I let them down again

[mommacog]

I was doing really well all week last week until Friday night. I told myself that I would just have a few glasses of wine, and drank the whole bottle plus a bunch of my hubby's vodka. I'd been sick all week plus had cramps, so I gave myself permission to drink, wtf was I thinking? Drank nothing on Saturday and then the hubby thought it would be nice to pick me up a bottle of wine for mother's day.. drank last night too. I am not blaming him but I think he doesn't want me to stop drinking and will keep sabotaging me. My daughter saw my glass last night and said "I thought you weren't going to drink" I feel like such a loser!

Now I guess I start again. Thinking about Antabuse and wondering if my Dr. will prescribe it for me? Day one again...

[angel77]

I let them down again

Hello mommacog Nice to see you post. I hope you are ok That sounds like a really hard situation with your husband, and what your daughter said would have hurt. I sort of know how you feel when someone you love shows that they are disappointed in you. p.s I don't think you are a loser! My advice would be try not to beat yourself up and that we all have slips. As my mum sometimes says to me when I am crying and a mess and saying how horrible I feel for drinking, "Your not a robot! You can't just switch it off. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just try again. " Some people I know said it toook them years to stop drinking for good. I hope you don't think I'm preaching to you I just want to help. Maybe book an appointment with your doctor and ask your husband if he wants to come with you? Hope you are ok.


angel77 xx

[K9Lover]

I let them down again

Hi Momma,
Angel is right, don't beat yourself up over this. As she also said, it took some of us years to quit...I know it did for me. I've been "tracking" my drinking for about 4 years. Normal drinkers don't keep track of their drinking, that's how I finally realized I had a problem. I'm sorry your husband does not support your effort to quit. That must be hard. You've got to do this for you though, like Byrdie says "No matter what, no matter who"...do it for YOU. I think asking your doctor for Antabuse is a great idea. I've been on it for years, and I owe my continued sobriety to it, and to the wonderful people of MWO. Please keep us posted on how you are doing!
K9

[Sportymom]

I let them down again

Mommacog, you are definitely not a loser. I am so proud of you that you told your daughter you were trying to give up drinking!! I have been to afraid to tell my daughter because I think I will let her down. I wish I were as brave as you. Sorry about your hubby not being supportive. Mother's Day was hard for me too. Take care.

[Arial]

I let them down again

Hi MommaC, At times this can seem like a one step forward, 2 step back situation - but there's no failing until you give up the fight. Each stumble is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, our problems, triggers etc. and therefore arm ourselves better. Read all the posts and you'll find many of us who have been on and off the wagon for years and then something just makes it happen. Use whatever you need to make this a permanent life change - try different things/meds/ strategies until you find something that helps.

Sounds like maybe hubby is a little intimidated by your becoming sober - does he have a problem himself? Maybe he doesn't like facing up to his own situation? Is there any way you can get him on board with at least supporting your not drinking? I really admire anyone who can do this whilst being around other drinkers, so good for you for picking yourself up, dusting yourself and getting right back up there.

Warm wishes, and look forward to seeing you around.