well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

[Ripley]

hi guys, feeling a bit low (and drunk) tonight...

Moderated all weekend, - on big high after finding this site on friday and buying supps. AF monday night (incredible), tuesday night thad a sip of husband's beer at my son's birthday party and felt a huge BUZZZZZZZ from just an inch of the stuff... managed to limit it to half a bottle of red last night with great difficulty.

Today have thought about booze since waking up. Caved in at 6 pm. Now working my way towards finishing the bottle. It's not about the amout of units consumed or whatever, I am just so scared of the HUNGER I have for it. I know this means it is a problem. I just so don't want it to be.

Guess i'd better try the topa. Am very sad that this is me.

K x

[Ripley]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Fan, thank you so much. I can't tell you how lovely it is to hear this. I'm going to go and drink water now.

you know, I've only had just over half a bottle of wine. Like I say. many people would say "what's the problem? Get a grip!" - but for me it is like having a whispering demon on my shoulder. You know what I am talking about.

Bless you for your quick reply. K x

[lushy]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Kate, you are aware you have a problem. You are working on improving this problem. What more can you ask for?

[Ripley]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Hi Lush, you're right I know. I'm just coming to terms with this... it's a bloody hard thing to admit to yourself. i would like to be the person I was before this became a problem. This site and the members are a huge motivation. Thank you for your kindness x

[AAthlete]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Hang in there, Kate. You'll may never be the person you were before you started drinking - but I'm betting that you'll be better because you're fighting the good fight and will know that sobriety is to be truly cherished....

:goodluck: :goodluck:

[morrison]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

First post here. Kate, I agree this place is great. I've been reading post for hours and hours, and am getting good advice. I just ordered one of the suggested books. I'm really going to try this. I wish I would limit myself to a bottle of wine! Seriously, I drink so much, it's amazing I'm alive. But even if you aren't drinking a lot, it still sucks to feel you're not the one in control. I went to AA, and it's not for me. I do have a prescription from my doctor for Campral, but haven't gotten it filled. I may have to get that done. Well, good luck in quitting, and I agree it's probably really good to come here and read/post, and work the program. I was so upset that I thought AA was the only way. It really had me discouraged. Okay, long winded post. I just wanted to join in. I need this to work, or else I'm in big trouble. Thanks to everyone that is here to help.

[tawnyfrog]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Hi Morrison and Kate :welcome:

It really can get better. Hope you stick around.

[Ripley]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Hello again, well, have got up this morning and decided to be positive. Went to bed drunk 1 night out of 5 instead of 5 nights out of 5.... PROGRESS! *pats self on back*

Thanks guys. Hi Morrison, welcome, hope we can do this together.

Off to stay with my folks today who don;t drink much so I won't have the chance to act like an idiot. Will check back in and talk to you guys at the weekend. Have a good one!

K x

[DidItForMe]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Hello Kate and Morrison:
I am so glad you have found this site. We have been there, trust me! Hang in there and keep fighting.
Best wishes to you both!

[Rocky]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Kate

You are correct...Not Easy...

You may want to implement the complete program to give you all the leverage, all the tools to give yourself the best chance to be successful

Blessing to you.

[gypsy girl]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

I can understand this; and its wine- why is it always wine? I do the same becasue until the bottel is empty I just can' rest. I will try the water as well- I do mix half anf half sometimes with spearkiling water and that helps in the mornings at least- you drink as much alcohol (BAD!!!!!) BUT YOU DON'T FEEL QUITE AS LOUSY.

[morrison]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

kate7173;96760 wrote: Hello again, well, have got up this morning and decided to be positive. Went to bed drunk 1 night out of 5 instead of 5 nights out of 5.... PROGRESS! *pats self on back*

Thanks guys. Hi Morrison, welcome, hope we can do this together.

Off to stay with my folks today who don;t drink much so I won't have the chance to act like an idiot. Will check back in and talk to you guys at the weekend. Have a good one!

K x

Hello Kate, and company. I really appreciate the response. I plan on coming on here everyday. I know I will miss days for reasons, but right now, this is as intimate as I can get with people. I know a big part of why I don't like AA, and the main part is I'm just so dam shy. Hurt to quit boozing when you are a shy person. Anyway, this is a start. It is good to remember that we are not alone. I've been so embarrassed for so long because of this. The irony is, the booze caused my embarrassment, and then I used the booze to get rid of it. A constant cycle. I know it is going to be especically hard for me, because I don't just have a problem with social anxiety, I've also always had other problems since I was a kid. Temper, hyperactivity, ADD, and things like that. I'm learning now, that alcohol has made my brain so much worse. Oh, I went ranting again. Anyway, it's therapeutic. Just so much I want to get out of my system. If nobody reads my long rants, it's still nice to put it out there, even though we can't be face to face. Thanks.

[irishlady]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Hello morrison,

Listen, anything that helps, anything at all, so keep on reading and posting here, oh yes, if you want to rant THEN RANT, we all do it from time to time, and boy does it help....

[morrison]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

irishlady;96967 wrote: Hello morrison,

Listen, anything that helps, anything at all, so keep on reading and posting here, oh yes, if you want to rant THEN RANT, we all do it from time to time, and boy does it help....

Thanks. Sometimes I type like I talk, which is extremely quick. I'm a wee bit high-strung. I like your handle. I'm basically Irish(although American), as both my parents, and grandparents, etc. are Irish. Grew up in an Irish bar and all. Beer and wine and mixed drinks at ALL occasions. After funerals, we would all get hammered immediately. Anyway, I do fit the Irish stereotype. I like having a good time. Getting drunk, singing, dancing, carrying on. But, it just isn't fun any more. One of these days I'd actually like to get to Ireland, but I know damn well I better have myself under control. It may be a year or so. haha.

[irishlady]

well I knew it wouldn't be easy...

Oh morrison, I think you have inherited the Irish gene, life and soul of the party but with that underlying cloak of melancholy..

I know what you mean though when you say it isn't fun anymore, it means its now out of control, but that is the challenge, taking the control back and if anyplace can help you this one can.. Stay with it...