Scared to start

[dorsetdude]

i know that i have a drink problem, yet i am scared to stop or can't stop. Every day I wake up with a hangover and hate myself for it, I am missing more and more work through hangovers. I try to moderate my drinking but always seem to get to the bottom of the bottle's. I can't remember a day in the last 2 years when I have not drank. I want to stop (moderate) drinking but am scared that i will have nothing to fulfill my time, i am so stuck in a rut of nightly drinking. Every sunday I tell myself this is the week, but I have been saying that for months.
i am tired of feeling hungover and looking like hell, I want my life back, I just need to get brave and make the first step. Any advise is welcome

[Beaches]

Scared to start

Welcome Dorsetdude,

You have made the first step.

Wanting to stop and being sick of it is a great start and coming here and finding this support is even better. You will find a lot of support here. Keep reading and posting.

Take Care

Beaches

[dorsetdude]

Scared to start

Thanks Beaches,
i am already starting to question if i can (want) to do this, what am i scared of?

i have read alot of postings on here and am gaining comfort and hope from them, i will certainly keep posting and reading.

Take care x

[Rocky]

Scared to start

Welcome Dorsetdude

Getting to the point that you are, to be here looking for some way to stop is the first necessary step.

As you read here you will realize you are in no way alone in this struggle. Get the MWO book and read it. Keep reading all the posts here. Start about making your plan to start the program...Ask questions.

Everyone here is very understanding and helpful

Good luck on your journey!

[Rags]

Scared to start

Hey Dorset, home of the Famous Five!

If you're scared to start, you will be.
If you're excited and eager to start , you will be.
Have a read of the swimming pool post. It may help.
You'll have HEAPS to fill up your time.
When you finally take that first nervous tentative step you will find thatyou had built up the tension soooo much. We have such great imaginations. We can conjure up all sorts of HUGE problems for ourselves. And we do. And we keep on doing it. Then we take that step. And find out that it is possible. What are you scared of? Whatever you are thinking. Take that step. There are lots of us here to help.

[AAthlete]

Scared to start

Your only human and frankly I would be very surprised if you weren't scared about starting this journey. Just remember that we've all been there and have felt the way that you have.

Along with the MWO program I would also encourage you to read The Easy Way To Stop Drinking by Allen Carr. Although not everything he says is spot on, there is some powerful information in there about why and what we do to ourselves when drinking.

In particular, he points out that alcohol doesn't make ANY of our problems go away - it just temporarily deadens out senses to the world around us (a sort of false escape). Yes, you will have extra time on your hands WHEN you quit, so it's important to have a plan in place so that you are better able to cope in those situations.

Best of luck to you. The rode to sobriety can be long, but it is oh so fulfilling to get those first couple of days/weeks/months/years under your belt!

[dorsetdude]

Scared to start

Thanks guys for all the encouragement, I have spent the last few hours reading past postings and threads, i have laughed and cried, i have read postings that made me say 'thats me' or 'thats how i feel'.
I am so glad that i joined today, i am going to spend a few more hours reading!

[Breez]

Scared to start

D~

What are you afraid of....plenty I'm sure. The only person you have known is the person who has known life with a drink in his hand. And now you want guarantees that giving up alcohol is the right choice.

I betcha if you wrote down the pros & cons the pros would win.

Is it easy...no. But I can guarantee that it does GET easier. You've got lots of friends here who will help you. Read the book, get the supplements, get Topa or Campral. Nothing will change unless you change it. You are in charge & deserve the best.:rays:

[laytonsc]

Scared to start

welcome

I am new here as well. I am on day two of moderating my drinking. I tried "cold turkey" before, but I that was too much. I've had a few beers the last two nights. I know what you mean about missing something by not drinking. I work at high stress job and everyday I think about that first sip an hour before I get off work. Sometimes I couldn't even wait until I got home....I would stop by my regular gas station to pick a pint for the ride home in traffic. It is a terrible cycle if you think about it. Drinking is not going to erase your problems. You are going to have to face them the next day. Drinking to me was putting a temporary band-aid on a wound. I are going to have to face it. Try to find something to substitute for the time. Try to break the routine. If you drink when you get home, go to friends house, go to a park after work. Drinking for me was the feeling, but also the habit/routine of cracking a beer in friend of the computer when I got home. Things that are helping me now....

1. Write done eveything that you hate about drinking. Things you miss. How you feel the morning after. What things you could have acomplished if you weren't out of it.
2. Try to keep journal. After a few weeks, go back to the first day and realize how far you have come.
3. Try to exercise. Exercise releases endorphines similar to drinking and sex.

Good Luck.

[dorsetdude]

Scared to start

Thanks for the support Fan, seabreez & layton, its 4pm here in the UK, which means the drinking hour is approaching for me, not sure whats going to happen yet, whether i try to moderate or not drink, i got to break the routine one day.
All i know is how i feel right now, and that is nursing last nights drinking and thinking one drink will help.
i really want to wake up sober and ready for work tomorrow, its just the hours in between!

later guys :thanks:

[aquamarine]

Scared to start

Dorsetdude, Hi, I'm fairly new here too and struggling. I think that really giving up alcohol is not something that most people can just decide and do. It is a process. More of a mental process than anything else that can take a significant amount of time to achieve. You are just beginning the process and I think it can be hard to believe that you will be able to accomplish this goal. Keep with it and don't be too hard on yourself . I think it's really iimportant to focus on what you have achieved ,or learned ,than what you have failed at and slowly you move in the right direction. Sometimes the movement is almost imperceptible but you are trying to change a part of your whole mental being and that takes time to be lasting and permanent. I have not achieved my goal of total abstinence but I feel very optimistic because just from all the attempts and learning about this whole problem my head is in a much better place.I bought the book that AAthlete suggested by Alan Carr and really found it useful.( thank you AAthlete) I t really can help you look at the whole problem in a very helpful and enlightening way. So- welcome, good luck , and believe in yourself.

[Quiescent]

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Welcome Dorsetdude:welcome:

You are among people who have been there.

I have accomplished so much during my new nondrinking hours. You can too!

[DidItForMe]

Scared to start

Hey Dorsetdude:
If you wake up every morning hating yourself, and you have spent your evening with alcohol, then it's pretty clear that alcohol is the problem, not you. Now that sounds sooo simple to say, but we ALL know how hard it is to change that behavior. Alcohol is not your friend, but you will instantly have friends from all over the world right here on this site.
Read the book. That should take up some time, and it will be time well spent. Come talk to us anytime and often.
Best of luck to you!

[dorsetdude]

Scared to start

i feel ashamed of myself, after all the kind support i have woken up with a heavy head, i moderated to a bottle of wine and went to bed at 10pm last night. Left half a bottle of wine, which is unusual, but a still feel like a didn't make a big enough effort, really want to be AF for a while, my mind and body need it.

Later x

[Ripley]

Scared to start

Hi Dorset dude - welcome, I'm here only since Friday and have a similar story to you. Caved in last night and got drunk, BUT I had had a pretty good 5 days before that after joining this site. I want it all to go away with a magic wand, but I think we have to accept that it is going to be little steps. Four steps forward and three backward is still progress.

Do read RJ's book - I'm finding it very helpful. Take the supps and drink a ton of water.

Are you going to trey the topa? I'm not going to go to a UK GP but will get it on line

I'm driving down to Dorset myself in half an hour to visit my parents - will be thinking of you and wishing you well. Kate