Friend wants me to drink!!!

[Trixiebelle]

Ok, so we all had a big party last night and yours truly went overboard again - I'm a binge drinker, so at least once a week I drink to the point where I can't remember what happened.

The trouble is we are going out with the same mob tonight and it's my friends birthday (I just celebrated a day early) She really wants me to drink champagne with her, and I told her I wasn't drinking - she got quite firm and told me I was, even though she has another bestie there too.

What to do???

She's a lovely person, though I get annoyed because she will not tolerate me NOT drinking. Sometimes I have to trick her into thinking I'm drinking just to shut her up.:upset:

[LibraryGirl]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

I'm sorry but she doesn't sound very lovely to me. "She won't tolerate my not drinking" is a HUGE problem. Your sobriety is worth more than any "friend" and especially one who doesn't support your efforts. I don't mean to belittle your relationship with your friend, but I'd say the same even if it were your family. You need to distance yourself from people who can't OR won't support you. If you think it might work, you need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with your friend. That is, you need to tell her EXACTLY why you have chosen to stop AL, and that you need her support or otherwise you will not be able to spend time with her. It is essential that you not let others ruin your efforts, because there are so many other things beyond our control that will try and derail you as well.

Good luck with your friend. Look at it this way, you've already "celebrated early" as you said, so you can (with a good conscience) opt out of tonight's celebration.

[rebirth]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

Hi Trixie,
Its so dangerous to drink till you black out. I did that so many times in the past and I was lucky not to have killed myself. You hear stories of people choking on their own vomit, falling down the stairs, drowing in the river etc

If your drinking is making you very unhappy then you need to start taking action. If it your friend doesnt understand then you need to avoid her. I had to avoid alot of my drinking buddies when I when I stopped drinking for five months. Some of them didnt understand and I just found them to be selfish for thinking that.

[Trixiebelle]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

:agreed:

Thanks Library Girl and Rebirth,

I already knew what responses I'd get, I totally agree.

She is lovely while she isn't drinking, once she starts its a different story.

This for me, its the hardest part of giving up AL, I explained to my hubby (a very heavy drinker) yesterday why I wanted to give it up - I told him that we were both addicted to AL and he agreed, though he won't do anything about it.

I hate this situation.ull - and after 32 years of pretty solid drinking, I just don't want to do it anymore, I want to feel well and get fit.

Won't be easy, we live in a very small community where everyone drinks - and pretty heavily, I will have to act like I'm drinking just to avoid the questions, though I suppose whatever it takes.

[rebirth]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

Hi Trixie,

Can imagine the peer pressure you are under but you need to start thinking of the underlying health problems AL can give you.

Isnt it bizarre how we live in a society that says if you dont drink you are weird? Yet alcohol is a serious drug and abusing it creates so many problems in the family, at work etc. Many crimes are alcohol related, car accidents etc. The list goes on...Its nuts!

[K9Lover]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

Hi Trixie,

I'm lucky in that I don't have any drinking buddies, I was a loner when I drank, which is sad in itself! I can't imagine the pressure to drink, but my 2 cents is that you should just be honest with your friend. Tell her you feel sick when you drink and you don't like what it's doing to your health. A real friend won't pressure you to pour poison down your throat. I know it's probably easier said than done (as most things are), but you should at least give it a try. I agree with Rebirth, drinking to the blackout/pass out stage is a VERY dangerous thing. I was at that point daily when I finally quit. When you pass out, it's your body making a choice between keeping you AWAKE and ALIVE because it's at the point where it can't do BOTH! Scary when you think of it like that. Good luck with your friends, stay strong and don't let other people determine what you do. Wishing you strength!
K9

[Trixiebelle]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

I hadn't thought of it that way (the body making the choice) K9!!

I think the biggest problem is I am surrounded by heavy drinkers. My husband is a very heavy drinker, though he can down heaps and still seem normal - that's scary. Everyone else in this little beach side village drinks daily and a LOT!! I feel like a weakling not standing up to them.

I am thinking of taking some meds.

[LibraryGirl]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

Maybe you could suggest a doc appt for both you and your hub so you can get an expert's opinion on what AL might have done/be doing to you/him. Just because everyone's doing it, doesn't mean you have to either. LOL, didn't your mom or someone tell you that when you were little? If Susie jumped off a bridge would you do the same?:H

[KittyKatLost]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

I too was a loner when I drank, I think I liked it better that way, i could wear what I want listen to what I want and not worry too too much about someone that couldnt really handle their liquor, granted I haave done things I regret !

I did try one of the AA meetings well went for a few times and met a person who claimed he was sober and drank just as much as me, would leave beer cans under my bed I had a 2 bedroom home. It was good at the time, since would relate, but he did not care at all it seemed for his kids he would start crying and I told him go home. But it was a place to drink every night. ughh i hate even thinking about it.

[Lavande]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

Trixie,

I am 58 years old & I'm here to tell you something......
Peer pressure is one thing when you are a preteen or teenager but it just doesn't cut it as an excuse for me with adults. As adults we drink because we choose to drink!

Dare to be different! Be the one who chooses to not drink with your husband and with your friends. Tell them the truth that you feel better when you don't drink & leave it at that. We do not owe anyone any further explanations

Be your own best friend!!!!

[KittyKatLost]

Friend wants me to drink!!!

Your right
Its day 14 and I am hoping I right but , wow a trigger got to me and just I know that drink will take all the pain away....