...stay strong! Drinking 'AT' someone never does anything to help the situation...and ends up biting you in the butt. As bad as you want them to hurt, it only hurts you. Wishing you strength! Byrdie
                    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                    Tool Box
                    Newbie's Nest

                    Comment

                      #11
                      AF for 2 weeks, then...

                      Lost, Don,t be hard on yourself! We have all done it! Look what u have achieved.You now know u can do it! So you slipped. Look at why it happened and how you would deal with al being around in the future. Keep close and just get back on track with getting al out of your life. Try to think about the positives of being af and don,t dwell to much on your slip.............except what u can learn from it! Good Luck.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        AF for 2 weeks, then...

                        Hi folks
                        While my depression is pretty extensive I got out of the house and went to the mall and dinner with a friend. It was a good time even if I am a wee bit self-loathing.
                        I will keep trying!!
                        xo
                        LBF
                        LostButFound

                        Comment

                          #13
                          AF for 2 weeks, then...

                          Lost, Can you get something from your dr to help with the depression? There is one thing I have found from MWO and that is (for me anyway) as you notch up more A/F days the cravings get less intense. I went out last night to a dinner and drank bitters, lime and soda! It was great and I remembered everything the next day! Hang in there! Stay close to MWO read and read and................yes read more posts. We have all been their at some stage, so pick yourself up again and start your journey to be free of al for life! XXX Don,t forget 2 weeks is one hell of an effort u can be proud of!!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            AF for 2 weeks, then...

                            Lost, I know just how you feel been there so many times, my husband calls it self harming, because I have done it repeatedly and then beat myself up for days for it, it's not worth it try to let it go and be proud of your previous sobriety.
                            .

                            Comment

                              #15
                              AF for 2 weeks, then...

                              LBF -
                              I know you're feeling bad right now, but please keep your chin up. Guilt is a wasted emotion (imo) but I know it's hard not to feel that way. You can and will start over. Maybe your episode was just what you needed to give you new resolve. Lord knows I started over more times than I can count. It finally clicked that I don't want to poison myself anymore. The very fact that your body is so resistant against it should be a huge sign, but of course us drinkers don't want to listen to that at first. Be kind to yourself today, and get right back at it. Never quit quitting. You can do this, I have faith in you!
                              K9
                              :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                              Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                              Comment

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