Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

[TheSunFlower]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

i remember

Getting giddy once the beer was in the car. I often wondered if I could get giddy without actually drinking it:-) Never felt giddy in the am after drinking.

Good advice here. Yes, before you know it 20 years of excuses have gone by. I am on day 17 and shaking my head at how I ever thought I could drink for so stinking long. I knew I had a problem at least 15 years ago. What a waste. All the things I could have been accomplishing.

[K9Lover]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

Hi Bri (and welcome Sunflower!),

The cravings...well they weren't really physical after the first couple of days, it was all mental. I could NOT picture a Friday/Saturday night without my beer. Since I was an "at home" drinker, I spent the first couple weekends staying away from home...shopping, dog park, library, restaurants, etc. When it was finally time to tackle a night at home, I made little changes, I rearranged some furniture, moved a couple of lamps...so that my drinking "spot" (the couch) didn't look like my spot anymore! I rented a lot of movies (mostly addiction-related) and went to bed early! I know, not too exciting...but once the habit was broken, it got so much easier.

I admire you for quitting smoking...that is my next dragon to slay, in fact I am attempting to quit tomorrow. I'll be with my family for the next 4 days, and they have no idea I smoke, so I figure I'll just go with my NON-smoking when I get home. I have no problem not smoking around them, I think it's less of a physical dependence than a mental one. My biggest triggers will be that smoke right when I get home from work and the couple I have in the morning. I've quit for 30 days before, so I KNOW I can do it...now the problem is staying quit!

Let me know how you're doing!

K9

[briseus]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

Hey K9 - you probably know how I am doing from my other thread.
It definitely is all mental. I had no physical cravings or anything today except just being irritable but I already took the first sip so my day 1 isn't day 1 anymore.

That is a really good idea - to rearrange furniture and whatnot. That is my problem, I drank at home all the time and the problem is that my apartment is so small I can't even rearrange anything. And I really want to - to change it up!
I used to have 2 weeks sober time and I felt so much better...I am not sure why I keep going back.
I guess that first glass I feel fantastic...then by the 3rd I start turning into Hyde. :/

Quitting smoking for some reason was quite easy for me. Not as hard as trying to quit drinking - that is for sure.
My boyfriend still smokes though and it doesn't bother me.
So I am not sure why I can't just quit drinking.
I am going to try and occupy myself so I don't take that second glass of wine.

I just wanna SCREAM!!!

[K9Lover]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

Can you pour out the wine? Imagine all the toxins it contains and think how hard your liver will have to work to process it. Fast forward through the buzz to the "Hyde" stage. I turn into a 2 headed monster when I drink, and do really stupid sh*t....it's really not glamorous at all. Don't let the wine seduce you, pour it out...

I'm sending you strong vibes...hope you can feel them!

K9

[K9Lover]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

Hi Bri!
How are you doing today? Just wanted to check in on ya!
K9

[briseus]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

Hey K9, thanks for checking in on me.

Today I have been thinking a lot...I drank too much yesterday and am ashamed that I started so early in the day too so that I was half in the bag when the boyfriend got off work.

I am NOT going to drink during the day.

On another note, I have an appointment with an addictions counsellor but it isn't until the end of June but it's better then nothing.

I was quite down on myself for drinking.
I mean, that should tell me something but I just don't listen.

How are you doing today?

[Daya]

Okay...moderation? Why do I keep changing my mind?!

Bri, for years my friends and partner, used to say I didn't have a drinking problem. Despite the slow train wreck my life was becoming.....now , its pretty obvious to anyone close to me i do. My personal definition of a drinking problem ,is my drinking causing me problems? if th answer is yes, then I have a drinking problem

I also dont go through withdrawals when i stop, except cravings sometimes.

I think this problem just gets worse and worse...you are young, dont get to age 50 and look back with regret for the life wasted with booze...

briseus;1318833 wrote: I know that in the back of my mind I have a problem. That is why I have been scoping out forums and researching on alcoholism for a long time now.
I tried only a handful of times - half-assed - it's just that so early in my sobriety (day 3) that the addictive voice is trying to tell me that I don't have a problem and I can moderate with my drinking.

I know you are right daisy, and thank you...
It was unproductive, just getting by, not feeling or even looking my best...I just figured maybe I could drink once or twice a month.
But that obviously didn't work out because it went into a 3 day bender that embarrassed myself and my boyfriend...and getting his Mom involved too - rather, she stuck her nose in our business.
That is beside the point.

I guess I am just having issues because it is day 3...

I can admit to all that you said.