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In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

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    #1

    In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

    Dear All,

    I never thought I would find myself in the current state that I am in. I have been drinking for around 10yrs and slowly but surely things have spiralled downwards...

    I have in the past three days had two bottles of wine and 1L bottle of gin. As a result of feeling so down I couldn't bring myself to go into work.

    I well and truly am in a soul crushed state in which nothing holds no meaning anymore - I feel so angry at myself for giving way into drink...

    After some serious self reflection I have come to the conclusion I must give up this poison. Not only for myself but for my family. So far I have managed to hide this affliction from them.

    So kind souls I come here seeking your support. Today is day 1 for me. I hope this is truly a step towards life long soberity.
    Tags: None
    #2
    In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

    good luck with it Solace ,drinking is shit!

    Comment

      #3
      In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

      Hi solace, I love your name by the way xx

      Welcome to MWO, you have our support in bucketfulls, read read read! Here is a good place to start https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

      Looking forward to getting to know you!
      "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

      AF 10th May 2010
      NF 12th May 2010

      Comment

        #4
        In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

        Hi solace, what is your family situation and are you M or F (just being nosey really!) Have you got a plan? I have been drinking heavily for around 20 years but my drinking has definitely got worse over the years and I have been on a downward spiral for about the last year and currently drinking one to two bottles wine a day sometimes more. Wishing you much luck on your journey :welcome:
        Taking it ODAT

        Comment

          #5
          In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

          Thank you limers. I agree drinking is sh&t! After a session it saps the very life out of you.

          Comment

            #6
            In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

            one2many;1298757 wrote: Hi solace, I love your name by the way xx

            Welcome to MWO, you have our support in bucketfulls, read read read! Here is a good place to start https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

            Looking forward to getting to know you!
            Hi there! I certainly will be checking that thread out! As for the name - I guess it came to me as I spent the greater part of today wallowing in depression

            I too look forward to getting to know you

            Comment

              #7
              In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

              Welcome!

              Hi Solace,

              Welcome, and the first thing to realise is that here, you're not alone. There's a whole community here who have been in exactly the same place as you are now, and personally I think it takes this point of desperation to give you the strength of mind, body and soul to take the first step out of the abyss as you have today - congratulations - because without a day one, you'll never get to a day 2. Every person who has had months and years of sobriety all had the 1st day experience, so take time to read their inspiring stories. If you haven't read the book it's worth getting - I think you can even download it now - and there is a wealth of advice on how others made it through the first days.

              I started at day one again just 3 days ago - but know how wonderful it was to be sober and regain control of my life - how I let that go is another story, but suffice to say I'm determined this time to make it stick - I don't want any more day 1s, so we're travelling the same road and I look forward to travelling some of it together!

              It's time for you now - look after yourself, be proud of taking this first step, take all the support you need from here, read, read, read and keep posting - you're amongst friends here, so :welcome:
              :rays: Arial

              Last first day - 15th April 2012
              Goals:
              Days 1-7 DONE
              Days 8-14 DONE
              Days 15-21 DONE
              30 days DONE
              60 days
              100 days

              Comment

                #8
                In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                mauritiusdodo;1298759 wrote: Hi solace, what is your family situation and are you M or F (just being nosey really!) Have you got a plan? I have been drinking heavily for around 20 years but my drinking has definitely got worse over the years and I have been on a downward spiral for about the last year and currently drinking one to two bottles wine a day sometimes more. Wishing you much luck on your journey :welcome:
                Thank you mauri! As of yet I don't have a plan. All this is new to me. I came across MWO this morning...

                I'm a 33yr old male who lives with family - keep meaning to move out, but given the current state of affairs I don't think it would be a good idea to be on my own.

                I used to drink beer, but around about a year or so ago I started on the spirits. I'd hide the stuff in my room. The funny thing is that I'd only drink on the Friday. However, when I hit the spirits I found that I'd end up drinking the next day until the bottle was finished. Looking back I've wasted so much time which could have been better spent. I thought I was a man of strong disposition. However, I cannot for the life of me fathom how far I fallen. I truly have hit what is know as 'rock bottom'. And these feelings I currently am experiencing really really scare me.

                Comment

                  #9
                  In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                  Hi Solace,

                  Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!!!!
                  I felt the exact same way whenI joined here three years ago but all that's changed now. Kicking AL out of my life has made all the difference. You'll find lots of company & support here. Please be sure to read the MWO book, you can download it right from the Health store here.

                  Please drop I the Newbies Nest thread for more support
                  Wishing you the best!

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                    Thank you Ariel for those kind words. I too would like to walk this path with you. Last year it managed to say sober for around close to a month. But this relapse I've experienced if far more worse. I definitely shall be reading and will be posting too. Thank you for welcoming me.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                      Thank you Lavande. I'll be sure to listen to the audiobook.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                        Hi Solace!
                        I just wanted to say welcome and I'm glad you're here! We've all felt the despair you have described, some worse than others, but all to some degree. I know I felt like I would never get off this roller-coaster of self-destruction, but I did...and you CAN too! Please stick close and keep posting!
                        K9
                        :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                        Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                          Thank you K9Lover for your kind words. I have been reading a lot of threads on this forum. I find it a great place to be. People supporting one another on their road to recovery.
                          I too want to get away from this lonely dark place (one I'm currently experiencing). These past few sessions have really taken it out of me. The dread and depression after yesterdays drinking session has really ebbed away at my self worth. I always have been strong for others, but I faltered today when I needed to be strong for myself. I just pray and hope that my siblings do not follow me down this path of self destruction. I really don't want them to know I suffer from this affliction.

                          I don't think what I've experienced today I have experienced in my life up until now.

                          I really am dreading going into work tomorrow...:sofa:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            In a Lonely Place...(Day 1)

                            Solace welcome
                            I really struggled with the first few days AF but I am now on day 54. This site is great, just read and learn more, post and check out the Tool Box. You will find loads of support here 24/7. Why not post in the Newbies Nest with other people starting out on their AF journey.

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