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    #1

    Just a Total Mess

    Here goes my story
    I am 37 now been drinking heavy for about the last 5 years, mostly hard liquor. I am a slim female , and its atleast a fifth or more a night.
    I lurked all last night , thinking if i should join or not. I did!
    Last night was my many attempts at being sober!
    I have something for the shakes otherwise i just feel like , think alot know the feeling
    Just the stuff this poison has made me do and regret. i am in alot of guilt right now.or feeling many forms of it!
    I want some liquor so bad right now, just to feel normal..ughhh
    Thanks for reading
    Tags: None
    #2
    Just a Total Mess

    Hi Kitty and :welcome: I am so glad you decided to post! I remember feeling very alone and lost myself when I kept googling and googling and trying to figure out whether or not I had a problem with alcohol, and what to do about it. I was very afraid. I was afraid to try to keep drinking, and afraid to try to stop.

    I felt a real connection when I found My Way Out and starting reading all the posts. I hope you find that connection too. It was very difficult to give up drinking, but I have never regreted the decision to get alcohol out of my life. My life is so much better today than it ever was with alcohol such a big part of it.

    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

    The toolbox thread is a great place to start.

    Wishing you well on your journey!

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

    One day at a time.

    Comment

      #3
      Just a Total Mess

      :welcome: KittayKat.

      You've just made a gigantic step today by reaching out for help. Believe me when I say that we have all walked in your shoes at one time or another.

      Not going to overwhelm you with advise just wanted to say my hellos and welcomes.

      Check out the tool box link to get you started.

      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

      Keep reading, keep posting and so glad you found us.

      J x
      :l
      It could be worse, I could be filing.
      AF since 7/7/2009

      Comment

        #4
        Just a Total Mess

        Welcome Kitty:welcome:
        As others have said, the tool box is a great place to start. Also you could join us in the Newbies Nest, in the Just Starting out section. You'll find lots of support from people there.
        Look forward to "seeing" you around.

        Comment

          #5
          Just a Total Mess

          Thanks everyone. Really All i have is a few friends and they have there own lives and its hard to let someone know your problems all the time
          Looks like I have found a great place just from reading all the posts.
          And too think I always thought I would never be that one that had an addiction problem.
          Went to an AA meeting a while back and there was around 40 people there. The enivoronment wasnt from me even though first thing When I mention to my friends , they say well just try AA, its like its the only thing that is known.

          Comment

            #6
            Just a Total Mess

            Hi KittyKat,

            Welcome to MWO, this is a good place
            Yuo will find lots of company, understanding & support here. Just wanted to mention the Newbies Nest thread. Drop in there & stay there as long as you need a hand

            It's true that most people know nothing more than AA, most doctors don't know more either.
            That's why I love the support system here. I have kicked AL out of my life & am much happier & healthier. You can do it too!!!!

            Wishing you the best!
            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment

              #7
              Just a Total Mess

              Thanks LAV
              What a hard day to pick to give up alcohol on a saturday. I would have been drunk by now but I am not.
              I will like some of the posts on here say, look at the stupid things that have happened while drinking and that helps ALOT.

              Comment

                #8
                Just a Total Mess

                Hey Kitty Kat

                I wish you well on your journey. It is very hard but gee it's harder to deal with drinking and all of the problems it brings.

                I knew when I was your age I knew I should quit and did not. That was a long time ago and man I wish I had.

                Hang in there and be strong. It's all up to you no matter what anyone else thinks.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Just a Total Mess

                  Kitty - any day of the week is perfect to quit drinking - really
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Just a Total Mess

                    Ann

                    Thanks, Im still holding on, its hard, at 9pm the liquor stores close , now that voice in my head wants beer or wine to make up for it.ugghhhh
                    I will just keep watching TV and reading posts
                    Not much else to do, if you do go out its usually drinking involved.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Just a Total Mess

                      Kitty cat Lost, This is not about other people and how they view your drinking habits. This is about you and getting better! There are many of us who have experienced the depression,anxiety and guilt that goes with al. I was at my lowest just 3 weeks ago when I raced of to my DR in desperation and pleaded with him for help!! I admitted to him I was an Alcoholic and had to do something to stop my drinking otherwise I felt I would die in the not to distant future. He placed me on AB and I have had 1 glass of wine in almost 3 weeks. Normally I would have 1 to 1.5 bottles a day!!Tried Campral and Nal but they did nothing for me. AB is brutal if you drink. There is no other option,you just can,t drink unless u want to be very sick and possibly hospitalised from the reaction to taking al into your system! Explore all the options that are available to you, talk to your Dr, and stay close to MWO. Really, without MWO and all the great people on this site I would still be drinking. Good Luck Kitty. I am sending my strength to you.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Just a Total Mess

                        Hi Kitty, hope you managed to stay clear of booze last night. To say I understand you is an understatement , I'm only on day three but I really feel so much better. I wish I had realised at your age what a problem I had, but it took many years of heartache of stopping and starting, soul searching and slips and then I gave up for years, then I thought I could drink moderately, big mistake, I was back to sqare one. Now my intention has to be abstension. I wish you well, and am certain if you really want to you can do it.
                        .

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Just a Total Mess

                          Hi Boozer, well done on three weeks. I tried ab successfully a few years ago, but can't take it now due to a heart condition, it really is good for the short term until you are confident enough to be able to say no to al. Good luck.
                          .

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Just a Total Mess

                            hi kitty,
                            well done!! im still trying to actually say right thats it enoughs enough!! my headsaying it and my purse!! im going to get there....xx

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Just a Total Mess

                              Hi Kitty,
                              Welcome to MWO. How did your weekend go? Like Lav said, ANY day is a good day to quit drinking. I know I've always quit on a Friday, I figured I'd get the first 3 days and the first weekend over all at once (those seem to be the hardest). I hope you keep posting so that we can join you on your journey. You will not regret getting sober. Glad to have you here!
                              K9
                              :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                              Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                              Comment

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