Back again and pregnant!

[goingsobermum]

I'm finding this hard to write as I feel like a stupid moron. I started coming here in the summer and a couple of times managed a week AF but not more. I have 3 kids (8, 4 and 14months) I am still breastfeeding the last and have managed to get early nights of to a tee to leave time for a bottle of wine a night. A bottle or 2 has been the habit of the last 15 years although it has been better since having the kids, days with mega hangovers and kids just don't mix for me. I didn't drink much when pregnant but I did drink some wine, it didn't help that my first ob/gyny here in france was adamant about no smoking but drinking in moderation was okay. Anyway I'v just found out I'm expecting baby number 4 which is exciting and worrying too. Part of me wants to quit completely but part of me wants to carry on. I know all the risks but that part of me that wants to drink doesn't give a stuff. How do I get rid of that part of me? I'm sure that part of me has jumped on my self esteem too and replaced it with a craving for a drink. I've been really grumpy the last few days and have had a couple of drinks to calm me down. Luckily I feel pretty sick so the desire to drink a lot is diminished. Last week I just thought I felt sick from too much drinking so was trying the hair of the dog trick on it. No more I have to get through a few days AF then it should be okay. You always imagine it must be easy to give up drinking when pregnant but I find it so hard, even though I want this baby so much. Thanks for reading this long winded post and sorry if I have appalled some of you in my inability to stop.
Suz

[joyfullymiserable]

Back again and pregnant!

Hi Suz,

I surely do feel for you...I have 3 kids myself and had a difficult time quitting during my last 2 pregnancies. I have to say though that once I got over the hump, life was so much more enjoyable...no hangovers. Made me wonder why I ever drank in the first place. But...the stress of new babies drug me back down to drinking again, which obviously didn't help the situation any.
I don't have any advice...just wanted to let you know that I understand your struggle and it is not apalling that the fact that you're pregnant doesn't shut off your desire to drink...but it does give you lots of incentive! Hang in there!!
:h

[lushy]

Back again and pregnant!

Please really think about the impact your drinking could be having on your unborn child. I was lucky in that when I got PG wine was the last thing I could look at, but I have a friend who struggled very much with not drinking. She finally said what made her stop was thinking about having a child born with deformities and having to take care of that child for the rest of her life was not worth continuing to drink for nine months. Please be honest with your doctor if you need more help. Listen to that part of your brain that wants you to quit completely. Best of luck to you!!

[Bookish]

Back again and pregnant!

You have not shocked or appalled any of us. I'm sure many of the mothers here have felt like you are feeling now.

Lush has a very good point though. I have a child with learning disabilities and other issues and I did not drink while pregnant. I have enough guilt now, I can't even think about what it would be like if I had and now having to deal with that too. It wouldn't matter if these issues were caused by drinking or not, because you would never really know the answer.

And Suz, I think your username says a lot about you and what you really want.

Hugs,
Laura

[Accountable for Me]

Back again and pregnant!

Suz, congratulations on your pregnancy! I completely respect the fact you live in a place where the culture of drinking is different than ours here in North America. I know you will do the right thing for your developing child. We will be here for you anytime you need support. See your doctor and be completely honest with him about your alcohol consumption if you feel you cannot control it. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a huge epidemic amongst children born today. It robs these children emotionally and physically. Keep in touch, and again congrats!

[Preciouspinot]

Back again and pregnant!

I too am the mother of three. I was one of the lucky ones who never had the taste for alcohol while pregnant. I was much more interested in banana splits with hot fudge, whip cream, nuts, and a cherry on top. Anyway, I would suggest being AF while pregnant. Moderation can be harder to follow if you feel like you are depriving yourself. Sometimes making the declaration that you cannot have any is actually easier. I know it's no fun in the begining but, it gets easier and easier.

[InnerStrength]

Back again and pregnant!

Welcome back Suz and congratulations
I am sure a lot of people relate to what you are feeling. And I echo everyone else - please be honest with yourself and your ability to not drink or drink only very little right now for the child's sake. No one is appalled or shocked - we all understand the cravings etc. - Please stick close to us now.
Love Jen

[Rags]

Back again and pregnant!

Hi Sober,
The damage that can be done to foetuses and to babies being breastfed by mothers who drink has been known and publicised for decades. I f you've seen children who have suffered brain damage because of their mothers drinking, and the effects on families, this wouldn't be an issue for you.
This is no longer about you. It is about other precious, helpless lives that you have complete control over.
If ever you had motivation to stop drinking, surely caring for your unborn child in every way posible is it.
Please take heed of What Lush and the others have said, and why not switch to the banana splits that Precious mentions.
You can do this.

[goingsobermum]

Back again and pregnant!

Thanks for all your support, it makes it easier knowing you are there. I am feeling pretty sicky so that helps. The realisation that I got away with it before but may not do this time is looming clearer and clearer and so is the fact that this will be the last time I'm pregnant so I want to make the most of it and not have to worry about the booze all the time. I had a couple of drinks yesterday but that will hopefully be it.

[betty boop]

Back again and pregnant!

Hi,

Like the others I understand your battle, & I also realise that it can be harder to do something when told that you 'have to' you really need to 'want to' .....

I drank heavily before being pregnant but did manage to stop whilst carrying, but my daughter was born with bruising to her brain because of difficulties during labour, which has left her with epilepsy.

Although it may be tempting to drink, you would never forgive yourself if your baby had problems.

You can do it, we are all here with you.

Love & Hugs xx

[goingsobermum]

Back again and pregnant!

Betty,
Thanks for your kind words. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter it must be hard for both of you.

I've been rereading sites about FAS (foetal alcohol syndrome) which really reminded me of the risks involved . Thank goodness for all the info on the net!

Suz

[sammys]

Back again and pregnant!

I can only imagine that this is very tough, not only do you have to worry about the pregnacy and everything to come with it you have the alcohol thing going to. Please be careful though its not just you anymore right now, everything you feel the baby feels. You can do it!!! This helps me I try to think of everything I put in my body is fuel for it and if I put the bad stuff in I can only expect my health to be poor.


Sammys

[Ripley]

Back again and pregnant!

Hi Suz, I'm a mum of 3 too, just a bit older than yours.

Listen, I am not appalled. I often drank when pregnant and thank my lucky lucky stars that my kids are ok. Recently tho I have done the school run when over the limit. Impressive huh?

The most important thing is that YOU ARE HERE. This is my 3rd day of MWO and already I feel myself changing. I am going to do what it takes to make sure my kids are safe, and I am safe. You can do it too.

Congrats on no. 4. You're a lucky girl. Kate

[Ripley]

Back again and pregnant!

Hi Suz, I'm a mum of 3 too, just a bit older than yours.

Listen, I am not appalled. I often drank when pregnant and thank my lucky lucky stars that my kids are ok. Recently tho I have done the school run when over the limit. Impressive huh?

The most important thing is that YOU ARE HERE. This is my 3rd day of MWO and already I feel myself changing. I am going to do what it takes to make sure my kids are safe, and I am safe. You can do it too.

Congrats on no. 4. You're a lucky girl. Kate

[goingsobermum]

Back again and pregnant!

Sammy and Kate, Thanks for your comments and honesty. Keep up the good work.

I have managed not to drink today which makes me feel much better and funnily enough I don't feel sick this evening! I wouldn't enjoy it anyway at the momment, guilt and worry would spoil the momment. I've drunk tea instead so should be up all night on the loo! Its also nice to know that any sups I take will help me and the bub not just replace what the alcohol took out. Heres to day 2.
Suz