Please advise and help me :-(

[noodle]

Hello everyone, back again, still overweight, sick and very hungover. I love the support on this site, there are some very good hearted people out there. Can anyone tell me though -
Why and when will I decide I WANT to stop drinking, is it a balance of just deciding that if I continue to drink, feeling like I do right now will be the only way I'll feel all the time?
I stopped drinking for a month or so last year, felt o.k, lost heaps of weight, but didn't stop thinking about booze for pretty much all the time. I couldn't hold off any longer.
Even when my heads in the toilet, the thought of life without booze scares the hell out of me. I'd Love to just not want to drink and get on with living - how does that happen?
Sorry this all seems crazy, and stupid questions. Just wondered if anyone could share and inspire me.
x :thanks::h

[startingover]

Please advise and help me :-(

Hi Noodle,
Its good to see you back and still in the game
The things that strike me about your post are the way that its your thoughts that are scaring the crap out of you. If you can think a scary thought, you can also think a good thought. And keep on thinking it until it becomes habit? Try thinking this.
My new healthy life is fun, exciting and full, my body looks and feels better. Picture this in your mind. Its just a thought but you have the power to make it what you like.

[Nelz]

Please advise and help me :-(

My posts tend to get a little bit long winded so Ill try and keep this short and sweet.

I was like you, I couldnt imagine life without my beloved alchohol........now that I have some AF time behind me, I cant imagine a life with alcohol in it.

[angel77]

Please advise and help me :-(

Hi Noodle I am actually thinking about drinking at the moment too.. I always seem to when I get home around 5. One post that really helps me, when I'm thinking about alcohol, is :


JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

JUNKIE THINKING: I’ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I’m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don’t care about all the people I’ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

Hope that helps a bit

angel xx

[kapone12]

Please advise and help me :-(

hi Noodle - you've sure had some EXCELLENT help so far,...

I too was like you, I couldn't imagine life without alcohol, and I WANTED to WANT to stop drinking, but for a long time I loved it toooo much...as starty says, we CAN think our way into a new way of acting. It does take time, just as its taken each of us a lot of pain to drink ourselves to looking for the help we get and give here.

I have been a member of AA for nearly 20 years now and although I am only a little over a year sober, each and every relapse and sobriety I have had has led me to be the steadfastly sober woman I am today.

It's totally piecemeal, noodle - keep it simple, don't pick up the FIRST drink, talk about it, and it's Just For Today!

All the very very best, with heartfelt hopeful thoughts x

[noodle]

Please advise and help me :-(

Thank you so much, great advice. Angel, I'm writing all that down because all those thoughts are running through my head, ALL the time. Fantastic advice. At the end of day one and feel sick and very bad head, so heading to bed. Savouring this hang over - it's the last one, hopefully for ever. Kapone, Nelz and starting over, you're all an inspiration. Thank you so much for your kindness. :h:l

[hillsidetime]

Please advise and help me :-(

Hi Noodle,
I am glad that you are back, and thinking about your life.

The "moment" occurs for some people it seems, and others have trouble finding it. I think some people find sobriety without that moment. For me, my life was in the tubes, I almost lost my marriage and my kids. I had public disgrace with a car accident and impaired charges. I was drinking way too much, all the time. I was not who I wanted to be. I have a rock bottom moment.

It is scary, thinking about living without alcohol. It is scary to think of all the times in society when drinking and booze are part of our lives. Alcohol is ingrained in our habits and patterns and lifestyle. You can do it though. You can change.

It is not easy, but it is so worthwhile. I love living sober. It just keeps getting better and better.

Hang in there. Perhaps you can take some sober time, like you did last year, to clear your head.

Hill

[Lavande]

Please advise and help me :-(

Hi Noodle,

Glad you are back!
I used the MWO Hypno CDs to help change my thinking
I think they would help you too, give them a try.

I have no desire to pour poison in myself anymore & I am more more confident every day than I can live just fine without AL in my life.

[mommacog]

Please advise and help me :-(

Angel77, thanks so much for posting that, it's amazing!! I'm going to print it out and post it on my fridge!
Noodle, we are all in this together, even if we falter we can come back here and get support from all of these amazing folks! Hope you have a great Wednesday!

[Irie]

Please advise and help me :-(

angel77;1313028 wrote:

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

Angel, I know your response was intended for Noodle, but I wanted to let you know how much this one line helped me. In fact, it's my new signature. Thank you! And Noodle, I hope you found a lot of inspiration, too!

[Unwasted]

Please advise and help me :-(

Noodle, someone coined the term "euphoric recall" about alcohol. I would bet that your memory isn't serving you very honestly about it. By the time we get to MWO, drinking has usually become a huge negative in our lives.

Most of us cling to something that's a long-term habit/addiction. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol either. But as Nelz said, now I can't imagine it with it.

One thing I learned after trying to quit for over 1/1/2 years is that I never gave it long enough to "get to the other side." It wasn't until I was 4-5 months sober that I REALLY understood that I wanted to be sober much more than I wanted to drink.

You have to be solid in your plan, know that you CANNOT take the first drink EVER, have diversions during your witching hour (for me it was exercise, reading, hot baths, t.v., books and posting here), eat super healthy foods whenever possible, read about addiction (voraciously for me), tap into a spiriritual part of yourself, try things that you haven't tried, and really want it.

Best to you,
UN :lilheart:

[angel77]

Please advise and help me :-(

Noodle - You are most welcome, hope it does help you in your weak moments. It has helped me a lot. I am only on day 11 AF and like Mommacog said, we are all in this together!

Mommacog - Haha That's a good idea though,putting it somewhere where you can see it easily. I should do the same!

Irie - I'm glad it helped you. It's funny how we can read a million things but nothing really resonates with you personally, and then occasionally you read something and it just clicks. That's how I felt after reading that post anyway. Yay, what a lovely signature. Very true.

[K9Lover]

Please advise and help me :-(

Hi Noodle!

I never thought I would get off the roller-coaster-from-hell either. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol...I mean, what would I do every night? Now I can't believe I ever lived like that. I was making myself sick mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I tried for years to just STOP. I doubt anyone gets it on their first (or 50th) try, but the key is to keep trying. We only fail when we quit quitting. You can do this, I know you can. There is evidence all around these boards of people that have done it. I never thought I could, but I did, and you can too. Please stick close to us and keep posting. Take it one day, hour, minute, second at a time. Just get through a few days and it will get easier. I'm wishing you strength!

K9

[resrchqueen]

Please advise and help me :-(

Angel... I love your junkie convo! I think I'll print that out and put it in arsenal of tools.

[noodle]

Please advise and help me :-(

Awh thanks everyone, you've already made a huge difference to this old soak.
Unwasted, your point about selective memory is true, funny how we can only remember the initial delicious taste, loosening up of inhibitions and lots of giggles. Vomiting over your best friend in a taxi, lashing out and saying something totally unforgivable, doing things you are just too ashamed to mention, and that killer look of embarasment from your kids - all that gets conveniently filed away.
K9, when people like you are saying they did it, so can I, I'm really feeling optimistic. Your photo is beautiful by the way - will I look that good now I've stopped (lols!:H).
Love and peace to everyone :h