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**Nelz** · May 3, 2012, 03:07 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

Just think how you will feel, when you make it through the lunch without picking up any AL. Thats great that the urges are being contained with supplements, congrats on that.

What a great present to give your son....an AF Mom! Cant put a price tag on that, now can ya

**Daya** · May 3, 2012, 03:14 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

I know Nelz !!! I'm just so grateful that he didn't grow up with it, he saw me working, being clear, this demon has really only taken a serious grip in the last 4 years...I want him to respect me again.

Actually it was funny at lunch today, i was just about to have a sip of white wine, when he rang. I instantly poured it into my husbands glass, and said, well, that's that

Nelz;1309509 wrote: Just think how you will feel, when you make it through the lunch without picking up any AL. Thats great that the urges are being contained with supplements, congrats on that.

What a great present to give your son....an AF Mom! Cant put a price tag on that, now can ya

**LibraryGirl** · May 3, 2012, 06:42 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

Oh, hun, that must have kicked you in the gut.:l While I'm thinking about it, that's the main thing I hate about being sober: the shame of (remembering) being drunk. The good news is, we don't ever have to embarrass ourselves or our loved ones again (at least not with AL, lol).

I hope you all have a great lunch and Happy Birthday Daya's Son!!!

**Daya** · May 3, 2012, 06:52 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

Hi LG, it really did

At least i know I will be able to fulfill my promise to him and not get drunk, or indeed drink. Apart from the stupid experiment last night, i have been able to resist pretty easily. I never drink during the day, so shouldn't be that hard. The shame of being sober is better than the shame of being drunk though!!!

Thanks for the birthday wished for him:0 Hes a very cool guy.!!!!

LibraryGirl;1309578 wrote: Oh, hun, that must have kicked you in the gut.:l While I'm thinking about it, that's the main thing I hate about being sober: the shame of being drunk. The good news is, we don't ever have to embarrass ourselves or our loved ones again (at least not with AL, lol).

I hope you all have a great lunch and Happy Birthday Daya's Son!!!

**Snapdragon** · May 3, 2012, 06:55 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

Hi Daya

We've all said and done things we regret whilst drinking (well - I know for a fact that I have!!

But it's time to move forward and forgive and forget. Your son is lucky to have a mum who loves him very much and didn't compromise him when he was younger.

My most shameful moment is when my son was about 17 and he gone to the next city to visit friends in the evening and missed the last train home. He sat on the station platform all night alone until the trains started running again at 6am. I asked him why on earth didn't he ring me to come and collect him and he said: "There was no point - I knew you would be drunk - you always are!" God forbid if anything had happened to him - I was (and still am) so ashamed about that!

Anyway - have a lovely meal - and you show them!!

Love Snap x

**Daya** · May 3, 2012, 07:00 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

Oh Snapdragon...how awful!!!Do be ashamed, your son must be very proud of you now though. I haven't called my husband in an emergency, as i knew he would be drunk...it sucks...

Snapdragon;1309590 wrote: Hi Daya

We've all said and done things we regret whilst drinking (well - I know for a fact that I have!!

But it's time to move forward and forgive and forget. Your son is lucky to have a mum who loves him very much and didn't compromise him when he was younger.

My most shameful moment is when my son was about 17 and he gone to the next city to visit friends in the evening and missed the last train home. He sat on the station platform all night alone until the trains started running again at 6am. I asked him why on earth didn't he ring me to come and collect him and he said: "There was no point - I knew you would be drunk - you always are!" God forbid if anything had happened to him - I was (and still am) so ashamed about that!

Anyway - have a lovely meal - and you show them!!

Love Snap x

**Daya** · May 3, 2012, 07:00 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

meant to say snapdragon, DON"T be ashamed.!!!

Blooming Iphone

**K9Lover** · May 3, 2012, 11:02 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

Hi Daya!

I can relate to the pain of your child confronting you about your drinking. When mine was 12 years old she wrote me a heartfelt tear-stained letter saying that she cries at night because she thinks I am going to die. She said she hates the smell of beer and cigarettes. She told me she has a very happy life, except for the fact that I drink so much. Talk about ripping my heart out! OMG. That was the day I put my heart and soul into quitting. I got sober for her, but I stay sober for me (us).

You can do it too. Wishing you strength!

K9

**Struggles 106** · May 3, 2012, 11:08 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

I can realte

Hey Daya

It really does make it clear doesn't it? A couple of summers ago I get really drunk with my sister and called my daughter. She told me the next day DON"T EVER calll me like that again.

Our kids deserve better. My parents were drunks and it was just awful.

Happy birthday and have a good sober time.

**Cupcake** · May 3, 2012, 03:40 PM

Oh The Shame of it all

I understand...

Yes I can totally relate to what you are going through with your family. I have been a drinker and was during my son's graduation and now my son And daughter won't contact me. Does it hurt he'll yes it does, but where do I go from here??

**K9Lover** · May 3, 2012, 04:31 PM

Oh The Shame of it all

Hi Cupcake!
Welcome to MWO, it's a great place to be. Are you still drinking, or have you tried to stop? Please post more about yourself so we can help you!
K9

**Cupcake** · May 4, 2012, 01:00 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

I've been 'lurking'! Around these boards for a while and had 3 months alcohol free last year. Best time of my life but I seem to be sucked into the alcohol situation again and just want out. I know I can do it. Sometime you just feel like running away to be on your own to go cold turkey, there always seem to be so many influences around that involve alcohol don't there..? I am humbled by the people on this forum with their stories and one day want it to be me posting my own success story.

**Daya** · May 4, 2012, 01:31 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

my sons birthday Lunch update

Hi Folks,

And particularly Cupcake, well, just came back from my sons birthday lunch, took my MWO supplements in the morning, then just before lunch. I ordered a tonic water (without gin) with lemon. I drank that and water the whole 3 hour lunch. I was the only one not drinking. I sat across from my son, and he didn't mention the drinking, but as I was leaving, I hugged him, and whispered in his ear, I lived up to my promise. he hugged me back, and said "thanks Mum

So, my feelings on the lunch. I don't drink during the day usually, so it wasn't as hard as I thought. No one commented on me not drinking, all of them their are old friends, and were probably just bloody grateful I was sober. I really enjoyed the lunch, was really happy to be sober, was not tempted even once. I'm not sure if its the herbs, the extreme shame(I have felt that a lot before, and it never stopped me though).

I am just slowly weaning myself of this horrible thing. It is very early days, and I know its going to take a lot longer than just one sober lunch to convince my son there wont be a problem again....but am tentatively hopeful.

Cupcake, I am so sorry about your relationship with your children, as you have read from the replies to my thread , our children do get affected by this. I think the only thing you can do is get some solid sober time in, and then let them see how much you have changed, and slowly build up there trust. I cut from my father for years because of his drinking..he gave up a few years before he died, and it took me a while to trust that he was actually sober. I am forever grateful I had that sober time with him. I think children will forgive there parents practically anything, if they see that there is a solid change. You can do it Cupcake, if I, and other here can do it so can you.xxx

**lifechange** · May 4, 2012, 09:58 AM

Oh The Shame of it all

i'm really proud of you, Daya, for this success!! for beginning to show your son the person you want to be. my mom also drank (was fall down drunk) from the time i was 10 until i was almost 30. she had periods of abstinence but always went back to drinking. finally with the birth of my sisters son, or shortly thereafter, she realized that she somehow had to stop. it took her a year of going to aa and really working the program to succeed, but she did it and has been sober for 13 years. my sister and i were very skeptical at first and it took a lot of work to trust her again, but we are so close now. and i've finally been able to open up to her about my drinking problem which she had suspected the past couple of years. anyway, i am so glad you had the chance to spend those 2 years with your father. thank god. and i am so happy for you and your son to have another chance. and i am so happy to have caught this myself while my kids are still so young.! and i send lots of strength to you, Cupcake. it looks like you've been lurking for awhile and would really like to stop. i also know you can do it. try to post in the newbies nest. i love it there!

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