Intention is a powerful thing, and I have powerfully intended throughout my life to believe all that my upbringing and experiences were trying to impose upon me in the way of guilt, over responsibility, betrayal, abandonment, and invisibility. Essentially I was at odds with everything around me, from a different planet even.
Sensitive, intuitive, sensing and recognising bullshit before it's even been expressed made things somewhat uncomfortable for me. To be told pretty much from birth that whatever I sensed or 'knew' was not the reality, caused me to lose trust in myself and join in with the torture through self-sabotage and an innate inability for self love.
Consequently I found myself in a lonely and isolated place in my mind and heart, I know this is by no means a unique experience. Mine has been a long and challenging journey to this point, we all of course have our journeys, and depending upon one's cosmic perspective there may be other journeys to add to the mix.
A young family member was discovered deceased in her student accommodation last week, and every time there is a death in the family it brings a huge amount of patterns and issues to the surface as these things tend to do. Previously I have been the one to deal with these situations, this time thankfully it is not directly mine to deal with, yet I still find myself stepping into over responsibility.
I have reached a point whereby a choice has to be made, whether I want to or even can create a new life for myself after some serious spiritual dismantling over the last twelve years. I may as well come out with it upfront so to speak, I have a multi-dimensional appreciation of existence here and on other energetic levels, so for me this isn't a physical thing, although it has a physical impact, it is far more of an emotional and mental journey to self love and trust in myself.
:thanks:
Sensitive, intuitive, sensing and recognising bullshit before it's even been expressed made things somewhat uncomfortable for me. To be told pretty much from birth that whatever I sensed or 'knew' was not the reality, caused me to lose trust in myself and join in with the torture through self-sabotage and an innate inability for self love.
Consequently I found myself in a lonely and isolated place in my mind and heart, I know this is by no means a unique experience. Mine has been a long and challenging journey to this point, we all of course have our journeys, and depending upon one's cosmic perspective there may be other journeys to add to the mix.
A young family member was discovered deceased in her student accommodation last week, and every time there is a death in the family it brings a huge amount of patterns and issues to the surface as these things tend to do. Previously I have been the one to deal with these situations, this time thankfully it is not directly mine to deal with, yet I still find myself stepping into over responsibility.
I have reached a point whereby a choice has to be made, whether I want to or even can create a new life for myself after some serious spiritual dismantling over the last twelve years. I may as well come out with it upfront so to speak, I have a multi-dimensional appreciation of existence here and on other energetic levels, so for me this isn't a physical thing, although it has a physical impact, it is far more of an emotional and mental journey to self love and trust in myself.
:thanks:
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