New nervous from England...

[Ripley]

Hello people
:new:
well, I just joined after finding this site when searching for on-line alcohol dependency tests. Knew I had a problem, confirmed by every test!, but kind of don't want to believe it. However - here's the truth: I have only had maybe a couple of alcohol free nights in as many years and am now doing a bottle and a half of wine a night minimum. I often drink in the day, drink any weird stuff knocking about in the drinks cupboard if there's no wine in the house (e.g. Kir, for heaven's sake) and have often driven under the influence. I am piling on the pounds, and my skin looks awful. I am promted to take control of this by the fact that I have no recollection whatsoever of having sex with my husband on two separate occasions this month. Not good guys, is it?

I feel like crap most days, and wake up at 3 am every night racked with guilt and determination to"be good" the next day. It never happens. My husband drinks (very good) wine every night but I drink more than he knows about (and it's not about the taste anymore for me but about getting smashed). It's hard to stop when you have an accomplice.

So here I am. I will read the book and try the program. I am nervous about the drugs, and anyway have no idea what a British GP would say - any other Brits out there?

I have a boozy sociable weekend ahead of me - any tips on how to start before getting the cds / supplements etc? I'm scared of losing momentum.

Kate x

[southernbelle47]

New nervous from England...

Hi Kate and..............
:welcome: to MWO....
I'm in the USA but there are many Brits here...

My husband drinks almost everyday also.........I know what you mean about it being hard.

Read the book and post and read here. The research section is great.
Try to drink more water and cut back by a glass or two a day. It takes time. Do you have a doc you can talk to? I don't take the drugs mentioned here but alot of people do and they work for some.

Be patient and don't give up even if you feel like it. It takes time.

:h Nancy

[betty boop]

New nervous from England...

Hi Kate & :welcome:

Are you me???? Your story is indentical to mine .........

Those online tests .... did you keep looking for another one just in case you got a better result?? I did .....

Thanks for your honest post, that must have been hard for you ....

Anyway, I joined here last november, I'd hit my worst ever, getting through 3 bottles of wine a day, like you, my hubby drinks but his 'stop valve' works unlike mine, and I had started drinking in the day too .... I got really drunk one night, woke up the following morning to find my mum round because hubby didn't think I would get my daughter to school ...

I confessed all to my family, and asked for their help, I didn't stop altogether, but made a pact to only buy what we wanted to drink that evening. In november & december I had one bottle every night (still too much I know) and apart from one slip I never drank alone and didn't start till at least 7pm and sipped instead of gulping.

In January I went AF for 16 days and now my aim is to only drink at weekends, and I'm not doing too bad, I still won't drink alone & i've not 'sneaked' extra like I used to.

There are some people who would advise to stop altogether, we are all very different on here, but I can promise you that you will get so much help and support here.

Take care, Lots of Love & Hugs, :l

[Pebbles]

New nervous from England...

:welcome: katie,

you've found the right place. Everybody was once new and nervous, but baby steps started us on our journeys.

You sound just like me, even in the same location !

I must admit I didn't even approach my GP for any meds, I get the Topa on-line with no probs. I do however use all the other elements of the programme, the supps, the CDs and excercise (just walking, but it helps). And of course, read read read the posts here. So much wisdom, so much support, so much help...:l

I have tried for 25 years to break the cycle, but since coming here early this year I've have more AF days and moderated the rest than for the past quarter of a century.

many others will be along to welcome you soon
xxxx

[Rocky]

New nervous from England...

Welcome Kate,

Everyone here can relate to you in some form or fashion...You are not alone...The MWO community is very supportive hand encouraging in understanding what you are facing and what is ahead day to day.

Take it one day and one step at a time...Read through the book and read as much on theses posts as you can, ask questions, share your thoughts...everyone here wants you to succeed..

Welcome!

[Ripley]

New nervous from England...

Hi again. Wow. I am overwhelmed by your posts. What a lot of lovely people.

Just got back from buying all the supps, and am about to log on to Amazon for book and cd and buy the Topa from a site posted elsewhere on this site. Might as well give it a shot, eh?

Out tonight, will not to drink till we get to restaurant, and then sip. Hardest thing for me is not drinking yet more once I get home. Did this last night and woke up at 2am to find red wine all over my (new, goddamit) pale blue sofa.

Also, can't face telling husband. He will think MWO is crazy online cult / US marketing machine for quack medicines. He also drinks too much but handles it better than me. My drinking helps him deny his drinking, probably. He likes to make a joke out of it, or says stuff like "oh come on, life's too short to worry about this stuff". Probaly wouldn't say that if he saw me sneaking quick shots of limoncello at 2pm. Or hiding empty bottles...

Thanks again guys, I feel buoyed up!

[daisy]

New nervous from England...

Hi Kate,welcome to the site. I have only been here for alittle over a month. There is great support here and everyone is very supportive and understanding.

[weemelonhead]

New nervous from England...

Hi Kate.....welcome, welcome!!!

Yes, my partner drinks nearly every night too, but, as Betty said, his off switch works, and to add to that, he never acts like such an arse after he has had a few. I tended to drink 2-3 bottles of the old vino tinto, and then behave like an absolute pig from hell!! And you are right...some people may play down the necessity of sites like this, but quite often, it is because of guilt about their own difficulties....just do whatever YOU need my dear.

Are you aiming to stop drinking or to moderate?? Either way, as people have already said, you WILL find plenty of help here, and it's a really wide ranging sort of help too, so there's bound to be something for everyone.....reading material, meds, supps, hypno, exercise....and the boards...
Good to hear that you got your 'bits' ......the supps are usually easy to find in herbalists and healthfood stores, and many people find that getting meds over the internet is a much preferable option to talking to their GP.
Have a good look through back threads from moderators and abstainers to see what they found useful when tackling booze cravings, this is helpful if you're worried about a 'night out' or the looooonnnggg hours on a Friday night when it seems that all that will scratch the itch is a bucketful of booze. That's one of the nice things about logging on here....although everybodies approaches and triggers are different, there will always be useful info that will appeal to you specifically, or you may try something that works, and are then able to share this with others...

Great to meet you....I am a fellow Brit, but moved across the other side of the world......good job too really, I'd p*ssed off just about everyone in the town where I lived through years of alcohol abuse and subsequent APPALLING behaviour..............oh well.....onwards and upwards now

Keep posting!!! Weemelonhead

[annie75]

New nervous from England...

Hi Kate

Just posting a short note to welcome you here.This is a great place for anyone who's drinking has got out of control.I knew i had a major problem when i was "caught" by my partner,glugging red wine,from a cup, on a sunday afternoon whilst making dinner.I have now stopped drinking wine but still getting through a hell of a lot of beer!Trying to cut it out through the week and just drink at weekends....after 7pm.Starting detox on monday.Have been reading here most of today to pass the time,and keep me out of the fridge!:welcome:

annie ---- northern ireland

[Ripley]

New nervous from England...

Ha, that made me smile... one of my many tricks - put wine in a mug and drink whilst cooking Sunday lunch! Or pretend white wine is apple juice!

I'm going to try to moderate my drinking. Giving up entirely seems too drastic for me, but we'll see.

Going to ask my husband to do the three on line tests I did today, and tell him that I did and that I am taking steps to change. Think I might hide all the supps - he will think I have lost the plot...

Thanks all for making me feel instantly welcome. Have a feeling I might switch my dependency to this site... healthier, but I'll get NO work done.
Kate

[jessie]

New nervous from England...

Hi Kate

Thanks for your courageous story - there seem to be millions of us in the world - everyone trying to beat their insane addiction. I also do the same things. Hide bottles, drive when I really should not, and hate myself the next morning. I am still struggling but I will win, and so will you.
Keep getting up!
Jessie

[lushy]

New nervous from England...

Welcome Kate, and I will tell you once you are addicted to this site you will not get any work done. I am living proof of that. Your story sounds very similar to mine and it is a relief to know we are not alone isn't it? Best of luck to you and hope you get the stain out of your couch. That hurts!!!:welcome:

[Beaches]

New nervous from England...

Welcome Kate,
I am glad you found this site. Before I came here I too was drinking during the day, drinking at night, drinking in my dreams or whenever I could. This place has provided me with support and wisdom.
The best advice I can give you so early in the journey is to keep reading and don't be afraid to post anything that you are feeling to get feedback. My husband feels the same that you said your probably would. He just doesn't get it. But I do and that is all that really matters. You will too.
Take Care and again I am glad you are here.
Beaches

[lorisunshine]

New nervous from England...

Welcome Kate!

Hi Kate and
:welcome: to the MWO site.
My life has been so very much like yours. My husband is drinking and I have tried many times to convince him to do it together, but to no avail. It just dawned on me that I don't have that much time left to get sober and I have to do it for myself.

It was a bugger to hear his ice cubes tinkling in his glass and I so much wanted to have a drink as well. I just hit the Perrier bottle instead. Every day it got a little easier. I know that I cannot ever drink in moderation again. I didn't come with an off button. I like wine and whiskey and this and that, but I had to re-program myself into believing that alcohol of any kind is my mortal enemy, which it is. It will kill me.

So, everybody is different. Some reach for abstinence and some for moderation and that is ok.
Please read all the threads and talk to us when you need a friend. Remember you are doing this for yourself and nobody else.
It is such a wonderful feeling to be in total control of all ones capacities once again; it's a rebirth of a fashion.
Good luck and again welcome.
Lori

[Ripley]

New nervous from England...

Can't believe I've just done this.... went out for dinner with husband and friends and made 2 glasses red wine last the whole night. Just drove everyone home and am going to bed now. Am stunned. Just making the decision to confront my problem, and reading the threads on the site gave me the strength to act like a grown up this evening. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect this to be easy every time, but I'm so pleased!

Told husband that I had a probelm with booze. He agrees and acknowledges that he has too. He is drunk as a skunk and has just wobbled his way up to bed.

One step at a time! Thanks guys, Kate x