Hi All,
As you can see from the date, this isn't my first time as a member of MWO, but I'm hoping that this will be the last first day back! Having been AF for 6 months back in 2008/9 which I loved, I gradually turned to moderation which gradually sank back to too much too often, and finally back to a bottle of wine a day. Another 3 years have gone, much of which has been wasted time, looking at life from the bottom of a bottle. I kept a journal during the good times, and in it I wrote that if I returned to my old habits, it was a choice I was making, as now I knew I could stop and how much I liked being sober. How then, did I let it get back to this? Back to waking up with regrets, facing the day with a sluggish mind and negative attitude; trying to piece together the events of the night before and hoping I have nothing to apologise for; the endless arguments in my head throughout the day of whether to drink again that night or not - and the recognition of that point when the argument was lost. Anyway, I need to accept once and for all that I don't control my alcohol consumption - it controls me. So my choice now is to face the challenge and start again on this journey to freedom from alcohol. There are many inspiring people on this site whom I congratulate and thank - your stories make this seem possible, and I want to be one of you!!! So day 1, and round 1 to me - I'm back on MWO and ready to fight!
As you can see from the date, this isn't my first time as a member of MWO, but I'm hoping that this will be the last first day back! Having been AF for 6 months back in 2008/9 which I loved, I gradually turned to moderation which gradually sank back to too much too often, and finally back to a bottle of wine a day. Another 3 years have gone, much of which has been wasted time, looking at life from the bottom of a bottle. I kept a journal during the good times, and in it I wrote that if I returned to my old habits, it was a choice I was making, as now I knew I could stop and how much I liked being sober. How then, did I let it get back to this? Back to waking up with regrets, facing the day with a sluggish mind and negative attitude; trying to piece together the events of the night before and hoping I have nothing to apologise for; the endless arguments in my head throughout the day of whether to drink again that night or not - and the recognition of that point when the argument was lost. Anyway, I need to accept once and for all that I don't control my alcohol consumption - it controls me. So my choice now is to face the challenge and start again on this journey to freedom from alcohol. There are many inspiring people on this site whom I congratulate and thank - your stories make this seem possible, and I want to be one of you!!! So day 1, and round 1 to me - I'm back on MWO and ready to fight!
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