I have spent most of my life seeking approval, mostly from men. If I were attractive enough someone would want me and love me unconditionally and never leave me. As stupid as that sounds, it is something I know I thought whether consciously or not. At the same time, I grew to hate lustful stares and unwanted attention (not that I had supermodel looks or anything)...therefore I sabotaged myself by drinking, mostly because I was too insecure to be confident, and later by overeating because if I was fat I didn't have to deal with being attractive. Ironically, I stayed fat and continued drinking to excess...Now I have to deal with quitting AL and losing weight.
There is a lot more to it. It's something I'm thinking about seriously today. Thank you for listening.
LG
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