Hello - Very confused

[Marc EH]

Hi, I've just joined and so glad I've found the site and the forum as I'm not sure what to do and getting very angry with myself.

I've always been a binge drinker, when I go out to a club or party I could never enjoy it sober so always got really drunk. I also started drinking alone and sometimes in the day time.

After a drink driving charge I finally decided to stop drinking as it was affecting my life and family. It wasn't hard at first because I've never suffered with alcohol withdrawal symptoms but instead after a few months I talk myself back in to having one or two.

I never drink at home or alone now but every so often I have a massive binge and the next day always feel guilty and suffer from depression.

I have a lovely partner, enjoy my job but very low confidence and when you watch TV or read Facebook etc everyone seems to be enjoying a 'beer' etc. I think this is why I always end up drinking again.

Does it sound like I have an alcohol addiction and does anyone have any advice? No one I know seems to have this problem so I'm fining it hard to talk to anyone.

Thanks, Marc

[Topper12]

Hello - Very confused

Ho Marc!!!! You sound just like me!! its scary!!! i am just the same!! i can stay off it for a little while then have a huge binge!! i drank alot on my own too!!! im sober 5 days now! last time i drank i had 15 large cans of beer!! i hav always been a binge drinker. im new to this site too and im also looking for answers too!!
I also do the same in clubs when im out with friends !!! when i go into a club i get so drunk and messy!! a always do!!! I got so drunk at a wedding last year i was running in a circle on my own on the dance floor for like 3 minutes!! its madness!!
I wish i could just have a beer here or there but it seems i cant!! I think me and you have come to the right site! Ive no advice as such but all i can say is welcome and i understand what you are going through!! Its Hard!!!

[avi2809]

Hello - Very confused

It helps to change everything. Immerse yourself in AA and you will do fine

[FlyAway]

Hello - Very confused

avi2809;1322919 wrote: It helps to change everything. Immerse yourself in AA and you will do fine

Or don't and you can do fine as well. There are plenty of people on this board who have years of sobriety without belonging to AA.

Marc you probably do have people that you know who have this problem. Unfortunately there is such a stigma with being labeled an "alcoholic" that people are afraid to admit it. I think the label alcoholic is detrimental.

Society teaches us from a young age that drinking is "adult" or "cool." It's something that is glamorized and something to look forward to doing when you're a kid. Probably the first time you drank was to be cool or because you thought it made you look grown up. That's society's teaching. You most likely hated the taste but continued to do it to fit in and look adult.

My advice to you would be to educate yourself as much as possible. Read Kick The Drink Easily by Jason Vale. It will change the way you think about drinking. Read the MWO book and follow its advice if you're interested in quitting.

If you're drinking more than you really want to, then it's a problem. Doesn't matter if you call it addiction, alcoholism, or some other term.

[SAUSAGE]

Hello - Very confused

:welcome: Marc

Welcome to MWO, you have found a great place to be. I have been trying to stop drinking since 2008. I soon learnt that moderation wasn't working for me, it actually made me worse. Eventually after an 8 month quit, I started drinking every day. I've been sober this time since 24 Feb

Check out the Tool Box thread in just Starting out and why not take a look at the Newbies Nest thread where lots of new people hang out. The more you read around the site the more you will learn about different drinking problems and decide what you want to do. Try reading some of the My Story's. Everyone is very supportive and because we are from all over the world there is always someone around 24/7 to offer you support.

Look forward to seeing you around

[FlyAway]

Hello - Very confused

Here's a link to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[Lavande]

Hello - Very confused

Hello & welcome Marc,

Glad you found us
You've already gotten some great advice from the other members. I just wanted to add that when AL takes such front stage place in your life it's time to kick it out!
I haven't missed my drinking days, not one little bit. You can do it too

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[Turnagain]

Hello - Very confused

Count me as another who is glad you are here. You have taken a tremendous step toward finding your life again by being honest about your situation. Marc, you are addicted. Most everyone here is too. None of us choose to become addicted. BUT we can choose NOT to drink. And if you crawl around this place...you'll see the most successful folks DO choose to get alcohol completely out of their lives.

This is a very powerful addiction that is misunderstood by many professionals in the health care and recovery field as well as us regular folk who bring a lot of invalid info to the situation. We are NOT weak-willed or bad people. Drinking too much isn't just a bad habit. Alcohol is a toxin that changes the brain. That is a fact.

My friends Flyaway, Sausage and Zen are right about getting educated about this addiction. As you begin to really understand what and why, then you can effectively deal with it and take the physical and psychological steps to get yourself free.

Here is a link to a youtube video series called Pleasure Unwoven that helped me tremendously:

kevintmccauley1965 - YouTube

I believe there are 8 short parts total.

Lav also has great advice. I remember her writing something quite similar to me nearly 11 months ago. Her words and her example helped me accept - completely accept that my body can no longer tolerate any amount of alcohol ever again. And you know what? I've never been happier. I didn't give up anything. I GOT everything...my life back...my self-respect....my family's respect...my health and an excitement for living. Actually...I DID give up a lot by quitting for good....I gave up depression, self-loathing, weight gain, bad skin, screwed up innards, loneliness and premature death.

So now...immerse yourself in learning, get some supplements and get a plan. And of course, you'll need to get the alcohol out of your body. You'll need to figure out if it's safe to do that on your own...or if you'll need medical supervision.

We're here to support you....you can have a good life again!

[greeneyes]

Hello - Very confused

Hi Marc and welcome! I skimmed the responses so forgive me if I missed someone suggesting reading the MWO book by Roberta Jewell. There is some really good info in it and you might consider developing a plan for supplements and also a "quit" plan in general. You can order it or download it. Look at the Health Store at the top of this or any page.

[Marc EH]

Hello - Very confused

Thank you to each and every one of you who have taken the time to reply to me. I will take on board everything you have said I have already started reading some of the forum posts.

The support here is fabulous and thank you for making me feel so welcome!

[LibraryGirl]

Hello - Very confused

:welcome: Marc. I know the feeling hun. I was a binge drinker for years! I thought it was "normal" to get drunk when you were out having a "good time". I look back and realize I was far from normal, although I was in good company much of the time. It was after I graduated to drinking nightly that I realized I couldn't keep up the farce of being normal. I couldn't function every day with hangovers and the toll AL was doing on my body. I came here after many many years of abusing AL, and thank god for that. Keep posting and reading, and I know you will find the help you are looking for. I look forward to seeing more of you around here!

[Marc EH]

Hello - Very confused

Thank you again. I keep having these feelings where I think maybe I should carry on drinking but only have a couple because I'm always fine when I just get 'merry' rather than drunk.

This isn't good is it?

[K9Lover]

Hello - Very confused

Hi Marc and Welcome!

You're not the first to think you can just have a "couple" and be "merry". I felt that way for a long time too...oh, I tried to cut down, but I always ended up drinking 12 or more beers...every day. After beer 5 or 6 I "forgot" that I was supposed to be cutting down. For me, NO alcohol is the only way to go. It took me a long time to realize that though. Keep reading and posting, you've found a great group of people here!

K9

[Topper12]

Hello - Very confused

Marc EH;1325526 wrote: Thank you again. I keep having these feelings where I think maybe I should carry on drinking but only have a couple because I'm always fine when I just get 'merry' rather than drunk.

This isn't good is it?

So is that what your going to do Marc?

[No More Beer]

Hello - Very confused

:welcome: Marc;

What can i say, been there done that and got the T-Shirt. It is like K9Lover said around drink number 5, cut back was not on my mind. For me the switch already flipped and I was looking forward to the next drink.

I'm just starting out now, so I still have a long way to go. But today is day 5 AF. Have to say , not waking up with a hangover is AWESOME!!:wd: