Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

[sheepish1]

Hi all, I am back here....again. Never last long, come with good intentions, initially thinking I'll quit, then that I surely can mod, and shortly back in same old routine, 25-35 glasses of wine per week!!! As I'm not a spring chicken - or lamb should we say - this is starting to take its toll on my health. Are there any like I, who have been at this nasty habit for say 5-7 years and managed to moderate their intake? And or finally decided it must be quits? I need some inspiration as I'm tired of my own boring story.... :thanks:

[Byrdlady]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

No.

Well that's the short answer. I can elaborate. I tried to moderate for a solid year...I never drank harder. You see, when it's taken away...you panic, and then when you get it, you think that you better drink it all now you might not get any later! It's a catch 22. I have seen very few (none) who can actually control it...try as they might, you will see them trying and failing and trying and failing...just like I did. The only way to win is to cut it off at the head. One drink feeds it. This is not all doom and gloom...I would have never believed it, but quitting it totally is EASIER than trying to make it work. It is more peaceful in my head than the constant struggle of 'Should I?' Shouldn't I?' I don't know when my drinking crossed the line...but there is no going back to a point where you are not a problem drinker, in my opinion. Your relationship with AL is as good today as it's ever going to be....and it will get worse! Never thought I'd be giving advice on an AL forum, but here I am. One drink leads to another...period. Sorry! But I am happier now than I've been in the 25 years I've been drinking. You actually do already know the answer, but making yourself accept it is a bitch. It is much better on this side. I hope that helps...pick out a day and begin! Byrdie

[Supercrew]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

I drank heavily for 27 years. Many time especially over the last 10 years I tried to find a way to consistantly mod. I used every method I could find from switching to just one drink, to having a glass of water between drinks, to trying herbs like kudzu, to only drinking on certain days at certain times, and I always seemed to find myself drunk.

Basically I tried every method of moderation and I was unable to find a way that worked for me. I decided I had to quit for good. I have now been sober for about a year and a half, and I have started the quitting process and implemented my system for quitting about 2 years ago.

It was the best decision I have ever made in my life, and I do not miss drinking whatsoever....and considering drinking was what my life revolved around for 27 years I would have to say that it has been a major accomplishment. I am finally sober, and I am happy about it.

Good luck on your quest for moderation, but for me the only way to live a happy life is sober, it just makes life so much easier.

[sheepish1]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Thank you Birdie....and yes, I guess you can hear it, I know the answer I just haven't been able to believe it yet.. I've been studying my problem for years now and it all comes back to that once you actually are making yourself sick enough from the booze that you start considering cutting back you are like past the point of that being possible. Indeed the constant mind work is pure hell and just 'not drinking' when its done does seem easier. You are now at 16 plus months, great job. I'm wondering how long (a week seems extraordinarily long) I go without so that I start to like it. I'm reviewing my calendar for a day..thanks again.

[sheepish1]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Supercrew, also great job. You are both provided needed inspiration. I too have done charts and time of day, and 'rules for self' and changing beverages etc. etc. but still ended up intoxicated most of the time. It's a demon of a poison for sure....and I can't in honesty see it getting better with the status quo. I'll be checking in and reading here now daily....

[Janice]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Sheepish, I cld have wrote your post except I was drinking more than 35 glasses a week. I'm 50 this year & my drinking is also starting to affect my health. I too thought I cld moderate my drinking and have just returned to MWO with my tail between my legs. It might work for some people but not me. Moderate drinking is just not going to happen....its like pouring petrol on hot embers. Today is Day 5. If you're still in doubt,take a look at the Rain in My Heart documentaries in General Discussion, they scared me stiff.

[sheepish1]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

All well said and wise words of wisdom Zen, Molly and Janice. Amazing how we are all different and all the same....yes, I may just have to surrender as one group says to the fact that 'once a pickle...never a cucumber' and take the zero way...now off to sleep on that one (up of course, not sleeping well middle of the night)...

[AGUYFROMNC]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Moderation never worked for me id say id finish just this much of the bottle and then i would finish it , and look for more. its very hard to stop i quit so many times but being sober with no hangovers always felt better

[DriftyAlison0]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Very few people can mod. I tried modding and I did ok but that didn't last long and before I knew it, I was back to my old ways and wasn't even modding at the end. I quit for good nearly a year ago and it is so much easier then to fight to moderate. No more counting drinks or worry about it. No more fighting to get through the af days and look forward to drink and then pay for it the next day. I feel so good in not drinking at all.

[sheepish1]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Thanks AguyfromNC, and have you managed to stop all together now? I'm sure I'm not unique; when I overdue for a period of time I say "that's it, I'm done for good" and then when I start to feel better I say, well of course I can just limit....so like all have said here I'll have to admit to self that this is Notttt sensible. Insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result....
Oh, and just watched those documentaries mentioned by Janice..wow. If that is not a clear and ugly picture of our poison!

[NoraC]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

Byrdlady;1315655 wrote: I tried to moderate for a solid year...I never drank harder. You see, when it's taken away...you panic, and then when you get it, you think that you better drink it all now you might not get any later! Byrdie

THANK YOU! Wow - that describes me perfectly. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to copy your post & put it in my Nora's Journey thread.

And to answer the question - Nope, I can't moderate either.

[LillyE]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

I'm another who's been trying this for ages as I have been struggling to accept I must just really 'quit' all together. Just recently I've been on-off, doing quite well the last several weeks at not drinking excessively. Then, the last two nights, I drank so much I feel horrendously ill today. This is always my patter. I can moderate... for awhile. But never consistently. And it sounds like you can't either. More and more, with the reading of wise words here, I realise that it will ultimately just be easier and nicer to quit for good and stop the 'do I don't I - oh I F*cked up again remorse" struggle. Let's dive in. There's no better time to start than right now. :welcome:

[Dave_]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

I tried for years to moderate. The harder I tried the more i drank. Why? I have no idea at all, it just seemed to work out that way. Those that can moderate their drinking are very few and far between and I have not met any problem drinkers that have been able to moderate long term. That is not to say it is impossible but freakin' hard. It didn't work for me and slowly, (very slowly I might add) I came to the conclusion that I was just fooling myself but not anyone else around me.

As a result I just don't drink. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes.

[madmans]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

NO for all the reasons above and more that i dont need to type, i wasted too long trying to control/modd my drinking i will not waste any longer talking about it.

[greeneyes]

Repetitive 'quiter' and 'mod-er'; is modding possible?

No. Even after an AF year and thinking I had all the skills, tools, etc. I though I'd turned back into a cucumber, but no.... still a pickle. AF is the only way for me.