starting over again

[aquamarine]

I got through just about a week of no alcohol. (My goal is to be totally abstinent.) Then last night I completely blew it. I was really feeling strong, stronger than I think I ever had. The day before yesterday I ran around all day and that evening driving my kids to their different sports. Then around 3 AM one of my kids woke up and got sick all over his bed. Needless to say that took alot of work to clean up and then he went and got sick in my bed. Anyways - something about the whole incident just totally got my brain going and craving a drink. the urge literally just suddenly popped into my head. The whole next day the thought of a drink just wouldn't let up. Finally late that afternoon I gave in and over the course of the evening had a bottle of wine and a half pint of vodka. I always underestimate the strenghth of those cravings. Or maybe it's the strength of their triggers. I hadn't drank for three months last summer . Then when we went to our vacation place where we go evey summer for 2 weeks I got overcome with thoughts of drinking and ended up half way through giving in to it. It was like just the whole enviroment, not any event, triggered my brain. It's like another person enter my brain and it's all I can listen to. So now I feel so depressed, But this time instead of letting this turn into further drinking I' m going to start right back in on day 1 and try to let it strengthen me instead of bring me down. But boy, for lack of a better expression, I feel like a big loser. I wasn't going to write this post but then I thought what is the point of this if I can't be honest with myself and those who put themselves out there to help. Thanks for listening I really want to beat this thing!

[Breez]

starting over again

Sorry to hear but the good thing is just what you mentioned....don't let one episode turn into something more.

My past triggers were nothing in particular. I mentioned it before~I'd drink cause I was happy, sad, tired, it was Monday, I wore red today, a person on the street said Hello to me...you name it. Nothing in particular that I could pinpoint. So that taught me to be more wary of my situations & emotions & to be able to get a better grip on them for future triggers.

Aqua-Onward & Upward! You're going fine.....just keep that goal in front of you.

[lushy]

starting over again

Aqua, have you tried the CDs? I have heard from people who are very successful with abstaining that they work very well. Might want to look into that. The triggers are hard for most of us...........you will be fine.