Hi, I have been looking at this site for a few days, and think it's just what I need to give me some support and talk to people in the same stage of their lives. I'm a mum with teenage kids (seem to be a lot of us on this site!). I've drunk since I was 13, I remember it made me feel more confident and fun. I was very shy and had critical parents, so a drink brought me out of myself. I drank cider and vodka all through my teens and twenties, often to the point of being sick or passing out, but it wasn't every day, more like what they now call binge drinking. Probably most weekends I had a bad night. I met and married a man who loved a drink, even more than me, and we socialised only with drinkers. Anyone who didn't drink seemed boring. We are still together but over the years we have had some shaky times (as most couples do) and I suppose the drinking contributed to some of those times. Whenever I was emotionally upset or going through bad times I would drink much, much more. And so would he. My husband is great and as I say, we are still together, but he would completely disagree with me on all this. He thinks neither of us have a problem and I am just being silly and neurotic, he also thinks it would'nt be good fun if either of us gave up. What has made me come here? The last year has been one of incredible stress for many different family reasons and we both started drinking much more. I don't actually drink that much for it to have an effect, a heavy night I might drink a bottle of wine or a bottle of wine plus 2 gins. That's as much as I can take without being sick. I would do that about twice a week, talk crap to my kids, get tetchy with my husband and feel like s**t the next day, beating myself up about my lack of willpower. Of the other 5 days in the week I would have half a bottle of wine most nights. Sometimes I sneak a slug of sherry or gin at 5pm if I feel very anxious. Recently I've noticed that I've been very depressed, anxious and have jittery feelings much of the time. I've been attending a CBT therapist to help me deal with the stresses of the last year, but only lately I've wondered if perhaps the alcohol drip feeding habit has been contributing to these negative emotions. When I read threads from this site I saw that it was a possibility. This is Saturday and I haven't had a drink since Tuesday night. My husband would like to cut down a bit, but he has had wine every night this week. I would like to say I feel great, but I have had headaches and trouble sleeping. I have woken in the middle of the night feeling my muscles a bit jumpy and my head aching. But it hasn't felt unbearable, just like im a bit under the weather. Is this normal? Unfortunately I'm off on hols tomorrow (bad timing) with a girlfriend and we are going to an all inclusive hotel, so the temptation will be hard to resist. Luckily she is not a big drinker so I may be able to control myself to just one glass of something per night. My aim is to do a month detox and assess how I physically and mentally feel after that. Do I feel that I am better able to deal with life? Am I less anxious, do I have more energy etc? If so then my ultimate aim would be to be a VERY moderate drinker, ie to have a social glass of wine with friends once a week and be AF the rest of the time. Sorry to have rambled on, but it is helpful to put it down in words. Hope to continue on this site and chat to some of you at some time.
Comment