Losing control...need to get a grip

[Suki81]

:new:

Just wanted to say hi and briefly introduce myself.

I've been snooping around on this site as a visitor. Sometimes sober and shamefully sometimes with alcohol in my hand. I've taken the plunge to join as I need to get control of my drinking habits. Started off as the occasional drink but over the last 10 years I drink every day. My choice of poison a bottle of wine or vodka. I'm 31 now and whereas before my drink used to start at around 6pm, there have been days where I have woken up and not gone into work because I want to drink. Or days where I look & feel like absolute sh*t and can't face going into work. (Today is one of those days).

I'll sometime go through a phase where I do stop drinking but its never lasted more than a week. I can see myself on a down spiral. If I look back over the 10 years at a rough guess I have probably only had 4 months in total alcohol free. Every day I pray and read and do things to say I shall not drink. But it doesn't happen. I'm hoping that by reading threads on MWO and the advise I may be able to get myself out of this rut.

So much for the brief intro....thanks for reading.

[Lavande]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Hello & welcome Suki,

Glad you decided to join us & take back control of your life!
Please go to the Health store here & download the MWO book pdf. It has a lot of info for you to get started, that's what I did.

Drinking everyday is not normal, we all know that yet it's hard to accept that AL has taken control. When I first started here it was with the hope that I could learn to drink moderately again. But I changed my mind, decided it would be just easier for to remain AF. What's your goal?
Making a plan for yourself really helps. Take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for some great ideas.

Please drop in the Newbies Nest thread for ongoing support!
Wishing you the best!

Lav

[Ship_at_Sea]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Hi Suki :-)

I have just gone 5 days without a drink and Tonight thought I would have a "few glasses" of wine and of course bought 2 bottles (That will last me a week because I am taking it easy)

I can't believe it, I just opened the second bottle..

I'm not even kidding myself anymore, I know that I will drink whatever I bring home..

My best ever effort in 10 years is two weeks without a drink and I still think of myself as "someone who drinks a bit too much"

I AM an alcoholic...After a bottle of vodka on Friday night (alone), I have gotten up and had 6 beers at 8am because I feel so shit...

Not a regular occurance but it has happened twice this year...

I am going to make an appointment with my GP Tomorrow for a weeks worth of Diazepam (Valium) to taper off and then start on Antabuse..

I suffer from some depression and anxiety BUT wonder how much is Alcohol induced...

It's time out for me and Antabuse seems the only way...

Best of luck to you すき

David x

[Marshy]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Welcome Suki!

It really does help to get support. I echo Lav's advice - have a look at the tool box and check in to a regular thread.

Ship - good luck at the doc's. I found Antabuse very useful.

[Destiniey]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Welcome Suki, you came on here looking for help and that is a great first step! Take Lav's advice...it really does help. Reading what everyone else is going through on here is also comforting since you will realize that you are NOT alone. Vodka was my choice of poison too! I would buy a bottle and tell myself that I would just have a few.....NOT....I always ended up a drunken mess! I am on day 2 and this time around I am in a totally positive place and I am hoping that by coming on here as much as I can in a day I can stay sober! The people on here are amazing and the support and encouragement you will find here is awesome!!!!!!! Good luck!

[K9Lover]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Hi Suki and welcome!

Beer was my poison of choice, although I'd switch to rum on occasion to cut down on calories. Funny how the alcoholic mind justifies things...I never considered having water or tea instead! I hope you realize that you are not alone in this. Most (if not all) of us have been where you are. I cannot have any alcohol at home, I know I will drink it. It's good that you've realized you may have a problem at a young age...I've been struggling with this for years and I wish I had quit 10 years ago! Please keep posting so we can get to know you and share in your journey. Good luck, you CAN do this!

K9

[Mattiemoo]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Hi suki, I really feel your pain, I have so many stories like yours. I've done my fair share of morning drinking, I've been through phases in my life where I would definitely describe myself as an alcoholic, since having my children I have had a lot less incidents but there has still been some terrible times. I have also quit for months at a time and I recognise that those times my life is so much better. But then I feel like having a few and the cycle starts again.
I've been working hard towards some qualifications so haven't drunk for about 4 weeks then went to celebrate on Sunday and drank 2 bottles of wine, didn't drink Monday but yesterday I was going out for the evening so started drinking wine in the afternoon!
I so you self esteem and depression, anxiety issues but I have a good life, gorgeous kids, loads of friends and a loving family so there is no excuse.
I'm joining this site after being interested for a few months. Today I've been sober all day so I thank heavens for that

[pixie]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Hi Suki and Welcome!

I was about your age when I first started to realize that my drinking was spiraling downward, and that it was negatively affecting my social life as well as my physical and emotional well-being. But still I lacked awareness of the importance to actually do something about it - good for you for having that, and wanting to make a change now. I wish so much I could go back in time and give myself that wake up call.

There's lots of people here with lots of good advice. Hope to see you around.

[Destiniey]

Losing control...need to get a grip

MattieMoo....Welcome! You have come to the right place! The people on here are amazing and they are full of advice, support and encouragement. Congrats on staying sober today...best of luck tomorrow!

[Suki81]

Losing control...need to get a grip

Thank you guys for the warm welcome and advice.

I didnt drink last night but I took my dog out for a long walk and just stayed out for as long as I could. I knew being at home the boredom would kick in and then I would turn to alcohol. And being in the UK we actually have some good weather so thats a bonus.

Welcome Mattiemoo. I can't really offer much advise at the moment as I am fairly new here, but I understand the feeling. I convince myself that I did so well I didn't drink last week or 2 weeks so surely I don't have a problem. Then (like the pringles advert..."one you pop you can't stop"!) go on a binge and find it difficult to get out of the pit. I'm continously "starting again", unable to get it in my head that I cannot ever be a moderate drinker. How I envy those who can but I can't. I try to prove otherwise then the whole thing falls flat on my face and so does my self esteem and confidence. I'm reading the different threads and messages here as I can relate to many of them and take on the advise given. Best wishes to you as well in your journey.