starting over again

[aquamarine]

I got through just about a week of no alcohol. (My goal is to be totally abstinent.) Then last night I completely blew it. I was really feeling strong, stronger than I think I ever had. The day before yesterday I ran around all day and that evening driving my kids to their different sports. Then around 3 AM one of my kids woke up and got sick all over his bed. Needless to say that took alot of work to clean up and then he went and got sick in my bed. Anyways - something about the whole incident just totally got my brain going and craving a drink. the urge literally just suddenly popped into my head. The whole next day the thought of a drink just wouldn't let up. Finally late that afternoon I gave in and over the course of the evening had a bottle of wine and a half pint of vodka. I always underestimate to strenghth of those cravings. Or maybe it's the strength of their triggers. I hadn't drank for three months last summer . Then when we went to our vacation place where we go evey summer for 2 weeks I got overcome with thoughts of drinking and ended up half way through giving in to it. It was like just the whole enviroment, not any event, triggered my brain. It's like another person enter my brain and it's all Ican listen to. So now I feel so depressed, But this time instead of letting this turn into further drinking I' m going to start right back in on day 1 and try to let it strengthen me instead of bring me down. But boy, for lack of a better expression, I feel like a big loser. I wasn't going to write this post but then I thought what is the point of this if I can't be honest with myself and those who put themselves out there to help. Thanks for listening I really want to beat this thing!

[AAthlete]

starting over again

Tricky little bugger, isn't it? When this happened to me last weekend, I remember telling myself - 'you've done so good, there is no reason you can't have a couple of drinks and stay in control." Of course, after a couple of drinks my brain says, 'hey, you've gone a month without drinking and you don't want to drink again, so you might as well make the most of it...." so down went another couple of drinks. We all know the routine.....

Sounds like you've managed to maintain your positive outlook, which is awesome. Get through today - you'll feel 100% better tomorrow. One night does not change anything, so buck up little camper!!

[tuftyduck]

starting over again

I managed two weeks so far, but 3 days ago my partner got so depressed and of course it was all my fault that I felt I needed a drink to deal with it.
Can see exactly how daily problems upset the system - but keep at it - it seems to work!

[Rocky]

starting over again

Your Struggle is oh so very failure to many here at MWO. You are not alone and not a failure, you are just like us in the middle of the fight.

Step back and look at the big picture...not one day of letting up but how well you have done since beginning. Great Progress has been made! Yes! You are to be commended for being here and progressing so well..we need you here to help us too.

Best Wishes to you!

[DidItForMe]

starting over again

I can't tell you how many times we have all started over. The point however, is that is what we need to do. Start over. Don't give up. You will be smarter the next time that little voice comes into your head. I hate that voice...that's why I am going to beat it. You will too. Sorry you are down today, but tomorrow will be different. hang in there aqua.

[wenzalc]

starting over again

yea we are all here and we start over and over. Ytd i drank again too though i tot i wun cos i actually went to see a chinese sinseh and she told me the root of the problem is my sinus and my polycystic syndrome disabling me to sleep properly and thats why i drank. I mean i beliebve all of us have heard enuff explanations for alcoholic problems but how true is that? If it's truly the truth then why is it that we keep falling back? Anyone have the same sentiments? I hate it that our body is so smart becos alcohol is the fastest way to rid off many unpleasant feelings and then it started getting screwed somewhere inside our brain and that's why all of us will crave a drink in our exasperation at times as our conscious doesnt know why it is so. I can totally relate to the feeling. It's like when the urge comes, it's a life, a demon on its on. U are no longer the person half an hour ago and u become a monster until the next day when the deed is done and the alcohol is in the system. Sighs... Why is it so hard? I dun think we all deserve this. There had to be a better clear cut way.