Hanging for a drink...

[Daya]

Its the witching hour....theres 2 bottles of red, courtesy of hubby who WILL NOT STOP.

For some reason, the urge seems to be getting stronger on nearly day 3....I know if i hold off, the urge sort of passes after 5 days, buts that's usually when I'm on my own, with no booze around me. I am sooo pissed of at my hubby. I know maybe his addiction is greater than mine, but to be honest, at this moment I think hes a selfish prick!!!!!

I also asked him, if you cant stop buying wine, can you at least not get drunk, as it makes me stressed when your drunk and I'm sober. Do you think he can do that??? Apparently bloody not.

I am ranting and venting(obviously) and not filled with the milk of human kindness.

I need to look at his addiction as something separate from the man...I guess.

Actually it has made me realize how selfish it is when I get drunk around people, sort of saying to them, well Folks, cop this !!!! I don't care what happens, and how I treat you, I'm going to do whatever I want, and you can just deal with it.

Ugh....

[Guitarista]

Hanging for a drink...

Hi Daya,

Hang in there. Let him do what he likes. What can you do about the situation there tonight? Can you move to another part of the house and occupy yourself with a book or a movie? Can you get out of the house for a couple of hours and visit a friend, go shopping, a walk, a jog? Here's some suggestions anyway courtesy of member 'One2many'.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.

[berner66]

Hanging for a drink...

Hi Daya

Hang in there .... Day 3 for me too. Can understand why you are so pissed off at your hubby. I can relate to the selfish thing about being drunk around people. I am the worst ever .... I treat people so bad .... but I hate myself so much at the minute for doing it. Resist the urge

cheers

Berner

[Rags]

Hanging for a drink...

151. Learn to scuba dive.

[Over It!]

Hanging for a drink...

I hear ya Daya!

I hear you loud and clear, we have the same problem you and I. It is almost impossible to give up AL when the SO wont.

The way I have to handle it is to ram an AB in my mouth as soon as the craving starts, so that no matter how many times I am tempted, I know that I simply cannot drink AL.

It is interesting to watch how his personality changes, the more he drinks. I am lucky that I didnt marry a violent man, but I did marry a heavy drinker who becomes a bit 'sloppy" when he imbibes.

I cannot criticize too much becuase I am a binge drinker and cannot stop once I start. At least he will stop when he has had enough and will go to bed at a reasonable hour, say 11.00pm. (not like me who stays up til 4.00 trying to watch TV but cant remember a thing next morning).

Daya, my only advice for what it is worth, is to try to keep your distance, keep yourself busy with other stuff, take the meds, listen to the cd's, read the books and stay posted to MWO - all these do help. You have already made the comitment to change your AL intake and whilst you cannot do anything about his drinking, you can and probably should do something about your own. That's how I see it any way.

Stay strong, I know how hard it is being a fellow wine lover living with a big drinker.

Hugs xx

[Over It!]

Hanging for a drink...

151 things to do instead of drinking.....

152. Watch your fave comedies-several of them.
153. Think of some more stuff to add here?

[Daya]

Hanging for a drink...

Hey Guitarista

Thats a really good list,

I'll add another one:
have a confferance call

Which is what i just did. Actually the insane urge has passed, it sort of interesting, before I have tapered off, this time I have just gone cut. The urges have been surprisingly strong, but what I am telling myself, is that its just the physical addiction fighting for supremacy...and its fighting to stay alive, and I WILL NOT FEED IT!!!!!

The list is very good, thanks for sending it, I have realized its important to have a plan... tomorrow night I will organize to do something in the hour it normally hits, preferably away from home.

Guitarista;1308118 wrote: Hi Daya,

Hang in there. Let him do what he likes. What can you do about the situation there tonight? Can you move to another part of the house and occupy yourself with a book or a movie? Can you get out of the house for a couple of hours and visit a friend, go shopping, a walk, a jog? Here's some suggestions anyway courtesy of member 'One2many'.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else?s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD?s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.

[Daya]

Hanging for a drink...

Thanks OverIT, I think it IS harder to give up when its always there...others (such as yourself) have done it....I said to hubby tonight, after I snapped his head off "I am tense because I am trying to give up drinking, if I don't, I will die ".( I have a heart condition that it affects really badly, ended up in hospital 2 weeks ago from drinking...)

My partner is also not violent, he gets horrible though, talks endlessly....gropes me, follows me around the house, tries to corner me, makes me want to kill him..Luckily he passes out about 8.30 PM...Aghh, what a life...

You guys are a really big help, I have tried to do this before, but not posted much, and I dont want to bother you people to much..

((((hugs back))))

And I said "having alcohol in the house makes me really tense, and i'm trying to deal with it, so i'm sorry I'm snappy" He said "I suppose it would be better if I didn't bring it home" I replied , it would help....but I doubt that is going to happen...the last time he didn't bring wine home, after i told him i was suicidal, he just drank pure whiskey....really ugly

Over It!;1308130 wrote: I hear you loud and clear, we have the same problem you and I. It is almost impossible to give up AL when the SO wont.

The way I have to handle it is to ram an AB in my mouth as soon as the craving starts, so that no matter how many times I am tempted, I know that I simply cannot drink AL.

It is interesting to watch how his personality changes, the more he drinks. I am lucky that I didnt marry a violent man, but I did marry a heavy drinker who becomes a bit 'sloppy" when he imbibes.

I cannot criticize too much becuase I am a binge drinker and cannot stop once I start. At least he will stop when he has had enough and will go to bed at a reasonable hour, say 11.00pm. (not like me who stays up til 4.00 trying to watch TV but cant remember a thing next morning).

Daya, my only advice for what it is worth, is to try to keep your distance, keep yourself busy with other stuff, take the meds, listen to the cd's, read the books and stay posted to MWO - all these do help. You have already made the comitment to change your AL intake and whilst you cannot do anything about his drinking, you can and probably should do something about your own. That's how I see it any way.

Stay strong, I know how hard it is being a fellow wine lover living with a big drinker.

Hugs xx

[Daya]

Hanging for a drink...

things to do.

Desighn , build and decorate a dolls house from scratch.

Over It!;1308137 wrote: 152. Watch your fave comedies-several of them.
153. Think of some more stuff to add here?

[Daya]

Hanging for a drink...

Thanks Berner, tonight seemed harder than the other nights...we can do this together

Oh yes, the horrible things i have done drunk...the self loathing afterwords.... that's good to remember.

Good luck to you also

berner66;1308124 wrote: Hi Daya

Hang in there .... Day 3 for me too. Can understand why you are so pissed off at your hubby. I can relate to the selfish thing about being drunk around people. I am the worst ever .... I treat people so bad .... but I hate myself so much at the minute for doing it. Resist the urge

cheers

Berner

[DizzyBee]

Hanging for a drink...

Hang in there Daya, May is only starting! I need my weight loss goal buddy to be strong. :l

Mr G, you are such an inspiration.

[Daya]

Hanging for a drink...

Mr G is an inspiration, isn't he

my hubby said to me tonight " your stomach looks rather big"....I yelled back, THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO GIVE UP DRINKING!!!!!

well be slim and svelte yet, Dizzy bee.

DizzyBee;1308157 wrote: Hang in there Daya, May is only starting! I need my weight loss goal buddy to be strong. :l

Mr G, you are such an inspiration.

[LibraryGirl]

Hanging for a drink...

What an arsehole, lol! That's not kind of him to point out your flaws. How does his stomach look?

Good job on sticking to it Daya. I can tell you are a strong person, and I believe you are determined to do it this time. We will go through this journey together! All of us!:l

LG

[Daya]

Hanging for a drink...

I sort of put it out of context LG, I had a really bad stomach ache, and told him...and then he made the remark..

he has a huge gut, has put on a massive amount of weight through giving up drugs, but not booze. My first reaction was, have you looked at yourself lately?. I may feel fat, but weigh 58 kilos. Mind you, I'm 5,3 .

And i caved. had 2 wines an hour ago....(which I didn't even like?) was not going to say anything because of the shame....I took L Glut and the other herbs all day yesterday, none today...may go and see the doctor and get medication...

LibraryGirl;1308257 wrote: What an arsehole, lol! That's not kind of him to point out your flaws. How does his stomach look?

Good job on sticking to it Daya. I can tell you are a strong person, and I believe you are determined to do it this time. We will go through this journey together! All of us!:l

LG

[LibraryGirl]

Hanging for a drink...

So really he is just goading you because he knows of your insecurities. In other words, he knows what words will hurt most.

I'm sorry you caved and drank. I guess you mean two glasses of wine, not bottles. It's still early days and you just dust yourself off and start over. No excuses.

LG